Obsessed with weight

mellowbeard

So I lost 3 stone over the last year, and I felt absolutely great doing it! I lost it in a healthy way, just by cutting out bad foods and doing more exercise. I'm still quite a curvy girl and have continued to lead a healthy lifestyle. However, I find I am becoming obsessed with food and with my weight. While I have not taken this obsession to drastic measures, I just feel like it's always on mind.
When I first reached my target weight, I'd allow myself treats and wouldn't feel bad for doing so. However, lately I can't eat any sort of "bad" food, without feeling horribly guilty!
My question is to anyone who has experienced something similar, does obsession subside? Or will it always be there?

cazzer22

mellowbeard wrote: »

So I lost 3 stone over the last year, and I felt absolutely great doing it! I lost it in a healthy way, just by cutting out bad foods and doing more exercise. I'm still quite a curvy girl and have continued to lead a healthy lifestyle. However, I find I am becoming obsessed with food and with my weight. While I have not taken this obsession to drastic measures, I just feel like it's always on mind.
When I first reached my target weight, I'd allow myself treats and wouldn't feel bad for doing so. However, lately I can't eat any sort of "bad" food, without feeling horribly guilty!
My question is to anyone who has experienced something similar, does obsession subside? Or will it always be there?

Hi OP. Well done on the three stone and maintaining your weight loss. It's important once you've put in the hard work to lose the weight to still keep a focus on it. Have you tried having a 'treat night' where you can have whatever you like? Sometimes, if you know that that's coming up you won't feel guilty because you know the very next day you'll be back on it. It's also important to remember that when you're being active you can have the odd treat because you're going to be working it off (within reason). I find that has really worked for me because if I cut out everything I enjoy, it's going to be completely pointless and not healthy. Remind yourself that every treat you deserve and every day is a new day to start again if you go overboard. You've worked so hard. Enjoy the treats and maintain a balance.

I definitely believe obsession can subside, it's your mindset that you need to adjust. Fill your mind with positive thoughts about food like 'I've had three really healthy, nutritious days I can allow myself a treat'. It's all about balance. I heard a guy on the radio who runs a gym basically preaching about 80/20 (i.e. 80 percent healthy foods, 20 percent treats). It definitely works for me and it's guilt free because you've maintained that balance. It's so much more enjoyable that way.

cazzer22

Also, just a thought, but do you own a weighing scales? I bought one when I was on my weight loss journey and became a little obsessed, so I've decided not to use it for the time being or only do it on certain days. Just to keep an eye on it and try and maintain my weight.

mellowbeard

cazzer22 wrote: »

Hi OP. Well done on the three stone and maintaining your weight loss. It's important once you've put in the hard work to lose the weight to still keep a focus on it. Have you tried having a 'treat night' where you can have whatever you like? Sometimes, if you know that that's coming up you won't feel guilty because you know the very next day you'll be back on it. It's also important to remember that when you're being active you can have the odd treat because you're going to be working it off (within reason). I find that has really worked for me because if I cut out everything I enjoy, it's going to be completely pointless and not healthy. Remind yourself that every treat you deserve and every day is a new day to start again if you go overboard. You've worked so hard. Enjoy the treats and maintain a balance.

I definitely believe obsession can subside, it's your mindset that you need to adjust. Fill your mind with positive thoughts about food like 'I've had three really healthy, nutritious days I can allow myself a treat'. It's all about balance. I heard a guy on the radio who runs a gym basically preaching about 80/20 (i.e. 80 percent healthy foods, 20 percent treats). It definitely works for me and it's guilt free because you've maintained that balance. It's so much more enjoyable that way.

Hi Cazzer!
Thanks so much for your reply, really means a lot to hear from you!
I agree with the treat night, I used to do one when I was in thick of losing weight but seem to have stopped it. It's great to be reminded about it!
Re the obsession, it's really nice to hear that you think it'll subside. I really do hope so. Your tips will definitely be kept in mind, so hopefully they'll help.
Thanks again 😊

Addle

I've been there OP and honestly, I think you have to be obsesssed to succeed when you're trying to lose a lot of weight.
It's not always a bad thing.
Remember weight watchers and slimming worlders track everything they eat. People use apps to count calories.

mellowbeard

cazzer22 wrote: »

Also, just a thought, but do you own a weighing scales? I bought one when I was on my weight loss journey and became a little obsessed, so I've decided not to use it for the time being or only do it on certain days. Just to keep an eye on it and try and maintain my weight.

