Am I irrationally pissed off??

runningbuddy

Hi folks, posted about this before. I am involved in an online relationship with a guy. He lives in Canada, me in Ireland. Not sure how it will pan out but with kids, busy lives, etc., it's okay. Has been going on for almost 2 years now.

We are intimate online but it's more than that. Anyway, we were intimate last night (well, early morning for me..time difference!) . Won't go into details but you get the idea :pac:

Anyway just after we both came, we were chatting and suddenly he hung up. He then messaged and said xx (his daughter) called him. I'm pissed off and hurt because I feel he could have said "sorry, have to go" he didn't try to call back. He has been messaging but didn't mention hanging up on me....am I being irrational here??

rainbowtrout

Why don't you just ask him why he hung up so suddenly? If there was no reason, then tell him you're pissed off about it. He might have been rude and inconsiderate or maybe the daughter had an accident and let a yell out so he hung up. You won't know unless you ask.

m'lady

Have you met this guy?, and has he done this before, hanging up suddenly?

runningbuddy

Hi, yes we have met. Because of the distance, logistics,etc...we have both agreed to keep it casual. We will meet up once or twice a year and that's it. Suits us both, for now.

When he hung up, he messaged...had to go x rang. I didn't reply. He said haven't spoken to her in a few days. Felt that was by way of explanation but to be honest, I'm hurt.

Haven't had the head to message him today to explain why I'm hurt.

Ursus Horribilis

Yes I think you're irrationally annoyed. But this is the sort of thing that happens when you get involved in long distance relationships. Unless you know the person very well and have good communication, this is the kind of issue that will blow up and become a bigger problem. Are you sure you're happy with this relationship though? Or, more to the point, how there appears to be no easy solution to how you can be together. I replied to a different thread of yours about this on After Hours the other day. It just seems to be a little coincidental that you've started two threads about it lately.

runningbuddy

Thanks ursus, I don't know. Am a bit all over the place. Am starting to feel now I'm investing too much energy and time into it. It suited me for a while. I don't want to sound shallow but it suited me because I just do not have the time/energy for a "normal" relationship. Not long out of a horrible marriage.

Ursus Horribilis

I remembered your thread from the other day and thought it was a little sad. Not in a pathetic sense but from a human emotions point of view. It must be so tough to have met someone you really like, only for them to be living in Canada. Worse still, in Canada and won't be coming back. I don't know what to say to you really because there appears to be no obvious solution to it. It's easy for me to say you're a bit too hurt over this but I'm not in this relationship. Long distant relationships are bloody hard even for established couples.

runningbuddy

Thanks ursus....it hurts like hell at times, yes. Deep down, I know what I need to do. End it but I will miss his friendship too...:(

We were chatting online all day yesterday and it was lovely, so close them last night, I felt like crap. It's a rollercoaster of emotions

seenitall

Yeah, this isn't about being hung up on as such. It sounds to me like this "relationship" has outlived its purpose for you. If it were only about Skype sex, then you wouldn't be feeling this bad after being hung up on. And if it isn't solely about sex, if your feelings are getting involved, that's bad news for the current set up, because, as someone already wrote to you on another thread, no one is moving anywhere, therefore the relationship has no future.

You are worth more than a relationship with no future. If I were you, I'd be getting busy living my life and meeting men who are willing and able to be there for me in flesh and blood - so many more benefits to that, sexually, emotionally, and a few other levels. Don't sell yourself short because you have been hurt in the past. Your feelings around last night are an overreaction to something small and not very significant, and as such, an indicator that you are getting slowly fed up with this long distance never-never situation. And that you need more, at this time. So be brave and open yourself up to real life instead of a Skype "relationship".

runningbuddy

Thanks folks,ye are all right...I know that ...hurts like hell...can't believe I'm in in 40s and feel this way !!

alibab

Had to reply as I was in a similar situation as in it was a long distance relationship another country . Also in my 40s and divorced. I left it go on too long all sorts of promises at the start of moving back here etc only for this never to happen and me doing all the travelling. In the end enough was enough and I saw no end to it and it was going nowhere. Weekends were especially hard and lonely . In the end I called it a day and it is still hard but I know I did the right thing .

runningbuddy

Thanks alib, hope you are feeling better. We had both acknowledged and agreed it is going nowhere. Sounds crazy, I know. The hardest part is, we were good friends before it developed into something else. Would love to have that back at least