Feeling lost/detached

LegacyUser

Just feeling this way for a long time thought id write it down and maybe get some advice...maybe even just vent a little.

Im a 28 year old male, single, no friends, no job nothing. The friend situation is pretty much down to me, I never had a lot of friends but I used to have a couple, go out on weekends and such but that's gone due to a couple of reasons, the first is I don't drink anymore, second is ever since I had to stop drinking I realize I don't really like people, don't like being around them or want to know anyone due to the bull**** they bring. Looking back I realize I did no socializing without drink.

Ive had a fair amount of trouble with anxiety for the last few years, I finally seem to have gotten some control back as of now but im on a fair amount of medication now as a result of a good few years of anxiety. Medication gradually built up and up over the years.

I am content with being on my own though, i don't crave attention or need to be around anyone, I also know I'll be single forever due to the fact I have no real contact with anyone outside my immediate family, which is only two people, but this also doesn't bother me, which I sometimes find a bit unsettling.

I know in reality it would be nice to meet someone settle down and maybe do the whole family thing but its just not the way im wired, I know it would be nice but at the same time I don't care if it happens or not, if that makes sense. I see people having a nightmare in relationships, people with multiple kids with different people, fighting for access, fathers dealing with new boyfriends I mean the list goes on...I couldn't bear that.

The job thing scares me more than anything. I know I'll need to end up looking for work but the thoughts of it terrify me, interviews, first days and new people...my stomach just turns at the thought of it. Ive been stuck in a rut for a long time and now id be happy to stay in my house and never leave or meet anyone again, in fact the very thought of having to leave and interact with the world makes me nauseous. To be honest id rather stick daggers in myself than have to deal with people.

Anyway, I dont really know why I wrote this or what im expecting from it but if you've read it, thanks for reading.

Wesser

What do you think your biggest problem Is?

Wesser

What do you think your biggest problem Is?

eet fuk

I know that feeling man. How long have you been thinking like this?

Also, how is your physical health? Do you eat well/exercise/drink enough water?

Jay Pentatonic

anonuser12345 wrote: »

Ive been stuck in a rut for a long time and now id be happy to stay in my house and never leave or meet anyone again, in fact the very thought of having to leave and interact with the world makes me nauseous. To be honest id rather stick daggers in myself than have to deal with people.

Working on this would be a good starting point. Being stuck in a rut for a long time & not wanting to leave the house or interact with others isn't a good way to live life. You owe it to yourself to live better than that.

Start small. And if small steps are still daunting, then break them down smaller.

Maybe start volunteering? You've nothing really to lose with voluntary work. Nothing's on the line and ultimately you can leave at any point. Worth looking into at least! Doing something even once a week for a few hours could help you loads.
Do you have any hobbies/interests? Maybe doing something with others like joining a book club, group guitar lessons or doing a sport could help too?

Goderator

Sorry to hear this, would you be able to tell us what medication you are on?

My other half suffers from GAD, and the medication hasnt worked well. The only thing that helps is valium or diazepam

Jemma247

Do you mind me asking what county you are in OP?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

Biggest problem I feel is probably lack of confidence and nerves, I avoid things, put them off until the last possible minute, for example recently I was supposed to go to someone to help me sort my C.V's but for whatever reason I keep putting it off, the thoughts of making the phone call gives me a sensation of butterflies in my stomach.

Ive been feeling like this a few years, the medication has numbed me enough to not care much anymore, I don't mind this though as what came before was unbearable, it hasn't made me anymore confident however.

Medication wise im on a daytime dose of a 40mg Prozac, 50 mg Beta Blocker, 25mg of seroquel and at night I take a Mirtazapine and 50mg of seroquel. This built up over the course of a few years, Ive been on others off and on too, valium/Xanax/Sleeping Pills over the years. Im fairly alright at the moment, as I said the medication has pretty much numbed a lot of the anxiety.

As you can probably imagine i have been involved with the local mental health services in my area but I don't find them much use, medication seems to be the only answer and the waiting lists are huge for any sort of therapy.

Im definitely an introvert type of personality, I do fine on my own and have never been big into large groups or big social events, Im not really looking for friends again to be honest, but its holding me back job wise and taking the first step with things, life involves people and that can't be avoided unfortunately for me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate anyone or anything like that, I believe people should be free to live how they want once they're not hurting anyone else. I don't begrudge anyone who thrives in the company of others, its just not me. Id happily live in a cabin in the woods with Internet/TV and never seek company.

eet fuk

Just reading over your posts again there OP. Can you remember anything that you enjoyed before you went on the medication? It really does sound as though the meds have completely numbed your emotions.
What's the main thing that you want to get done right now?