Sudden anxiousness in cars

Sunny Dayz

Only very recently on two occasions in the past few weeks I have felt very anxious in the front passenger seat of a car. I had no reason to be anxious or scared, the car wasn't been driven dangerously. It's a car and a driver I'm very familiar with and have never had this problem in the past. First time I experienced it we were going on a long journey along national roads. There were no causes for alarm but I just felt very nervous and spent a lot of the time chatting to the driver or looking at my phone to distract myself. I wouldn't normally browse my phone in the car as reading in a moving vehicle makes me feel unwell. I wasn't too bad on the journey home.
The second time was last weekend on a motorway journey. I was nearly scared to look at the traffic, again chatting to the driver, browsing my phone, passing comments on other cars on the road, anything to distract myself and to pass the journey as quickly as possible. The journey home I sat in the back seat and was ok.


I've never been like this before. I've been on journeys between and since those incidents and been fine. And I've been fine while driving myself.


The anxiety I've been feeling is of loss of control. But I've never been in a car accident. I had one incident many years ago with a spin on black ice, was nervous for a short while after but got over it. I did witness a single car accident a number of months ago, but everyone was ok, the safety features in the car were testament to that and bar feeling a little shook after, I felt fine and hadn't really given it much thought since then.


I don't really know what has brought on this sudden anxiety in the passenger seat of a car or what I can do about it.

GingerLily

I was in a minor accident 6 weeks ago and I'm having this problem too, I keep seeing the car crashing into everything, I'm not sure of its aniexty but it's a very different feeling to the other stress I've been feeling lately (getting married in two weeks so I've a lot on my plate).
I was hoping to take my test soon but I'm out of practice and now I am terrified of the idea of driving again.

Sorry I know this isn't helpful to you OP, just wanted you to know you're now alone

B0jangles

Are you particularly stressed at the moment about anything else going on in your life?

I've experienced weird anxiety about fairly random things in the past and it happened at a time when I was extremely stressed and unhappy in my job; I think stress can sometime just latch on to something, anything as a vent to release the pressure.

Spirogyra

I'd wonder also whether you were stressed before you got in the car ? A fast day, without much of a break maybe ?, all go ? I've a similar 'problem' , a lot of the time, are you familiar with Mindfulness ? which will at least 'slow the brain down ?'.... and help you relax ?. If your more relaxed in general, then it's less likely you feel anxious in cars too....

Full Marx

Try sitting in the back seat

Foweva Awone

I get this too OP, generally at times when my General Anxiety Disorder is flared up.

Do you drive yourself at all? Sometimes I find it helps if I swap positions with the driver, I guess it makes me feel more like I've some control. (Other times it can make things worse, just depends on the day!)

Sitting in the back seat almost always helps me, although the driver generally gives out about feeling like my chauffeur!

Also might be worth trying download a phone app (there are millions!) of things like meditation, affirmations, etc and listening to them on headphones. Or even just put some relaxing music on your phone and sit back with your eyes closed and listen to it.

You could try that Bachs Rescue Remedy stuff too, never tried it but it's meant to be good, only problem is it would be a pain in the arse if you ended up relying on it for every journey!!

Spirogyra

Anxiety has interfered with my life massively especially around travelling....Rescue Remedy helped me travel 100 miles to my Grandmothers funeral. I'd have missed it otherwise. It's not addictive and it can help to build confidence and act as a reassurance just by having it. But try to relax, learn mindfulness techniques for general day to day life, is the best bet I think.

Sunny Dayz

Thanks a mil for the replies, wasn't expecting such help - I was expecting more along the lines of "you're imagining things" or "you're over-reacting!"


I did have a big event coming up at the time, but I didn't feel stressed about it, more nervous excitement.
Life is stressful, with working full time, raising a child, running a household, life in general, it's just normal life stress though.


It's all be short journeys since. And I've been driving most of them. Not had any problems since. But I've 2 long journeys coming up in the next few weeks and one of them is a repeat of one of the journeys I was panicky on so we shall see. I'll see how I am on those journeys and depending on how those go, I'll consider a mindfulness app. I've tried Bach's recuse remedy many years ago when I was very stressed in a previous job but I think it's just a placebo.

Spirogyra

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

<Snip> Post is just there ^.

