How to let someone down

LegacyUser

Im going to come across really shallow here but I literally don't know what to do.
I was out with some friends on Friday night and ran into a guy I know, we're not friends just know allot of mutual people so we chat if we bump into one another when out. He seems nice but sometimes can be sleazy, jokingly but its still a little bit creepy, otherwise he comes across as a cool guy.
When I got home I had messages from him and I wrote back just like how was your night, that kind of thing, he then asked if id be interested in going on a date with him this week. I was a little bit tipsy and put on the spot and didn't want to let him down so I said I would.
The problem is I don't think he's attractive at all, he doesn't look after himself physically whatsoever.
I know how shallow this sounds but I cant help it, i'll be the first to admit that im far from perfect myself and ive never been one to go for someone because of how they look but I feel like there should be some physical attraction.
He's been sending me really flirty messages ever since and I don't know what to do? How can I let him down? Ive got a hard time saying no to people and I dont want things to be weird.

December2012

Hmmmm, you could cancel the date.

Or you could go on the date, give it a go, but if you don't enjoy that then you can genuinely say that there isn't a connection there.

Maybe he'll shower / groom up now that he knows he'll actually see you?

Don't do the flirty texts though. Just keep it neutral on your side

peckerhead

Blame the drink. Just tell him you're sorry, but you shouldn't have agreed, the 'spark' isn't there, etc., and you don't want to lead him on. The longer you leave it the messier it'll get.

Of course if he can't take a hint and becomes persistent, then amp it up to something like he's just not your type. Just be straight, don't make up stupid pretexts; it's only time-wasting.

Hannibal_Smith

You have 2 options. Go on the 'date' and tell him you just want to keep it mates. Text him beforehand maybe and say jokingly, hey ease up on the suggestive texts.... we're mates!

Or cancel the date.

alberto67

I would cancel the date. No point giving him hopes. Tell him you just want to be friends with him or something like that... Your post shows that he's not your type.

Dial Hard

alberto67 wrote:

I would cancel the date.

This. If the OP is having trouble saying no before the date she's certainly not going to find it any easier afterwards.

alberto67

Dial Hard wrote: »

This. If the OP is having trouble saying no before the date she's certainly not going to find it any easier afterwards.

This. She was a bit tipsy and put on the spot. I am sure she'll find a way to cancel the date. She might find it easier afterwards...

professore

Just tell him the truth and apologise to him. Nothing worse than needlessly leading him on. And I get the feeling you saying he's a bit sleazy was to make yourself feel better. If you fancied him it would be sexy instead of sleazy.

If he's a cool guy he'll understand.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies, I just need to be honest with him. Ill cancel the date.

@Professore- No it wasnt to make myself feel better or have anything to do with not fancying him. He's jokingly asked me for nude pics, asked me if id take my clothes off among other things that I wont go into here. It would put me off anyone.

GuessWhoEh

Go on the date. Be yourself. Enjoy each other's company and then let him down gently after. That way, you gave him a little chance and you won't feel as bad next time you two bump into each other

December2012

Originalposter-zxcvbnm wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, I just need to be honest with him. Ill cancel the date.

@Professore- No it wasnt to make myself feel better or have anything to do with not fancying him. He's jokingly asked me for nude pics, asked me if id take my clothes off among other things that I wont go into here. It would put me off anyone.

I take my original advice back.
Asking for nudes is creepy.
You're well rid.

ShaShaBear

Originalposter-zxcvbnm wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, I just need to be honest with him. Ill cancel the date.

@Professore- No it wasnt to make myself feel better or have anything to do with not fancying him. He's jokingly asked me for nude pics, asked me if id take my clothes off among other things that I wont go into here. It would put me off anyone.

Definitely cancel the date, don't wait until after. I know his sort - the kind that will throw a tantrum after the date, telling everyone it went a completely different way (likely with you putting out) in order to save his pride. You could also find him hounding you even more because you agreed to the date, so obviously there's some attraction there (in his mind). Cancel it, say you were put on the spot and didn't want to hurt his feelings but you are not attracted to him. Any other excuse could be painted as a "if this was not the case, I'd go out with you" type of thing.