IVF alone??

pencilsharp

Hi,

I'm 35 and single. I would love to meet someone but chances are very low at this stage. Apart from meeting someone all I want in the world is to be a mam. Obviously without a man I'd have to do this alone. I'm just wondering if this is possible and has anyone been through it?

Also is it fair on the child? I've my own home, I've a very financially stable job and I've all the love in the world to give? However, is it fair to deny a child a father? I've discussed it with my family and a few friends and They are very supportive of the idea and would be there for the child as well as me.

Has anyone done it alone? Is it allowed?? I've tried to find blogs about it but can find very little information. If anyone could offer me any advice or direct me down the right path I would appreciate it.

Thanks, T

fmpisces

pencilsharp wrote: »

Hi,

I'm 35 and single. I would love to meet someone but chances are very low at this stage. Apart from meeting someone all I want in the world is to be a mam. Obviously without a man I'd have to do this alone. I'm just wondering if this is possible and has anyone been through it?

Also is it fair on the child? I've my own home, I've a very financially stable job and I've all the love in the world to give? However, is it fair to deny a child a father? I've discussed it with my family and a few friends and They are very supportive of the idea and would be there for the child as well as me.

Has anyone done it alone? Is it allowed?? I've tried to find blogs about it but can find very little information. If anyone could offer me any advice or direct me down the right path I would appreciate it.

Thanks, T

Hi pencilsharp,

While I have no experience of IVF or raising children totally on my own (separated mum here) what I would like to say is to h€ll what anyone else thinks, you have the support of those you care about and who care about you and that counts for a lot. Society in general, some will always have something to say whether good, bad or indifferent so I wouldn't worry about that.

As for whether or not it's "fair" on the child, that really depends on your own personal views. I mean, look at it this way: there's plenty of single mothers and fathers parenting alone, due to whatever circumstances led to it being that way. Most do a great job. Then you have couples with children, again, most do a great job. What I'm trying to say is that it's not always a bad/negative thing to be raised by one parent. If you are ready to share your life with a child and can provide for him/her in all aspects as you've covered above, then I wish you the very best of luck with that. I suppose my first port of call if it were me would be to go see my GP, who I'd hope would be able to give me more info.

Sorry I can't be of any proper help.

Mitch Connor

The 'choice' for the child would be

(a) have a loving mother but, potentially, no dad.
(b) not exist.

I can't think why (b) is 'fairer'.

If you can go for it, go for it.

As an aside, I don't think your chances of meeting someone at 35 are poor - maybe that should have been the case in years gone by, but i think people settling down in the 30s or later is becoming far more normal - whether you would encounter further issues with conceiving naturally as time goes on is another matter (or part of your post I missed)

pencilsharp

Mitch Connor wrote: »

As an aside, I don't think your chances of meeting someone at 35 are poor - maybe that should have been the case in years gone by, but i think people settling down in the 30s or later is becoming far more normal - whether you would encounter further issues with conceiving naturally as time goes on is another matter (or part of your post I missed)

Firstly, thank you. Personally my luck with men so far has been sh!t and I don't see it getting better!! I suppose one of my concerns is about getting older and my chances of conceiving lowering and that's why I've began to think about this now.

pencilsharp

fmpisces wrote: »

Hi pencilsharp,

what I would like to say is to h€ll what anyone else thinks, you have the support of those you care about and who care about you and that counts for a lot. Society in general, some will always have something to say whether good, bad or indifferent so I wouldn't worry about

Sorry I can't be of any proper help.

You have been a help, it's nice to see people don't think I'm crazy, thank you!

Lucyfur

Haven't been through it alone myself but it's definitely possible. I had IVF with Galway fertility clinic. With them you can use donor sperm.

A child needs to be loved and cared for. I don't think it matters if that comes from one or two parents. Best of luck

dubrov

Just in case it isn't obvious, you only need IVF if you have fertility issues. Otherwise a cup and syringe will probably do the trick.

Toots

You can do IVF on your own, you just need donor sperm. A lot of the clinics can organise that for you. A friend of mine is in a same sex relationship and their child was conceived using donor sperm that their clinic sourced.

Also as dubrov said, unless you've fertility issues yourself, you might not need the full whack of IVF. My friend had IUI (intra uterine insemination) and said the procedure itself wasn't that uncomfortable. It was also less expensive than IVF.

Deemi

Sorry if i have strayed from the subject but dont know where else to post. After 3 failed IUI's and at age 46 i have had to quickly come around to the idea of hopefully having a baby by donor egg & donor sperm (i dont have a partner/husband).
Rather than paying a lot more money to a fertility clinic to match donor sperm & donor egg characteristics to me....some clinics in spain provide a much cheaper option of 'donor embryo' where there is no matching of donor characteristics (hair, eyes, height etc)..to me.....race only is matched. So i would know the 'race' of my baby but wouldnt Know anything about donors hair or eye colour, height, weight etc. The difference in cost is huge. Has anyone gone down this route? I have information overload from all the clinics options! Thanks

catrionanic

I have no experience to add to this, but just wanted to say fair play for taking control of your fertility and going down this avenue. It’s a brave thing to do, and I hope it all works out well for you.