Page girl and flower girl ???

annie jay

My Brother is getting married in October. He has 2 nieces, 9 and 7 years. The Bride had no nephews or nieces.
There was a brief mention of the girls being involved in the wedding party when they initially got engaged and in the excitment.
I spoke to the bride recently and mentioned to her about the girls dresses and attire. She said she must look into it and asked what do flower girls do?? She mentioned looking at Next online for dresses.
This is a big family wedding and everything is more or else in place.

So my query and wondering is.....
If they wanted my daughters in the wedding party, would this not be organised or discussed ?? Or is it something you leave till last minute??

Another query I have is what can 2 flower girls do?? One bring up the flowers and the other the rings ?? It is referred as page boy??
I'm sure this is common, but I am not sure ?

And should I offer to pay for their outfits , i'm saying this as the bride said about checking out Next clothes online?? They do bridal attire.

i very much want to help and be of use to My brother and his new wife to be, not a adherence and pushy with my children in the wedding party.

Your thoughts and Experience please

Addle

They're just there to look cute in photos.
It's no big deal.

Atomic Pineapple

Addle wrote: »

They're just there to look cute in photos.
It's no big deal.

Pretty much this, they just walk up the aisle and that's pretty much it, they don't actually do anything so there is nothing to plan or discuss.

yellow76

Bride and groom pay for bridal party attire in my experience but they'd probably appreciate the offer.

I'd expect the bride to have been in touch by now to arrange a shopping trip to choose dresses and shoes especially in case they need alterations. Or at least to have given you direction on what dress colour to get etc

Have they changed their minds about flower girls or just v laid back?

They wouldn't have any job other than to turn up perhaps carry some flowers and look cute.

Addle

No pressure. You can buy flower girl dresses in so many shops now.

Just ask what the plan is.

rainbowtrout

annie jay wrote: »

I spoke to the bride recently and mentioned to her about the girls dresses and attire. She said she must look into it and asked what do flower girls do?? She mentioned looking at Next online for dresses.

If they wanted my daughters in the wedding party, would this not be organised or discussed ?? Or is it something you leave till last minute??





i very much want to help and be of use to My brother and his new wife to be, not a adherence and pushy with my children in the wedding party.

Your thoughts and Experience please

Their wedding. Stop interfering and let them at it. If they want your kids involved in the ceremony they will come back to you about it. Sounds like they didn't and hadn't brought it up until you did again.

annie jay

Thanks everyone . I am not interfering at all , i was asking about the plans and having a conversation with them both.
I will send them a message asking the direct question and ask about colour schemes etc and check dresses online and pay myself for the girls outfits.

pwurple

I think it could be that traditionally the flower girls are members of the brides family rather than the grooms.

Ask your brother, not his fiance.

Scraggs

annie jay wrote: »

Thanks everyone . I am not interfering at all , i was asking about the plans and having a conversation with them both.
I will send them a message asking the direct question and ask about colour schemes etc and check dresses online and pay myself for the girls outfits.

Honestly, I would see that as interfering. Let them organise their wedding however they like. If they want your kids to be in the bridal party they will arrange outfits etc. It seems to me you're pushing this.

Citygirl1

Are ages 9 and 7 not a little old for flower girls? Particularly the 9 year old. I thought usually flower girls would be smaller kids.

From your post, it does sound like the bride was not really planning to have flower girls, but acted polite when you brought it up, saying she must look into it. I'd agree you should leave it, and if she is interested in this, she'll come back to you. Meanwhile, do look around for some other dresses they could wear as guests (assuming they are invited).

Mrs OBumble

Talk to your brother.

Let him know that you're totally happy with whatever plans they have, including if the kids aren't involved at all beyond being guests.

Tell him that you need the happy couple to let you know what they want, so that you know whether you need to get outfits for the kids or whether the bride wants to do that.

The Princess Bride

The wedding is in October.
In another few days that'll be next month.

I cannot imagine that this or any couple wouldn't have the majority of their wedding organised by now, including the bridal party attire.

They either forgot or changed their minds.
I'd say nothing if it was me.They know how to contact you.
Their wedding, their choice.

Pawwed Rig

We had my 2 nieces as flower girls when they were 5 and three. Their only 'job' as such was go illicit a few oooo's and aaaw's and hang around somewhere on the vicinity of the photos. It is not something that took any planning.

freshpopcorn

I think it's important to sort this out now by having a quite chat with your brother.(Make it cleat that it isn't an issue if there not)
The main reason I'd suggest this just to make sure that there was a miss communication between any of ye and ye relies a few days before the wedding that the girls aren't ready/have the proper dresses etc.

Del2005

annie jay wrote: »

Thanks everyone . I am not interfering at all , i was asking about the plans and having a conversation with them both.
I will send them a message asking the direct question and ask about colour schemes etc and check dresses online and pay myself for the girls outfits.

A message this close to the wedding could be misinterpreted, better have a quick quite talk.

harr

To be honest it sounds like you want your girls to be part of the wedding more so than the bride and groom.
If the wedding is in October this would have been discussed months ago.
Now they may be feeling under pressure to have the girls as flower girls and certainly 9 is a little old to be one.
Ring your brother and explain that you were only double checking to be sure of no miscommunication and that if they aren't having flower girls or page that's perfectly ok.
I definitely wouldn't be going organising dresses just yet ...
Are your children invited to the wedding as guests?

muminpajamas

It could be that they only wanted the 7 year old but knew that this would disappoint the 9 year old so decided to not have any flower girls at all. My 7 year old was a flower girl for a relatives wedding but my older child got left out and although it was never discussed I definitely think it was a big disappointment to see her younger sister getting the fancy dress.

Dee01

If they wanted a flower girl or two, they'd have it sorted or at least properly discussed at this stage. Don't get on to her asking again. You've already done this twice. If she/he want the girls in the bridal party, they will sort it. If you hear nothing, get the girls their own (non-flower girl) outfit a week or two before the wedding. Make a day of it for the three of you if you like.