Advice about neighbour

franco25

Hi quick one just looking for some advice, our elderly neighbour has been living next door with her carer daughter for past year. What has since transpired is the carer daughter has fallen off the wagon as an alcoholic. The elderly mother has been removed from the home due to this. The daughter has been put out of the mother's house and subsequently decided to take up residence in the porch for 2-3 weeks. Note it is common knowledge that this person has her own home and has been provided with alot of help. She was given temporary accommodation but now decided to come back to her mothers home. The porch is now locked and has decided to sleep beside the bins in the driveway.

We have contacted the guards as she was making noise, they have moved her on already but she is now back.....I am looking for advice on best course of action. It might seem heartless but this person does have their own home and i don't know why she is squatting in her old family home not her home.

I pay a mortgage for my home and have very young kids, i don't want to explain to them about someone sleeping on a driveway and I think this behaviour is totally unacceptable no matter how much problems people have.

The family do not want to know but have left this problem with us neighbours.

Do I keep ringing the guards?

tomwaterford

Has she any siblings you can contact?

kylith

Yes, keep calling the Gardai. If they keep moving her on she might get the message.

lifeandtimes

All this common knowledge but do you have any proof she has her own home? And even if she did it doesn't sound like she could support her self there. Contact the guards who will get this person some help they need

franco25

The family don't do not want to know, as they have tried and retried in the past, a sad situation but can't leave in a driveway, lying on a duvey, there are no cars, she does own her house, currently rented....stupid question but i take it by law you can't just live in a relatives driveway?

TresGats

Hi, I'm a bit confused- you say it's common knowledge this woman owns her own home, "currently rented", and that she is in temporary accommodation also? Which one?

franco25

TresGats wrote: »

Hi, I'm a bit confused- you say it's common knowledge this woman owns her own home, "currently rented", and that she is in temporary accommodation also? Which one?

Yes and yes,her acutal house is being rented out...she won't return to her actual home and she was given temporary accommodation currently residing in a driveway...

TresGats

Ah , ok. It sounds like perhaps she might need some specialist help. If you know which housing body gave her the accom, you could ring them to let them know she needs more supports. Failing that i would keep reporting her to the Gardai, for her own safety as well as yours.

judeboy101

franco25 wrote: »

Yes and yes,her acutal house is being rented out...she won't return to her actual home and she was given temporary accommodation currently residing in a driveway...

Wait, she owns her own home and is renting it out and some agency has put her up in temp accommodation?

franco25

judeboy101 wrote: »

Wait, she owns her own home and is renting it out and some agency has put her up in temp accommodation?

Yes she got temporary accomodation from church and now apparently has no where to go....u can't make this up....

judeboy101

franco25 wrote: »

Yes she got temporary accomodation from church and now apparently has no where to go....u can't make this up....

Well then have zero sympathy for her, keep ringing guards.

freshpopcorn

I think for the Gardai to take the complaint really seriously. It would have to come from the owner of the house she's sleeping in.
I honestly don't know what will happen here but all I can say is Winter is coming and she'll get sick of it by then.

judeboy101

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I think for the Gardai to take the complaint really seriously. It would have to come from the owner of the house she's sleeping in.
I honestly don't know what will happen here but all I can say is Winter is coming and she'll get sick of it by then.

Not if OP cites child protection concerns.

woodchuck

I feel sorry for this woman.

It's not your property and she's not actually causing any harm from the sounds of it (aside from the one off noise complaint?). So I'm not sure on what grounds you could call the guards. Not wanting to give an awkward explanation to your kids doesn't sound like a legitimate reason to me.

If it's disturbing you that much though, try to find some of your relatives neighbours to contact and they might be able to do something. This can't go on forever anyway though. As someone said, the cooler weather alone will drive her away sooner or later.

franco25

woodchuck wrote: »

I feel sorry for this woman.

It's not your property and she's not actually causing any harm from the sounds of it (aside from the one off noise complaint?). So I'm not sure on what grounds you could call the guards. Not wanting to give an awkward explanation to your kids doesn't sound like a legitimate reason to me.

If it's disturbing you that much though, try to find some of your relatives neighbours to contact and they might be able to do something. This can't go on forever anyway though. As someone said, the cooler weather alone will drive her away sooner or later.

Not our property not hers either, she has her own property and wud rather get money from rent then live in it. No doubt she has her troubles but shudnt impact on others,ask yourself wud u like to be paying a mortgage,both working full-time next to this.

