Phone Sex, Cheating

Curiousabout

If you catch your spouse having phone sex with someone else and discussing an actual physical meeting, would you consider this cheating?
And would you consider it reasonable that they remain in daily contact via phone, regular social outings together, and secret house visits ?

racso1975

Yes I'd consider the first part cheating.

I don't fully understand the second part

alberto67

Yes, that's cheating. It's weird too. But you want to understand why your spouse is doing that. Talk to them. You might consider counselling as well.

Secret house visits? No, it's not reasonable.

fineso.mom

Unless you and your spouse have agreed to an open relationship then, yes of course it's cheating. And what anyone else thinks is irrelevant, its up to you what is acceptable to you in your relationship.

redfox123

Oh good god, you're obviously in shock or something and can't accept the cheating that's blatantly happening right in front of you. He/she is trampling all over your self esteem, which is why you're actually asking this.

Colser

Not being dramatic but I'd split up with them.I'd definitely consider that and the rest of your post cheating.

Big Bag of Chips

I think the phone sex is just confusing the matters, secret house meetings suggests actual sex is happening too. It's often said, cheaters will only admit to what you've caught them out on. You caught them sending texts. You haven't caught them in the physical act.

They're cheating on you. Not just virtually.

LegacyUser

Hmmmm what exactly do you think is going on in these secret house visits? Come on you knowing the cheating is already happening/has already happened!

Airyfairy12

It depends on what youre personally comfortable with, don't worry about what others think. Are you uncomfortable with it or do you consider it cheating? Some people think masturbation is cheating others are fine with open relationships. Its all subjective.

Personally though, if it were my partner who was having phone sex and meeting up with other women I wouldnt be able to look at him, the relationship would be over.

LegacyUser

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think the phone sex is just confusing the matters, secret house meetings suggests actual sex is happening too. It's often said, cheaters will only admit to what you've caught them out on. You caught them sending texts. You haven't caught them in the physical act.

They're cheating on you. Not just virtually.

It wasn't text, they were talking on the phone while .......

Auldloon

Bin, delete and block.

Ursus Horribilis

OP, can you give us more information rather than snippets? From the meagre few bits you've given us, it does not sound good at all. Are you married to this person? Do you have kids?

long_b

Curiourabout wrote: »

It wasn't text, they were talking on the phone while .......

100% this is cheating

Ursus Horribilis

I'm curious to know what your thoughts on this are. Why you think it might not be cheating or that you should be OK with it. Am I missing something here?