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Good looking introvert v average looking extrovert: which is better?
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15-08-2017 4:49pm#1
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59144
Eh.. that's the usual "introverts are more thoughtful" and just as lazy a definition as the confidence/no confidence angle(though usually suggested by introverts). You do realise one can talk and think at the same time?HalloweenJack wrote: »A very basic definition that I would work off (and it's far from perfect) is extroverts speak before they think and introverts think before they speak but that's far from definitive, more a simplistic guide.
Again with the "introverts" idea of extrovert = bad/not so good, introverts better.Being an extrovert seems to be more popular because they are more vocal (its in their nature) while introverts don't tend to go on about things (as is their nature).
You don't say...as I'm an introvert myself
I'd agree there.Extroversion and introversion has nothing to do with being interesting and/or boring, that's something totally different.
For me the introvert/extrovert definitions are self diagnostic, lazy and inaccurate. If I was to look for a broad "definition"? I would say extroverts get energy from other people, introverts are drained of energy by people. Even there it's not accurate. EG most people who know or have met me would call me an extrovert, even an extreme example of same. However I need me time to recharge. I can't be around people 24/7, a few hours is about my limit and then I'm drained. On the definition above I'd be an "introvert".
As for which is better? Well if someone is so "introverted" they rarely interact with other people then they're on a hiding to nothing. Especially with men as they do most of the approaching in the dating/mating game. That's the extreme though. What is better in general? Not really giving a care about how individual interactions with a particular woman goes. If it works out the fine, but no harm no foul if it doesn't. Ever wonder why men seem to see more attention from women when they're already in a relationship, or when they've say just broken up with someone and they really couldn't be arsed? That's mostly why. The guy isn't so outcome focussed.Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59144
Maybe, though a fair few studies would tend to disagree. The usual way they run the test is to take individual photos/videos of a selection of people in relationships and get others to rate them for attractiveness. The usual result is you get a 6 is with another 6, an 8 is with another 8* and so forth. Large disparities in attractiveness are the minority and when they occur other factors like the status/wealth of the man are in play. Looking back at my own relationships(anything beyond a flingette) we were pretty equal in the looks/attractiveness department. No outliers involved. Looking at friends relationships the same general principle was in play too. With flingettes it varied more alright. I have observed - and more with men - that they see their partner as "out of their league", but that's love for you.There's no such thing as "leagues" anyway. You see couples every day where there's a huge disparity in looks.
To outsiders not so much. I knew one guy and one gal in my time where they did do better than expected. On the looks front anyway(they were both very charismatic types), but they were the only ones.
Well I suppose it's a label attached to people who are being friends with the object of their affection in the hope of a romantic relationship and the object of their affection doesn't want that. So in that sense it exists.It's like the friendzone, just another concept made up by people who've been knocked back to try and make themselves feel better.
*NB I don't like the out of ten rating system at all, but for the want of a better alternative..Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Maybe, though a fair few studies would tend to disagree. The usual way they run the test is to take individual photos/videos of a selection of people in relationships and get others to rate them for attractiveness. The usual result is you get a 6 is with another 6, an 8 is with another 8* and so forth. Large disparities in attractiveness are the minority and when they occur other factors like the status/wealth of the man are in play. Looking back at my own relationships(anything beyond a flingette) we were pretty equal in the looks/attractiveness department. No outliers involved. Looking at friends relationships the same general principle was in play too. With flingettes it varied more alright. I have observed - and more with men - that they see their partner as "out of their league", but that's love for you. To outsiders not so much. I knew one guy and one gal in my time where they did do better than expected. On the looks front anyway(they were both very charismatic types), but they were the only ones.
Well I suppose it's a label attached to people who are being friends with the object of their affection in the hope of a romantic relationship and the object of their affection doesn't want that. So in that sense it exists.
*NB I don't like the out of ten rating system at all, but for the want of a better alternative..
Well in that case i'm very happy to agree with you
Now i'm off to inform people i am infact very attractive and not just average like i previously thought :pac:0 -
Airyfairy12 wrote: »'Test you a bit' Maybe theyre just not into you and 'leagues' dont come into it. You seem to have notions about women thinking they're above men trying to test and manipulate them. That isnt true, also most women really dont mind being single into their 30's, 40's + ..its far better than settling for someone youre not interested in and dont feel compatible with.