Mindfulness it's worth noting does not have to be 'in a darkened room' with your eyes closed. It can be at the dinner table, consciously 'tasting' your food. smelling the air, become aware of the chair holding you up, of the clothes on your body, listening to the clock or sensations in your hand, feed or fingers etc, just stopping and tuning in to these things, for a few minutes on a regular basis will help to lower general anxiety levels , heart rate and blood pressure.

Lux23

I get this occasionally, there is generally no reason for it so I can't really offer any advice except to try and distract yourself in some way.

ShaShaBear

Can I ask how old your child is?

Being in a car never bothered me. Before I got pregnant with my first, I was actually learning to drive and was doing rather well according to my husband. As soon as I got home with my daughter three years ago, I made all the excuses under the sun to avoid getting behind the wheel. One evening, I was forced to drive my husband and daughter home (a 2-minute drive tops in my home town where I was extremely familiar with the roads) and I had to bite back tears from being so terrified. Since having my second daughter, whose now 2, I find myself being incredibly anxious and jumpy even being a passenger in a car - even with my husband driving (and he's never been in an accident and has admittedly god-like reflexes when it comes to the car). I see a car overtaking coming towards us on our side of the road - it could be a bloody mile away and I start to sweat. My husband won't even overtake traffic when I'm in the car now. I never say anything but he told me he could see me shaking and gripping the seat. People parked at the side of the road getting out of their cars, people walking out of a shop and straight across the road, loose animals etc - anything that could cause an accident has me on edge. I put it down to being terrified of the kids being killed, or us being totally wiped out on the road. The realization of my own mortality, I guess!

We had a near miss a year ago on the way to Temple Street with my youngest. We were a few cars back at a red light and a bus in the lane beside us. He started to switch to our lane and was about an inch from driving clean over us only for a garda car turned on sirens when he saw what was going to happen. I didn't think much of it at the time other than the usual anger and road rage of people not looking at what they're doing, but I can see now it made me realise how easy it is to be in an accident, even if you are an excellent driver!

AllForIt

Oh I've had this on occasion. Couple of times I wanted to stop and get out of the car. Anyway it doesn't happen me often. When it does I just tell myself the car isn't any more likely to crash just because I'm anxious - so I suppose I'm telling myself I'm being irrational and need to chill out.

Malayalam

This may seem like a weird take.
I don't think being anxious in a car is irrational. A moving car is a dangerous place, and I often think that a person catapulted forward in time from a hundred years ago or so to the passenger or drivers seat of a moving car would scream their head off non-stop. In fact what has happened is we have in general acclimatised ourselves to traveling at speed in cars and suppressed a natural and rational anxiety to moving at speed in a mechanical object in order to cope with what is now our normal modern life. I think anxiety rears its head when that somewhat irrational acclimatisation wears thin or the veil lifts for one reason or another - we may have had an accident, we may have heard a story about someone else in an accident, we may be in some other existentially demanding state in our lives. Suddenly we see the truth of the situation of driving or being driven and we feel nervous because of our realisation of danger and mortality. Therapists might call this hyperalertness or some other made up word that undermines / stigmatises the reality of the view.

Solutions?
Cultivating bravery. We are capable of extreme bravery. Getting up every day and going forward is brave. Getting into a car is brave. Being cheerful in spite of one's anxiety is brave.
And accepting fully the precariousness of life, ie accepting death. It's the fundamental root.

Sunny Dayz

Thanks again for replies. I think it's to do with control, the speed of cars and others on the road. I've been fine driving myself but they've been on local roads. I had to do some motorway driving last week by myself and I was a bit nervous. The motorway was quiet though so I built myself up with the speed. I was nervous overtaking in the fast lane but it all went fine. Then at the weekend we had a journey which involved national roads and motorway. I was fine on the national roads but nervous on the motorway as a passenger. I just tried to concentrate on what exits were coming up and looking at my phone otherwise.
The journey back was fine cos there was a change of drivers and cars and I ended up driving back on my own and was completely fine.
I just feel silly and scared now that I'm overthinking it.

B0jangles

What Malayam said above reminded me of the anxiety I used to feel in the car when I was a kid and we were driving home after the summer holidays - every year we spent about 6 weeks living on a boat, which meant I didn't go anywhere faster than about 6 miles an hour. The car drive home felt insanely fast by comparison and it usually took a couple of car trips for me to get used to it again. It sounds like you've had a sort of similar feeling in the transition from smaller roads/lower speeds to high speeds on the motorway. Don't feel silly though, it's just your brain adapting to an unfamiliar and possibly dangerous situation as well as it can