Turning 40 ?

LegacyUser

Hi in a little over a year I'll be 40. Pretty hard to believe. The decade when the body starts to break down and I become officially 'middle aged'. It's hard to believe that I am about to become 'Middle Aged' and become part of an 'older age group'. What was it like for others ? Was there a crisis ? How did you adapt to viewing yourself as 'being older' ?. People generally assume that I'm in my early 30's, I genuinely look and in many ways feel a bit younger. Career has never really worked out , nor relationships and it's difficult to 'turn the ship around now'.

Just wondering how did it go for others ?

Thanks

Emme

Philadelphia-40 wrote: »

Hi in a little over a year I'll be 40. Pretty hard to believe. The decade when the body starts to break down and I become officially 'middle aged'. It's hard to believe that I am about to become 'Middle Aged' and become part of an 'older age group'. What was it like for others ? Was there a crisis ? How did you adapt to viewing yourself as 'being older' ?. People generally assume that I'm in my early 30's, I genuinely look and in many ways feel a bit younger. Career has never really worked out , nor relationships and it's difficult to 'turn the ship around now'.

Just wondering how did it go for others ?

Thanks

Are you male or female? I think turning 40 can be harder for women due to the pressure to look young. It's especially difficult for a woman if she is single. Men may also find turning 40 difficult but there isn't the same pressure to look young and be in a relationship.

You say it's the decade when the body starts to break down. You may not be able to play sport at the same level as in your early 20s but if you eat well and exercise regularly there is no reason for the body to break down.

If your career hasn't worked out could you go back to college or do a course at night?

Hitman3000

Philadelphia-40 wrote:

Hi in a little over a year I'll be 40. Pretty hard to believe. The decade when the body starts to break down and I become officially 'middle aged'. It's hard to believe that I am about to become 'Middle Aged' and become part of an 'older age group'. What was it like for others ? Was there a crisis ? How did you adapt to viewing yourself as 'being older' ?. People generally assume that I'm in my early 30's, I genuinely look and in many ways feel a bit younger. Career has never really worked out , nor relationships and it's difficult to 'turn the ship around now'.

I'm 45 now, enjoying life more now than 20 years ago. I'm male decided to fight the 'spread' 2 years ago through running. Fitter, faster and healthier than some people half my age. It is but a number embrace it.

murphyebass

Get over it !

mfceiling

When I hit 40 I got kidney stones, root canal and a fecked up elbow. Oh and did I mention my hernia!!

Seriously it's only a number. Though I must say that Steve Coogan made a point of finding "older" women very attractive as you get older and it's true...you see ladies who are older than you in a new light!!

Airyfairy12

I don't think 40 is viewed as old or middle aged anymore. When I think of 40+ year old women I think of Sali Hughes, Lisa Eldridge, Samantha Chapman, Mary Greenwell, Dita Von Teese - All glamorous, gorgeous and youthful women. I dont know if youre male or female but it doesnt matter because the point still stands.

You can still start your career, if you wanted to go to University youd be finished by age 45 and you'd be working for over 20 years before youd reach retirement.

guppy

I act way too young, I refuse to give up my childish ways. I'm 40 next year, a grandma, but screw it all, I'm loving my life.

I have kids I love and adore, and at least one of them feels the same (the other hates cleaning his room and getting his hair cut).

My job is fine, not anything I love, but hey.

After that, bills are paid, I dance, so far, life is good.

I may feel differently closer to 40 though :-(

Bambi985

I think hitting these milestone birthdays can be all the more difficult when you're not happy with your life, as you appear not to be.

Why has "that ship sailed" when it comes to your career and relationship status? True enough that it's harder to change when you're that bit older and more jaded, it requires a bit more brain power and daily check-ins with yourself, but you must not want it THAT much if you're not even willing to turn things around based on an arbitrary number! Think about that a bit more. You get to either sit on your arse and b1tch and moan about life not working out "the way you planned" or you get to work hard at changing the circumstances that are making you unhappy - pick a side and stay there.

Nothing is easy in life and for some it's more difficult than for others. There's nothing wrong with not having the big career or marriage-with-kids thing by 40, by 50, by any age really. But what can you do to improve how you feel about yourself?

