Seeking Sister (Me:1965 Her:1969)

bessboroughboy

About Me: I was born in Bessborough in 1965 (male) and then adopted through CPRSI (now Cunamh).

About Her: I don't know where she was born but it was in 1969 and she was then adopted through St. Anne's Adoption Society, Cork.

She has known about me for a long time but I've only know about her for a short time.

I don't know her name (birth or adoptive) but I do have a little more information I can give by private message. I haven't obtained my original birth cert. yet but I have the necessary info. to do so and subsequently get our birth mother's name and eventually get my sister's birth name.

Really just hoping that this gets noticed by someone who recognises us.

Thanks for reading and if I can help anyone, just ask!

kathy finn

Hi,
If your sister was adopted through st annes i would presume she was born Cork. You need to get your orignal bcert which will give mothers name from there look for a matching surname in years for your sister,
Once you have her orignal bcert you can cross reference by date of birth in adoption books.
i would suggest you follow tracing guides.

bessboroughboy

Many thanks Kathy,

Yes, ordinarily Cork would definitely be the likely birthplace but there's a good chance she was born in the UK and then placed for adoption in Ireland via St. Anne's in Cork.

I've read that St. Anne's in particular were prolific in dealing with "repatriation of infant" cases from UK back to Ireland.

Our birth mother went to the UK after my adoption was arranged (1965) but I don't know yet how long she stayed.

Luckily, I am certain that my sister was born in 1969 and then adopted via St. Anne's.

I will be taking your good advice Kathy, and going to Werburgh St. next week.

kathy finn

UK BMD records are all online, Highgate Hill in london would be where most of the babies born to irish girls and sent back adopted via st annes.

bessboroughboy

kathy finn wrote: »

UK BMD records are all online, Highgate Hill in london would be where most of the babies born to irish girls and sent back adopted via st annes.

Thanks again Kathy,

I had no idea there was such an established system in place or that a common address might exist at all.


So for anyone reading who's in a similar position, here's what I know and what I hope to find out:


I have my non-idenfifying info. from the adoption agency concerned so I know my original first name and my birth mother's first name.

The same agency also alerted me to the fact that I have a younger sister, possibly UK born (no name yet though, although it would be on file).

Armed with my DOB and both first names (mine & mother's), I will go through the relevant books at Werburgh Street for my year of birth and look for entries with my DOB, with the correct first names AND with both surnames the same.

If I find my original birth cert. then I will also know my birth mother's full name, which will make looking for my sister's original birth cert. a possibility.

bessboroughboy

I really didn't expect to be updating this thread so soon but I've been very lucky -


Spent a few hours in the GRO at Werburgh St. and managed to find my birth certificate.

Birth certificate confirmed the details I already had but also provided me with my birth mother's surname.

By pure chance, I was able to match with my sister's details on the following website:

http://www.ukbirthadoptionregister.com

Now I have her full birth name, her dob, her full adoptive name and old contact details (work and home) so I'm hoping to catch up with her soon by following those leads.


Best of luck to everyone out there who is looking for birth parents, birth children or birth siblings.
Perhaps a dna database would be the only way to answer the questions of those whose details were lost, deliberately altered or misrepresented?

Hermy

Well done bess-boy and thanks for sharing your success.

bessboroughboy

Hermy wrote: »

Well done bess-boy and thanks for sharing your success.

Thanks Hermy,

Almost there!

I know exactly where in Dublin she lived and worked about 15 years ago and the current management of the place where she worked have very kindly put me in touch with the previous management so fingers crossed . . . .

It must be very frustrating though for others whose details are not so solid.

I think the GRO should have Argos style touch screens on which you can do filtered searches based on whatever scant information you might have. For instance, look for everyone registered under "Violet", or every bdm that happened on "01/01/2000", or every bdm that happened in "Glenamaddy".

Look at it this way, every online store has a huge interactive database.

I was leafing through pages that looked like you could blow the toner off them (feint photocopies that would have needed to be laminated to protect the image).

Hermy

bessboroughboy wrote: »

I think the GRO should have Argos style touch screens on which you can do filtered searches based on whatever scant information you might have. For instance, look for everyone registered under "Violet", or every bdm that happened on "01/01/2000", or every bdm that happened in "Glenamaddy".

