Advice

Hildablue

Sorry for the rant but a 37 year old female who has never been in a long term relationship- I've tried all the usual recommendations about joining new activties etc- Joined some meet up groups last year and a musical society to put myself out there! I've never felt a real connection with an individual- have considered that I might be a lesbian-but nothing there either. All my friends are married and having kids and my social life had taken a real dip in the last two years! I've explored having a baby on my own but really more than a baby- I want to have someone there to share everything with like the baby not sleeping or a leaky gutter- I am willing to try pretty much anything and while I have some childhood related issues I have attended a counsellor in the past and think they are resolved to whatever lever they can be. I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me it's okay- or offer additional suggestions to what i can do to meet someone who is happy to watch Francis Brennan on a Sunday night or tell me I'm being crazy when I worry about what outfit to wear for a day out!!

m'lady

Hildablue wrote: »

Sorry for the rant but a 37 year old female who has never been in a long term relationship- I've tried all the usual recommendations about joining new activties etc- Joined some meet up groups last year and a musical society to put myself out there! I've never felt a real connection with an individual- have considered that I might be a lesbian-but nothing there either. All my friends are married and having kids and my social life had taken a real dip in the last two years! I've explored having a baby on my own but really more than a baby- I want to have someone there to share everything with like the baby not sleeping or a leaky gutter- I am willing to try pretty much anything and while I have some childhood related issues I have attended a counsellor in the past and think they are resolved to whatever lever they can be. I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me it's okay- or offer additional suggestions to what i can do to meet someone who is happy to watch Francis Brennan on a Sunday night or tell me I'm being crazy when I worry about what outfit to wear for a day out!!

Just a quick reply as I'm falling into bed! Have you tried online dating Hildablue?

Hildablue

Tried all of the online dating sites- Have seen many people on multiple sites etc- and I have to ad I am not totally repulsive despite not being everyone's cup of tea- loads of married guys seem willing to have a fling with me!!

LegacyUser

At what point are your efforts to meet someone breaking down and even if you have resolved your childhood issues, what effect do you think they might have on your relationships?

Rekop dog

I wouldn't be leading with looking for someone happy to watch Francis Brennan with you for starters.

m'lady

Hildablue wrote: »

Tried all of the online dating sites- Have seen many people on multiple sites etc- and I have to ad I am not totally repulsive despite not being everyone's cup of tea- loads of married guys seem willing to have a fling with me!!

Why don't you try and look into which dating site would be more reputable, and maybe try it once more? Be fussy, don't talk to guys that you've no interest in, and be honest with them and tell them what you are looking for? Don't spend too long talking to them before meeting them- and don't invest too much time in them until then either.

P.S. I wouldn't mention Francis Brennan!

Austria!

Are you possibly asexual?

redfox123

You need to be clearer as to what is happening in order for posters to advise you. What happens on the online dating? Do you get messaged by guys you are interested in or are you very fussy? When you go on dates are you just not interested or if you are what happens, is the attraction not reciprocated? There is usually a thread through these things and it's finding exactly what that is, the pyschological patterns in terms of your behaviours and how you respond to situations, and becoming aware of perhaps some fears and defense mechanisms you have that may be putting up barriers to connecting with someone.