These women that youre assuming thought they were out of your league, it sounds like they just weren't into you, for whatever reason.. and youve twisted it into some fault in the women.
Have you never had a woman attracted to you but you didnt feel the same way about her? Now imagine that woman held a grudge against you for not requiting those feelings. Made up notions about you having standards too high?
And to be fair Ive often heard average men criticise very attractive girls for having boobs too small, too much makeup, not enough makeup, not curvy enough, too fat, too skinny. Women are expected to look like Barbie dolls and Kim Kardashian lookalikes for men who can't even be bothered to shave.
Why was i quoted
I disagreed with him
I agree with you, i definitely dont think women are some magical creatures trying to control us0 -
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Middle Man wrote: »Ok to start with your situation, I'm very glad that both your and your other half are mature enough to have worked out a settlement in the aftermath of separation thereby avoiding the costly mud slinging exercise through the courts - that must be complimented. We all make mistakes, but the real measure of personal worth is in how we deal with our mistakes.
Cheers for that MM, but the bit in bold there, that's what's sort of confusing me I guess about your position. It's like, you're suggesting that Irish men should avoid relationships with women and avoid marriage and having children, as though it would be a mistake for a man to get married, let alone to have children. Yet how would you expect young people to grow and learn and mature, if you're encouraging young men to avoid even just the risk or the possibility of making what you might consider to be a mistake?
(I don't think either my choice to marry or to have children was a mistake for me personally tbh, but I can understand why you might take the view that it was a mistake, certainly my parents thought so at the time and branded my wife a "gold digger", etc... You'd have been in good company MM
)Middle Man wrote: »On the issue of your perception of me as a poster, I get the impression that you think I'm a misogynist in general and that I'm just hyping the presence of misandry.
Ahh no, not at all. That whole 'misogynist' stuff gets thrown around far too easily, as does the term 'misandryst' or 'misandry'. That's why I don't particularly care either for this idea you're pushing that young men should avoid relationships with women for 'fear' of being manipulated and all the rest of it. The reason I use the word 'fear' in inverted commas there is because I think the whole MGTOW stuff is basically an attempt by some men to claim a pyrrhic victory over women.
The 'movement' is in it's essence a way for those men to claim that they *really* have the power over both men and women because they see society for what it *really* is. They're more than welcome to go their own way IMO because it's not as though they were ever likely to contribute much towards society in the first place, because they appear to me to be all about their own needs and their own wants, and what they are due from society and from women, and if only society would conform to their ideals, *everyone* would be happy.
I don't see them as any different from the same minority of extremist feminists who have their own ideas for society, and if only society would conform to their ideals, everyone would be happy. The thing is though, that both fringe elements in society, both polar opposite extremists, appear to be utterly miserable, and ironically of course - misery loves company. If their ideas had any positive merit whatever, neither group should feel the need to descend to the identity politics of victimhood.Middle Man wrote: »The guy pulls no punches, but is very fair, inclusive and balanced at the same time!
I'd a look at a couple of his videos MM, he's not the worst, but I won't be contributing to his Patreon any time soon either tbh. It's just more of the same MGTOW bollocks IMO.0 -
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One eyed Jack wrote: »Cheers for that MM, but the bit in bold there, that's what's sort of confusing me I guess about your position. It's like, you're suggesting that Irish men should avoid relationships with women and avoid marriage and having children, as though it would be a mistake for a man to get married, let alone to have children. Yet how would you expect young people to grow and learn and mature, if you're encouraging young men to avoid even just the risk or the possibility of making what you might consider to be a mistake?
(I don't think either my choice to marry or to have children was a mistake for me personally tbh, but I can understand why you might take the view that it was a mistake, certainly my parents thought so at the time and branded my wife a "gold digger", etc... You'd have been in good company MM)
No, the 'mistake' I'm referring to is what is in real terms a mutual misadventure regarding both you and your other half - you both thought you were right for each other, but things obviously didn't turn out that way. It's the sort of thing that happens in life all the time - what I was actually saying was that you both seem to have dealt with the separation maturely and that it is a good example regarding the the measure of how people deal with their mistakes. The issue of whether men should go their own way or not is in a general context - I would have no business specifically telling you what to do in your personal life. Hope this clears things up!0 -
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