Sausage dog

I think for many people they feel they will have their lives sorted by forty....accommodation, job, relationships etc. But for many when they reach forty one or all of these things are in turmoil. It just happens to be the way things have transpired. Don't beat yourself up about it if that's the way it is for you. Things may have been great at 36, or 38 & went pear-shaped since or maybe you haven't yet reached those dizzying g heights of greatnessðŸ˜. Reaching 40 is just a number that some people put far too much emphasis on. Enjoy your birthday, it's a good excuse for a celebration & sometimes that's exactly what we need.

Aglomerado

I'm turning 40 next week. I'm fecking off to Carcassonne for 3 days with a friend. When I turned 30 I went to Electric Picnic. So I want to remember this one too!

I don't pay a lot of attention to my birthday. I might take it off work if I feel like it. No interest in parties even though there have been a succession of 40th invitations from my old school friends recently. I don't want one, I've never had a party and couldn't start now.

Since a car accident a couple of years ago (which I escaped with only bruising luckily enough) I'm hell bent on enjoying my life and have spent nearly €200 on concert tickets this week alone!!!

People often think I'm much younger than I am.... because of my daft sense of humour!

Remember the Baz Luhrmann song "Class of 99" OP. "The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't".

So embrace it and most of all have fun!!

uck51js9zml2yt

When I turned 40 I met my wife, got married and had kids.

GaGa21

I turn 40 next year and am looking forward to it as it's a milestone birthday so there will be celebrations. But usually I dread it and can be quite down on the day. Part of it is I have no kids yet and my biological clock ticks louder each year. The other part is the loss of youth as in the fun, party, careless side of me slips away bit by bit.
Then I read a quote today...
"You'll never be as young again as you are today"
And it made me realise that I am actually young...right now....today. And to enjoy every bit of it while I am, instead of wishing it away.

jester77

I'm 40 this year and never gave it a second thought. It's just a number that is nicely rounded off. I don't feel any different to last year or the years previously, have 1 or 2 gray hairs starting to appear on the chin but that's it. Still play football, still competitive, still go out partying until all hours. Don't think about these numbers so much, just enjoy the short time we have here.

chuckles30

I'm 41 (female)....I don't feel old or middle aged. Still single - just hasn't happened - but I never say never. Haven't had any additional health problems since turning 40.....apart from a longer recovery time from hangovers....but that kicked in at 30....and the odd grey hair

I've been told that I'd pass for being in 30's no problem...so I'll take that any day :)

Careerwise, I'm not career minded per-se and never have been. I have a job that I'm happy enough doing...until I win the lotto or I'm forced to move on. I don't live to work...I work to live :)

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

stuboy01

am turning 41 soon, it's just a number. I still feel 21.
My wife would say I act 21 most of the time, while rolling her eyes.
It's all about how you approach life, it's a constant journey and you're never too old to change direction or continue learning.
enjoy it.

kerryjack

Late forties myself, have young kids enjoy spending time with them, child number 2 arrived a week after my fourtied birthday two more sense so getting old isn't an option, do something mad for your birthday take 3 months off and travel the world.

jamesthepeach

When I hit 40 I decide to get fit and it worked really well. Slimmed down, could run 10km without getting out of breath, felt strong.
42 knee started getting dodgy.
42 couldn't drink a pi t without getting serious Indegestion.
43 elbow got dodgy.
43 Hernia.
43 migraines started
43 started pulling muscles in legs, back, shoulders doing nothing .

Never been to a doctor or sick a day before the age of 42. Two operations and 10s of visits to specialists etc . Thousands in medical bills.

Yep, it's the decade the body starts to break down alright.

Don't expect, or put pressure on, yourself to enjoy life as much as a 10, 15, 20, 25 year old etc. is capable of.

Instead, try to enjoy life as much as is possible for a 40 year old, accepting the realities of the differences between being that age and being younger ages eg. fitness limitations, increased responsibilities, probably less time left to live and being mentally distanced from your youth etc.

If by doing this you end up being in the most content 5% of 40 year olds (for talk sake) this might be comparable in some subjective sense to being in the most content 20% of 20 year olds etc.

It's a bit like an athlete trying to get fit at age 30 - if they were in the top 5% fitness-wise for their age, they might be comparable to the top 30% of 17 year olds for talk sake. They aim to be the best they can for their age, rather than equivilant to someone much younger, but in the process they end up being equivilant or better than a lot of people younger than them anyway.

Summary : Try to be the most content 40 year old you can be - it could be subjectively as good as being a moderately content teenager.