Colser

franco25 wrote: »

Not our property not hers either, she has her own property and wud rather get money from rent then live in it. No doubt she has her troubles but shudnt impact on others,ask yourself wud u like to be paying a mortgage,both working full-time next to this.

What does she do during the day,does she just come in at night to sleep there?

franco25

Sleeps there day and night, drinking....

woodchuck

franco25 wrote: »

Not our property not hers either, she has her own property and wud rather get money from rent then live in it. No doubt she has her troubles but shudnt impact on others,ask yourself wud u like to be paying a mortgage,both working full-time next to this.

You haven't actually explained HOW she's impacting on others though. Is she just there at night in a sleeping bag? Or is she passed out drunk in her own vomit all day/night? I'm not trying to be smart, but you haven't actually explained how it's impacting on you so it's difficult to advise.

franco25

Drinking, passed out.............

woodchuck

franco25 wrote: »

Drinking, passed out.............

Ok then in that case contact the guards again and see what it is that they can do. I'm still not sure if there is much they can do if she's not causing an actual disturbance, but it can't hurt to have a conversation with them...

franco25

Thanks, see how this plays out.

Xterminator

Hi Op

christy moore wrote:

The local Christian said to me,
“You’ll lower the price of property.”

while i think your neighbour needs help, it doesn't sound to me like you are trying to help the person who needs it. I think i'd hope i could talk to this sad person and find out why she is sleeping in the driveway, and if i could do anything to help. be it a hot meal, somewhere warm to sleep, a sleeping bag ... a sholder to cry on.

Im not sure the guards are the solution here, and you her family may have given up on her, and i know from expereince that its hard to help someone who wont help themselves.

So listen; rather than worry about how you explain to your kids why the woman is sleeping rough, id worry about having the conversation with them about why you didn't do more to help.

franco25

I would love to help and be a shoulder to cry on but I have 3 kids paying childcare, a full-time job (and part-time job) and my wife works public sector who has had wages shredded the last few years.........we all have our own issues...

Xterminator

Using your logic perhaps then we should bus all the homeless poeple from the city centre to somewhere we cannot see them, so it doesn't bother us? Is that the sum of societys (and your personal) responsibility ? Homelessness, substance abuse & mental illness shouldn't make me feel uncomfortable?

You called the guards on this person. what criminal offense do you feel she is committing? Is it appropriate to use the police force to try to 'move on' someone whose presence is making you uncomfortable.

My advice to you is to try to understand what her problem is by speaking with her as a human being.

& my original point was that i would worry more about the example you are showing your children; than being worried about having to explain that issue like homelessness exist in our society in answer to any questions they may have.

TresGats

Hi, I had a friend who I met when in the psych unit many years ago. Anyway, he was moved out into independent living and would have spells on & off the drink. One day when I wasn't there he called up to my house and getting no answer, fell asleep in the garden with his bag o'cans. Saturday afternoon too.
The boy next door had just lost his dad at the time, and he thought my (ex) friend was dead, so the Fire Service/ Ambulance were called to check was he ok, and moved him along. I told him not to come up with drink on him, and haven't seen him since.
Very drunk people can be frightening and unpredictable to children and adults even, this lady should be supported by a social worker to go back to her own place of residence.

freshpopcorn

TresGats wrote: »

Hi, I had a friend who I met when in the psych unit many years ago. Anyway, he was moved out into independent living and would have spells on & off the drink. One day when I wasn't there he called up to my house and getting no answer, fell asleep in the garden with his bag o'cans. Saturday afternoon too.
The boy next door had just lost his dad at the time, and he thought my (ex) friend was dead, so the Fire Service/ Ambulance were called to check was he ok, and moved him along. I told him not to come up with drink on him, and haven't seen him since.
Very drunk people can be frightening and unpredictable to children and adults even, this lady should be supported by a social worker to go back to her own place of residence.

You the home own of the house who's lawn he was asleep on got him moved on tough.
This isn't happening in this case tough.

LegacyUser

franco25 wrote: »

she has her own property and wud rather get money from rent then live in it.

You don't know in what context it's rented out. It's not a simple case to just kick people out if you want to move back in. If they have a lease she can't break it and if they've part 4 depending how long they've been there they could entitled to 16+weeks notice and there is a very set procedure to follow and if you don't you can be done for a lot of money. If shes not able to look after herself it's not likely she's going to be able to issue the correct eviction notice.

Keep calling Guards and try the council and AA groups for advice on how to get her help and out of the drive way.

franco25

Yeah the guards in fairness came day before yesterday before the big rain hit as she was in a bad way yesterday, they have taken her away for some help, we rang earlier and she is being looked after. Thanks for all the comments.