The GRO still expect people to post or fax requests for research certs so it could be a while - maybe ten or twenty years - before they get touch screens.

As to the filtered searches - when the civil indexes at irishgenealogy.ie were first launched they were searchable right up to the present day [until the Data Commissioner stepped in] and what one could find, even though they were only indexes, was brilliant.
In one case I identified the half sibling of someone I was helping to trace their birth family.
That might not have been possible manually searching the index books in Werburgh Street.

And speaking of the index books - you're absolutely right about the poor condition of the current batch of books. There's obviously no oversight in that department because these books which are recent reprints are worse than the ones they replaced.

bessboroughboy

Some progress -

Having followed up the old contact details that were associated with my sister's posting on the http://www.ukbirthadoptionregister.com website I have managed to reach her 2nd or 3rd last address and the lady there has kindly undertaken to have my own contact details forwarded on to my sister's current address.

The following sites were very useful in attempting to tie together the various pieces of information that I obtained in the GRO, Werburgh St. -

https://www.familysearch.org/search
(but coverage of some counties seems incomplete)

http://www.findmypast.ie/
(a small subscription is required to read transcriptions, choose the "World" option if you're interested in UK records)

http://www.ukbmdsearch.org.uk/

BottleOfSmoke

You're getting closer, bessboroughboy. I'm following along, wishing you the best of luck. You mentioned that she does know about you, which is great.
I'm hoping you get to meet soon - it's a bit of a rollercoaster from then on, try and take it slow, expect ups and downs.
Nicky Campbell (presenter of long lost family) had a reunion with a sister, which is a big part of his autobiography. His book is quite good - it's called "Blue Eyed Boy" - its warts-and-all honest about where he went wrong and right.

bessboroughboy

BottleOfSmoke wrote: »

You mentioned that she does know about you, which is great.

Nicky Campbell (presenter of long lost family) had a reunion with a sister, which is a big part of his autobiography. His book is quite good - it's called "Blue Eyed Boy" - its warts-and-all honest about where he went wrong and right.

Good idea BottleOfSmoke, I'll keep an eye out for that book.

Yes, she contacted my agency a few years after the posting I mentioned but she didn't actually initiate a trace. Very understandable though, I'm guessing she couldn't verify that I knew I was adopted so she didn't want to risk causing upheaval.

I have to admit that I don't deserve any credit for catching up with her so quickly, the concise information in her posting (which I stumbled upon by Googling our mother's surname earlier this month) gave me everything I needed in order to respond due to her having been very meticulous regarding forwarding addresses and phone book entries.

spaceHopper

Have you tried linked in you may find her from her work history

bessboroughboy

spaceHopper wrote: »

Have you tried linked in you may find her from her work history

Thanks SpaceHopper,

Yes, I've tried LinkedIn & Facebook but haven't found anything yet. There are several ladies with the correct name but they either grew up in the wrong country or they look way too young. If nothing happens in a week or two, I think I'll go back to Werburgh Street to see if she married. If she did, I'll go back to LinkedIn & Facebook with her married name.

I found out today that she was adopted to a Cork City address but according to the electoral register neither her or her parents are there anymore.

I haven't mentioned our birth mother at all yet, that's because my social worker at Cúnamh has been making enquiries. The normal practice is to attempt to contact the birth mother before putting birth siblings in touch. That process will take much longer but Cúnamh may well have current information regarding my sister on file.

I started off by concentrating on my mother's family as I though it would be impossible to find my sister but I had a lucky break early on which turned things around and I ended up knowing far more about my sister than I did about my mother.

Sorry about the long meandering reply, I'm trying to be as informative as possible to anyone reading who's in a similar position

bessboroughboy

I'm glad to say that I received some positive news recently. Everyone's situation is different but in my case I was seeking two birth relatives, and as the pieces began to fit together, one would seem the easier to locate, then the other, and so on.

Also, there was no way of telling if they themselves had made contact with each other, so I couldn't assume that finding either would automatically lead to finding the other.

Although I managed to gather a lot of information in the GRO, the sophisticated approach of the lady at Cúnamh (independent of my efforts) was what secured this recent development.

I didn't want to leave the thread open ended because anyone in a similar position might assume things had gone badly and feel less inclined to start their own search.

Hermy

That's great news bess - thanks for sharing.