How do you get sh1t off the cuff of a shirt?

Mr.Crinklewood

Without the use if a washing machine.

Getting rid of the smell may be adequate.

Context. ..interview at 1600. In building where it's taking place and I had an arse wiping malfunction.

WoollyRedHat

Blast it with .......

The Backwards Man

No offence, but what kind of job are you going for when you can't wipe your own arse properly?

ToddyDoody

Put it over the kettle and steam it off.

BrokenArrows

I recommend you just say your feeling unwell and reschedule.

whiskeyman

Roll up your sleeves.
Present them with a true 'can do' and 'hands on' appearance.

WoollyRedHat

I once accidentally dipped my 'cloak' in urine when I was going to pee. The costume lady wasn't best pleased. I don't know what she expected of me, I was after all playing the part of a peasant.

Boom_Bap

Go into the interview shirtless.

realdanbreen

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Without the use if a washing machine.

Getting rid of the smell may be adequate.

Context. ..interview at 1600. In building where it's taking place and I had an arse wiping malfunction.

During the interview tell them what happened. It's bound to be an ice breaker and could swing it for you.

The Backwards Man

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Go into the interview shirtless.

You can leave your hat on

Boom_Bap

The Backwards Man wrote: »

You can leave your hat on

Or rip the sleeves off your shirt like a real badas$ would.

Hercule Poirot

Cover yourself in ****, say it's a custom of your religion, should be grand

Barry Badrinath

Some people just cant function in real life.

Wtf like.

Ficheall

Orange/lemon juice and vinegar will sort you out, OP.

realdanbreen

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Without the use if a washing machine.

Getting rid of the smell may be adequate.

Context. ..interview at 1600. In building where it's taking place and I had an arse wiping malfunction.

How did you get on? When are you starting?

Brainz

Lick it off

Mr. CooL ICE

realdanbreen wrote: »

How did you get on? When are you starting?

I, for one, cannot continue with life until I know how this interview went.

Cmon OP, this is worse than the discovered safe

AlmightyCushion

Don't clean it off OP. When walking into the interview just point at your cuff and say 'Sorry about my shirt, I'm having a shít day'. The hilarity of that pun will guarantee you the job. Any sexy women in the vicinity will also want you more than any woman has wanted a man before.

Odyssey 2005

Well op ???
I'm bursting for a pony but am waiting to hear how it went..

xzanti

I heard it's good luck. Like a rabbits foot or a lucky penny. Bit of sh1t on your cuff, jobs a good'n.

jester77

Tipp-ex

Colonel Claptrap

1 hour in...those poor poor interviewers.

I hope OP isn't sweating.

Mr.Crinklewood

It went surprisingly ok.

I think I was too busy worrying about the smell to worry about the interview itself.

Outkast_IRE

Must ask HR was anybody in for an interview today and warn them off.

topper75

If the role was chippendale dancer, you won't get it. We take our cuffs and collars very seriously. The odd performance with a skidmark on the jocks can be laughed off, but not cuffs or collars.

diomed

Get a scissors, cut off the cuff, and leave it at reception.
You can collect it after the interview and sew it back on.

Allinall

jester77 wrote: »

Tipp-ex

In my first job I was asked to order Tippex.

I ordered 5 litres.

Big mistake.

frag420

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Put it over the kettle and steam it off.

Must try this the next time I run out of bog roll...

GhostyMcGhost

The Backwards Man wrote: »

No offence, but what kind of job are you going for when you can't wipe your own arse properly?

A toilet attendant


My apologies. A urinal technician

Pintman Paddy Losty

An awful lot of sanctimonious high horse-riders around here.

The man probably had a skip of pints last night and had a massive stout ****e. The clean up operation for that can be very messy. Easy mistake to make.

Advice is too late for the OP but you can fix this very simply. Just scoop the excess scutter off with a bit of tissue paper. Remove the shirt and wash in the toilet sink with a generous helping of liquid soap. Try not rub the shyte around making the stain larger. Dry using the hand drier.

The stain will remain but the colour will be significantly paler and unnoticeable . The smell will be more or less gone and only the most eagle eyed punter will notice the remaining evidence.

This has happened me on more than one occassion. Day 2 of a wedding is a minefield for this sort of thing.

Barry Badrinath

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

It went surprisingly ok.

I think I was too busy worrying about the smell to worry about the interview itself.

Please tell me it was for a salad chopper job in Subway!

Ficheall

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

An awful lot of sanctimonious high horse-riders around here.

The man probably had a skip of pints last night and had a massive stout ****e. The clean up operation for that can be very messy. Easy mistake to make.

Advice is too late for the OP but you can fix this very simply. Just scoop the excess scutter off with a bit of tissue paper. Remove the shirt and wash in the toilet sink with a generous helping of liquid soap. Try not rub the shyte around making the stain larger. Dry using the hand drier.

The stain will remain but the colour will be significantly paler and unnoticeable . The smell will be more or less gone and only the most eagle eyed punter will notice the remaining evidence.

This has happened me on more than one occassion. Day 2 of a wedding is a minefield for this sort of thing.

Where you at PandaPoo's wedding?

Rumpy Pumpy

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

An awful lot of sanctimonious high horse-riders around here.

The man probably had a skip of pints last night and had a massive stout ****e. The clean up operation for that can be very messy. Easy mistake to make.

Advice is too late for the OP but you can fix this very simply. Just scoop the excess scutter off with a bit of tissue paper. Remove the shirt and wash in the toilet sink with a generous helping of liquid soap. Try not rub the shyte around making the stain larger. Dry using the hand drier.

The stain will remain but the colour will be significantly paler and unnoticeable . The smell will be more or less gone and only the most eagle eyed punter will notice the remaining evidence.

This has happened me on more than one occassion. Day 2 of a wedding is a minefield for this sort of thing.

Terrible porter in most hotels. Don't beat yourself up over it.

9or10

The Backwards Man wrote: »

No offence, but what kind of job are you going for when you can't wipe your own arse properly?

Probably Taoiseach

realdanbreen

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

It went surprisingly ok.

I think I was too busy worrying about the smell to worry about the interview itself.

I think you might be onto something here Mr C. No more fretting about doing an interview just crap your pants and take it from there. When are you starting the new job?

the headbanger

You could just cum on it

Capt'n Midnight

Allinall wrote: »

In my first job I was asked to order Tippex.

I ordered 5 litres.

Big mistake.

Must have been a big mistake if it needed 5 litters of Tippex to correct.

Barry Badrinath

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Must have been a big mistake if it needed 5 litters of Tippex to correct.

Whoooooosh!

Capt'n Midnight

Makes you wonder what sort of mistake needs 5 litres of Tippex ?


"I've an interview in 15 minutes and I need my shirt to be whiter than white"

pgj2015

imagine if you took the shirt off and were there frantically cleaning it in the sink when one of the interviewers walk in lol