Worried I could be a father

LegacyUser

So I'm a little stressed out at the moment. Basically I've been seeing some girl from Brazil for the last few months. I have come to the conclusion that I just don’t feel enough to settle down with her long term. Unfortunately she doesn’t feel the same. At the moment she only has a short term visa for Ireland so will go home in a few months.

We've had unprotected s*x a few times without contraception. I used the pull out method. I realise that this was a terrible idea. But it's in the past now so I'm sure it won't happen again. The thing is that she was due her period 16 days ago and still hasn't got it. I'm starting to get extremely nervous. She done 2 home pregnancy tests last weekend (so 1 week after missed period) and both were negative. Last weekend, we visited the doctor and done another pregnancy test. Which was negative too. Big relief. The doctor told us its just a missed period and she's not pregnant. I've read online that sometimes women could be pregnant but it doesn't show on tests until a few weeks. I'm just extremely worried about the situation and don't know what to at this stage. She has not showed any other signs of pregnancy.

I realise the chances are slim but there is always a possibility of pregnancy. If pregnant, would she try stay here and work it out between us? Would she go home with the baby and the baby would grow up in Brazil? I don't know what I would do in such a situation. I worry about the situation every day that passes.

Neyite

Ok if you used branded tests, and tested after she was due, then she's highly unlikely to be pregnant. Those tests are highly sensitive.

Periods can stop or skip for all sorts of reasons - stress, hormone imbalance, or just Mother Nature having lols for herself.

But... she should get a blood test. That will definitely tell if she's pregnant or not, once and for all plus if there is some hormones out of whack, it should show up on that too. A GP can do the bloods and you get the results in a few days usually.

blue note

Sounds like she's not pregnant alright. And that you've learned a lesson without having to pay a price beyond stress which is nice. And you got to have unprotected sex which in fairness is better that wearing a Johnny!

But yeah, maybe next time if you don't have a condom maybe don't go quite as far!

LegacyUser

The chances are she is not pregnant. The tests are highly sensitive. Look I've been there, and I know. She probably got the dates mixed up.

Mr. Incognito

the female body releases a hormone after pregnancy- as soon as the egg implants. If she's had three negitave tests shes not pregnant

kylith

I'm probably being paranoid here, but if she subsequently discovers she is pregnant after 3 negative tests, get a paternity test.

Big Bag of Chips

This might sound like really obvious advice now but do not have unprotected sex, in any way shape or form with someone you do not see a long term future with, especially not someone from a few thousand miles away. It is idiotic beyond belief. For a few minutes pleasure you risk creating a life, a living person that will exist.

Please have a bit more sense. If she senses you're not keen on a relationship and she wants it, she could very easily get pregnant deliberately. Do not have unprotected sex with her.

I would go so far as to say break up with her now, before this goes further. That way if it turns out she is pregnant at least she will know from the start that you will not be doing it as a couple.

MissShihTzu

Oh dear. I think you dodged a bullet there OP. There is no excuse to become a Daddy if you don't want to be. I don't think the lady is pregnant either, but if she suddenly 'is'. Get you down to the doctor's for a paternity test - Quick!

Next time - YOU take care of business, no matter what she tells you!

riemann

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

This might sound like really obvious advice now but do not have unprotected sex, in any way shape or form with someone you do not see a long term future with, especially not someone from a few thousand miles away. It is idiotic beyond belief. For a few minutes pleasure you risk creating a life, a living person that will exist.

Please have a bit more sense. If she senses you're not keen on a relationship and she wants it, she could very easily get pregnant deliberately. Do not have unprotected sex with her.

I would go so far as to say break up with her now, before this goes further. That way if it turns out she is pregnant at least she will know from the start that you will not be doing it as a couple.

Wow, inspirational advice Captain.

Neyite

Mod:

Riemann, this is an advice forum and we expect that all replies are on topic, helpful and constructive for the OP.

If you've nothing to add, don't post. If you are of a mind to take potshots at other posters, definitely don't post or you risk an infraction or a ban.

Xterminator

Hi OP

if you are mature enough to have a sexual relationship then you are mature enough to buy condoms, and carry some with you. You just need to grow up and accept this responsibility.

If you meet a girl in a disco next week and she tell you shes on the pill, you still need to use the condom.

The only exception is when you are in a monogamous relationship & where you know your partner is using another method of contraception eg the pill etc, and does not have an STI.

sounds like you have been lucky with the pregnancy scare - and i suspect you never want to feel that way again! Get an STI test - to be safe and be safe from now on.

X

Lux23

Viral Acclaim wrote: »

You must get her on the pill. There's always the chance she could get knocked up by someone else and trap you.

Get her on the pill? She is the only one who should decide whether she should start taking the pill.

OP - if you're not interested in this girl and you think she might be messing you around a bit perhaps it is best to end things with her and find someone who wants something a bit more casual?

eviltwin

Get yourself tested for STD's OP. Pregnancy is not the only concern with unsafe sex. Goes without saying that unsafe sex with someone you are only seeing on a casual basis is nuts.

heretothere

If she's been to the doctor and done a test I'd say you're in the clear. But do go for an STI test and stop using the 'pull out method'!!
I heard yesterday 1 in 4 under 30 yrs olds use this and 1 in 3 over 35s use the pull out method!! Serious not a good method you should always use a condom even if she says she's on the pill if you do not want a baby with her.

Thankfully my friend listened to sense, when we were 21 she felt her bf was about to break up with her so she was going to stop taking her pill to get pregnant on purpose so that he would stay with her, probably would have been short term solution as they going to break up either way but there would have been a baby involved! Luckily she listened to sense.

boardsuser1

heretothere wrote: »

If she's been to the doctor and done a test I'd say you're in the clear. But do go for an STI test and stop using the 'pull out method'!!
I heard yesterday 1 in 4 under 30 yrs olds use this and 1 in 3 over 35s use the pull out method!! Serious not a good method you should always use a condom even if she says she's on the pill if you do not want a baby with her.

Thankfully my friend listened to sense, when we were 21 she felt her bf was about to break up with her so she was going to stop taking her pill to get pregnant on purpose so that he would stay with her, probably would have been short term solution as they going to break up either way but there would have been a baby involved! Luckily she listened to sense.

The second paragraph is what became reality for me.