My bf has trans open on his phone

adviceonissue

Hi everyone ,

My bf and i have been going out for over 3 years and we have 1 child and another one the way,i have 2 children from a previous relationship and he has 1. We are both late 20s.

We have a good relationship,great actually,the few fights over things but it's usually us venting.

Recently he let me use his phone and I accidentally hit an app tumblr and it opened up trans things. I closed it immediately in shock and have him the phone back. Later that night I couldn't helo but check again as we aren't very private abiut our phones and saw in this app lots of "trans and sissy" things. His internet history is fine and doesn't connect to it and he doesn't chat to other woman other than platonic way and this is with mutual friends etc.

Our sex life is amazinf and we have a great relationship,we are engaged and live the ground each other walk om so Im wondering what's going on, I've read enough boards know not to jump off the rails but I'm really confused.

On the outside he's an amazing fiance and dad...but he must watch this stuff albeit through one app,we get on great and love each other so should I ask him about it or leave it?

Honestly I'm not sure if I'm offended or not. He's obviously with me for reason but also watches this for a reason

Guffy

Ask him about it maybe?

Katgurl

I really think you should ask him. It sounds like you have a very good relationship with lots of trust. There could be a very innocent explanation - helping a friend set up a profile perhaps? You will know by his reaction if there is anything to worry about.

eeeee

Don't understand the problem here? Unless it's pornographic and you're not ok with your partner looking at porn? People are curious, he looked at some things, is interested or curious about something, maybe he it's something he wants to pursue himself - either way if the relationship is strong and you love each other I struggle to see the issue?

neonsofa

Katgurl wrote: »

I really think you should ask him. It sounds like you have a very good relationship with lots of trust. There could be a very innocent explanation - helping a friend set up a profile perhaps? You will know by his reaction if there is anything to worry about.

I'd imagine that the innocent explanation is he was just watching some porn. I don't think it is necessarily something that should be viewed as "guilty" or something to worry about.

Ursus Horribilis

Maybe he was just curious? Some(many?) people look at different types of porn even though they've no intention of ever replicating it in real life.

adviceonissue

Hi

Thanks for your replies.

I said to him this morning that I had seen it and would like to to talk to him about it in a non judgmental or confrontational manner.

He admits he watches it and it's sort of his kink/taboo.

I asked him does he want to explain more and he said it's something he enjoys and fantasies about being the female part sometimes.

It's a bit of a shock but I'm not going to judge him.

He admits he's never cheated on me and I fully believe him.

I asked him is this something hed like to explore and he said he doesn't know and maybe it is or maybe it's just better being a fantasy for him

He's the love of my life and I honestly would do anything to make him happy as I'm sure he would for me. I'm not sure how is facilitate this even if I did want to go down this route with him. Not saying uncomfortably doing it with him just never really expected this in my life and I'm sure it's a massive world to be involved in

I have some thinking and researching to do I suppose

TheChizler

It sounds like you're a fantastic girlfriend for considering he might want to try things and would go to the lengths of researching this! If may just be a fantasy for him and he'd like to keep it that way and not want to feel like he has to follow through, or maybe he'd love to. Just as important is to not feel pressured yourself. You're doing the right thing by talking about it.

December2012

I don't think you've to do any more to be honest. If he wants to do something in the future, he now knows he can talk to you about it.

lifeandtimes

Fair play to you for having an open mind to please the person you love. Not a lot of people would as it's not something that would be a common enough "fetish" and a lot of people would feel insecure about themselves as well I'm sure after finding out.

You're a credit and your boyfriend is lucky to have you