I do have a scales! I find I'm checking it up to three times a day. It's definitely feeding my obsession. However, (I might be making this up), but I feel if I don't check my weight every single day, that I'm inclined to put more on?

cazzer22

mellowbeard wrote: »

Hi Cazzer!
Thanks so much for your reply, really means a lot to hear from you!
I agree with the treat night, I used to do one when I was in thick of losing weight but seem to have stopped it. It's great to be reminded about it!
Re the obsession, it's really nice to hear that you think it'll subside. I really do hope so. Your tips will definitely be kept in mind, so hopefully they'll help.
Thanks again ��

It's normal to care about your weight, but don't let it rule you. It's a number and doesn't define you. You've done so well and just remember how far you've come.

cazzer22

mellowbeard wrote: »

I do have a scales! I find I'm checking it up to three times a day. It's definitely feeding my obsession. However, (I might be making this up), but I feel if I don't check my weight every single day, that I'm inclined to put more on?

Are you doing any sort of a programme for weight loss or is it your own thing? I weigh in each Wednesday as part of a group and I find that I might weigh myself the odd time before the weigh in to get an idea of where I'm at. Your body can fluctuate in weight by up to 7 pounds during the day, so when you're weighing yourself three times a day, it's not accurate. You might be beating yourself up because you're up and down, but it's totally normal.
I really would suggest ditching the scales for now and choosing a week day at a particular time to weigh yourself. Then you're not obsessing over it and it will give you motivation to work towards that particular day.

mellowbeard

Cazzer22, I'm just doing my own weight loss! Tried slimming world and found it didn't work for me.
A once a week weigh in sounds like a good idea. It'll be hard, but it sounds like it'll work to help break the obsession. My only fear is that if I've crept back up on the scales, that I'll go back to the obsessive weighing!
Your advice is really good though, thanks again! So nice to hear from people who understand

fineso.mom

Sometimes it takes our mind a while to catch up with our bodies. I have a friend who lost a lot of weight and few years ago. We went shopping for an outfit for a wedding. It was the first time she'd gone shopping since she had lost weight. All her clothes were loose /elasticated type stuff. She kept picking up dresses that were many sizes too big and passing by lovely fitted dresses because she didn't think they would fit. Eventually she was convinced to try on a size 10 which fit her perfectly and she was dumbfounded.
We talked about it after and she figured she'd be overweight so long that, even though the scales said she was smaller her mind hadn't accepted it yet.
Maybe you just need to get used to the fact that you are a healthy weight now and can afford a few treats .
And definitely stop weighing yourself constantly. If you are eating healthily and your clothes fit you're fine.

mellowbeard

fineso.mom wrote: »

Sometimes it takes our mind a while to catch up with our bodies. I have a friend who lost a lot of weight and few years ago. We went shopping for an outfit for a wedding. It was the first time she'd gone shopping since she had lost weight. All her clothes were loose /elasticated type stuff. She kept picking up dresses that were many sizes too big and passing by lovely fitted dresses because she didn't think they would fit. Eventually she was convinced to try on a size 10 which fit her perfectly and she was dumbfounded.
We talked about it after and she figured she'd be overweight so long that, even though the scales said she was smaller her mind hadn't accepted it yet.
Maybe you just need to get used to the fact that you are a healthy weight now and can afford a few treats .
And definitely stop weighing yourself constantly. If you are eating healthily and your clothes fit you're fine.

Thanks for your reply! Hahaha I've been through the same ordeal as your friend. That is actually a very good point, which I wasn't thinking about. Weight loss is very psychological so it makes sense that it might take a while for me to accept that I can treat myself

December2012

Do you exercise? Maybe you would feel more relaxed if you exercised? That way you can move your progress from the scales to a personal achievement, e.g.doing another 5 minutes on the treadmill, increasing your personal best in weightlifting, another few lengths in the pool?

Airyfairy12

Theres an eating disorder called orthorexia, it's basically an obsession with weight, healthy food and 'clean eating' (I hate that term). Eating unhealthy foods can cause guilt and even anxiety. I'm not suggesting you have this disorder, im obviously not a doctor but if you research it maybe you could find good tips and advice about moving past food/weight obsession and the guilt you associate with unhealthy foods.

mellowbeard

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Theres an eating disorder called orthorexia, it's basically an obsession with weight, healthy food and 'clean eating' (I hate that term). Eating unhealthy foods can cause guilt and even anxiety. I'm not suggesting you have this disorder, im obviously not a doctor but if you research it maybe you could find good tips and advice about moving past food/weight obsession and the guilt you associate with unhealthy foods.

