Gutted over ex

Eircom_Sucks

Long story short

Finished with a girl 3 months ago over " lack of passion " now this is gonna sound stupid to most but to me it was massive , i had a torrid 6 years with an ex of mine , no romance or affection and swore i'd never get involved in that crap again etc

Now i fancied the pants off the new girl and her me and she has kids from previous thing and me too , we got on great and so comfy together etc

First date we kissed and there was no tongue action at all , i joked jaysus do you not use your tongue and she said " ahh im just outta practice " so i went with it , fast foward 2 months and same thing , i said it again and she said " i don't use my tongue " so i felt she lied ( yes hardly a deal breaker to most ) but thing is i love her and mad about her and think about her all the time , thing is she was hurt alot by her kids dad so when she gets her mind on something she is stubborn , i know deep down inside she still feels something for me but prob afraid incase i walk away again etc

How do i win her around and show her im serious ?

Shes who i want

Wesser

So just to clarify.

She doesn't use her tongue while kissing......you thought she was lying about wether or not she uses her tongue while kissing.... but she does not use her tongue while kissing....

Was it that you didn't believe her.... even though she diesnt use it........ or that you don't like th e lack of tongue .

leggo

How do you need to 'win her around' if you're the one who dumped her for not using her tongue while kissing?

Eircom_Sucks

leggo wrote: »

How do you need to 'win her around' if you're the one who dumped her for not using her tongue while kissing?

Cause i made a monumental mistake simple

Eircom_Sucks

Wesser wrote: »

So just to clarify.

She doesn't use her tongue while kissing......you thought she was lying about wether or not she uses her tongue while kissing.... but she does not use her tongue while kissing....

Was it that you didn't believe her.... even though she diesnt use it........ or that you don't like th e lack of tongue .

I like a girl who uses her tongue but on reflection thats such a minor thing in comparison to anything else so i screwed up

peckerhead

Offer on bended knee to show her what a tongue is meant for.

LegacyUser

Is there more to this 'lack of passion' that you describe?
I very rarely use tongue but am very passionate and have been told that by men i've been with.

I wouldn't consider that to be a lie either as she must have felt very awkward after you said that after your first kiss.

You asked how to win her around and show her you're serious? Well you haven't told us how you broke up with her and what you said to her about the reasons why or what the situation is since then so it's impossible to give you any advice really without any kind of details?

Airyfairy12

Youve already hurt her. You knew she was holding back because of bad experiences in a previous relationship so you dumped her because you didnt like the way she kissed..yet you love her?? This is very messed up on your part. It sounds like you only want her when you cant have her and discard her when she doesnt do what you want. She didnt 'lie' to you, its not like she went off with someone behind your back or stole your credit card. She was uncomfortable. This sounds ego driven and selfish. She's not yours to be won. Leave her alone, she's been through enough and youre far too immature to be getting involved with someone who has kids. This has drama and too much work written all over it.

Tigger99

So you don't want another relationship devoid of passion and yet you want to be with someone that won't use tongues when snogging? God that's more than half the fun of snogging.

If shes uncomfortable over snogging I'm guessing that she wasn't overly comfortable with sex either?

Either way, you dumped her and she's entitled to not want you again. Also trying to make someone trust you after their previous experience is a losing game. They can only heal in their own time.

Eircom_Sucks

Gonna leave this here ok , my fault for not putting the whole story up , but im on a phone and not writing a novel

Neyite

Sounds like the both of you are battle scarred from previous relationships, so it could be that you breaking up with her over something seemingly so trivial has got her concerned that you might have a habit of that.

She's cautious, so all you can do is try to explain and if she says she's not interested then accept that you messed it up and leave her be.

You have the right like certain things in a relationship, but she also has the right to not like doing certain acts and be respected for her right to say no on those.

I hope if she does have feelings for you that you manage to work it out.