That's interesting. I do sometimes wonder if my obsession is sort of an eating disorder. It's not that I only eat "clean foods" (hate the term as well), it's just the guilt that I feel when I do eat bad foods is overwhelming. I will definitely look into those tips however. Thanks!

Bambi985

mellowbeard wrote: »

That's interesting. I do sometimes wonder if my obsession is sort of an eating disorder. It's not that I only eat "clean foods" (hate the term as well), it's just the guilt that I feel when I do eat bad foods is overwhelming. I will definitely look into those tips however. Thanks!

Be careful that this doesn't turn into something more sinister. This sort of weight and food obsession can be a slippery slope. My problems started when an innocent 'diet' went so far that I couldn't even look sideways at "bad" foods, started weighing myself multiple times a day and my mood for the day would be dictated by what it said.

My advice would be to throw the scales away and focus on the more important aspects of good health - feeling mentally well and emotionally stable, eating a good balanced diet but allowing yourself to indulge on occasion, being physically fit and at peace with your own body. Congratulate yourself for losing the weight but give your goals a do-over. Why not turn that "have to hit X weight" into "want to run X half marathon" or "want to be strong enough to hit the gym three times a week" or "want to eat all of my 5-a-day everyday"? I think aiming for a "goal weight" can be dangerous territory once the obsession sets in and what's more, it's not indicative of good health. At my "goal weight" I was a bag of misery who was plagued with anxiety, insecurity, major calorie-counting OCD and had no social life. It's not a good measure. Find some healthier goals away from the scales.

And the obvious one - avoid all the social media #fitfam crap. Instagram is riddled with that orthorexia disorder another poster mentioned and some of the daily food intakes you see from "instagram fitness models" (who often have photoshopped themselves and taken advantage of good lighting to look unrealistically slim are scary and quite triggering, if you're on a weight loss journey yourself. Don't compare yourself to anyone.

tkd93

I second the advice about throwing the scales away. I find focusing on the number to be unhealthy as it can be influenced by so many factors both positive and negative - gaining muscle, drinking more water etc. What I like to do is I set a size of clothes I want to be able to fit in. As long as I can still fit in those clothes then I am all good.

Katgurl

Hi OP,

I can relate. Losing weight successfully and seeing your body get better and better is such a thrill and yet so scary in case you lose it again.

My advice is to turn that focus elsewhere.

Become a really good cook and become nutritionally savvy instead of calorie obsessed.
Put the scales under the bed and only take out once a fortnight or month.
Find a sport, exercise class, martial arts or fitness class you really love. Running is a great place to start as you need very little equipment and can sign up straightaway for an event. I remember completing my first half marathon - i felt like i had brought home an olympic gold medal.

Remind yourself you want to be slim, fit and healthy for life. This will not be achieved unless you find a way to LIVE with your programme. Even if (worst case) you weighed after a month and you had gained 10lbs (this won't happen) you will lose it again and be able to reflect on how it happened; perhaps portion sizes were too big.

Best of luck.

miamee

As everyone else has said, weighing in 3 times per day is not useful and is not reflective of your weightloss. Once per week at most, on the same day and at the same time (first thing when you get up for example) is a good idea.

The suggestion to have a 'treat night' is also good instead of feeling guilty every time you eat something you view as 'bad'. It might be worth using an app like MyFitnessPal or Noom Coach to track your foods. I found when I was losing weight myself that sometimes I was surprised that the foods I thought of as bad weren't always that bad and some foods I thought would be ok were actually worse! So it helps to be informed instead of guessing.

Riskymove

as others have said it is easy to focus only on weight when trying to lose weight/change body

try and look at other indicators....measure your self and monitor loss of inches, see how clothes fit better or have become too big for you, measure how fast you are walking/running and track improvements etc

mellowbeard

Hi everyone!
Thanks so much for all the replies, the advice sounds really good and I am determined to focus on a more healthy lifestyle rather than a number on the scales.
I didn't weigh myself this morning (first time in months!) and am really going to try heed everyone's advice. I've also decided to have a chat with my old counsellor re this all, to help me accept myself again.
Thanks again for everyone's advice, it really means a lot