How would you react if a family member committed a really bad crime?

freshpopcorn

This is something I often wonder about. Nobody in family has ever really being in trouble with the law.
I know of a family and they would have being very old school. They would have always said people who committed murder, drug dealers, etc should be locked up for life or get the death penalty and their circle of friends felt the same. Their son ended up getting caught with a very large amount of drugs. Their views completely changed and their friends did also. The tried everything to get him off and get a light sentence.
I don't know how I would react to be honest. I think I'd be okay with some crimes apart from child abuse.

How would you react if a family member committed a really bad crime?

Tigger

freshpopcorn wrote: »

This is something I often wonder about. Nobody in family has ever really being in trouble with the law.
I know of a family and they would have being very old school. They would have always said people who committed murder, drug dealers, etc should be locked up for life or get the death penalty and their circle of friends felt the same. Their son ended up getting caught with a very large amount of drugs. Their views completely changed and their friends did also. The tried everything to get him off and get a light sentence.
I don't know how I would react to be honest. I think I'd be okay with some crimes apart from child abuse.

How would you react if a family member committed a really bad crime?

Sexual stuff and they can feck off
otherwise I'd be all in

Omackeral

Tigger wrote: »

Sexual stuff and they can feck off
otherwise I'd be all in

Anything harming children or elderly people or importing garlic and I'm out.

bazza1

Putting empty milk cartons back in the fridge....there's no going back from that! They'ed be dead to me!

Ninthlife

Leaving the immersion on. Consider themselves disowned

PandaPoo

I thought about this today. The two lads who beat up the elderly woman in Bray, if they were my children/relatives they would be dead to me

retro:electro

I used to think there's no worse crime than murder, and taking someone's life should be considered to be the worst crime in the world- but I'd consider forgiving a murderer before I would a convicted rapist or a child abuser. I'd literally cut those out of my life forever, no matter how close I was to them. There's literally no justification for those crimes.

Shenshen

I always suspect that life isn't usually black and white, so it would for me depend on the crime but also on the motive. And most important of all, it would depend on how much remorse the person in question felt and showed. And I don't just mean remorse of being caught. Are they actually trying to make amends?

It's always easy to say things with absolute certainty - until you actually find yourself in such a situation.

Fart

Too many being's. I gave up reading the OP after a few sentences.

*Queue the onslaught... *

LadyMacBeth_

I really don't know. It would depend on the crime, mitigating factors (if there are any) and how close I am to the person. I reckon I could forgive my OH for quite a lot, whereas I might not be as forgiving with others. Murder, violent assaults on vulnerable people and sexual abuse would be the ones that I'd most struggle with, couldn't give a shyte if they imported garlic or sold drugs or got caught stealing.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Family is family and no matter how angry disappointed or disgusted I am, theyre my family

corner of hells

I dunno , I come from a big south inner city Dublin family with loads of cousins and uncles and not one of us has a conviction .

So I'd probably be disowned if I'd got any charges at all.

In saying that my ma and her sisters were all black belts with the wooden spoon.

Nothing stops a wayward orchard stealin' smoking ten year old than a wooden spoon.

Burial.

Would obviously depend on the crime, but hard to forgive anything half serious. Murder and child abuse obviously being completely inexcusable. I've cut ties with family over far less. It's a no brainer to cut toxic people and people who're detrimental to you out of your life ASAP, family ties mean nothing in that regard.

eviltwin

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Family is family and no matter how angry disappointed or disgusted I am, theyre my family

Fair play to you, I couldn't. I had a sibling convicted of a crime against a child. I can't be around him anymore. I don't hate him but I no longer trust him and I wouldn't feel comfortable in his company. I'm sure there will be situations in the future where we are forced to be in each other's company and I will be civil possibly even friendly towards him but that's all.

Bananaleaf

Fart wrote: »

Too many being's. I gave up reading the OP after a few sentences.

*Queue the onslaught... *

*cue*

tupenny

Rape, murder , child abuse they can **** off.
Otherwise, I'd listen .

Ralf and Florian

Tigger wrote: »

Sexual stuff and they can feck off
otherwise I'd be all in

What about murder and necrophilia?

Erik Shin

Kidnapping...had no issue at all with it

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This post has been deleted.

Grab All Association

Worst offence I've ever seen was broadcasted on Rté about 15 years ago.

Daughter: Daddy's going to court
Father: We didn't get a TV licence and got caught.
Grandmother: takes the dinner away from him
Announcer: Get a TV licence of face prosecution and that's before the embarrassment starts.

Unforgivable

Erik Shin

Ooh, forgot...but the lad who took my daughters christening photo's has recently been convicted of having many child porn images on his pc....I went to school with him but hadn't any real dealings with the guy in 20 years....I don't feel any hatred towards the guy, more pity I suppose

mahamageehad

It would depend on a lot of different factors I think. If I could understand their motivations, and would have been tempted to do the same thing in the same situation, I'd find it easier to possibly forgive. Not saying if I understood where they were coming from, they'd be forgiven and nothing would change, but it would certainly have a large impact on how I'd react.

Like, it's easy to say you'd never forgive a murderer, but what if it was a beaten wife who for years lived in fear and one day just snapped? Or a young lad that gave his sister's rapist a beating and he fell and hit his head the wrong way and died? That'd be much easier for me to understand than a person brutally stabbing a old woman alone in her house to death, or an eejit who got behind the wheel blind drunk and wiped out a family.

Same with rapists, on the face of it it's one of the most unforgivable crimes to me, especially when it involves someone in a vulnerable position, but if both parties are willing and one is 15 and the other 17, technically they could be done for statutory rape. In that situation I wouldn't cut them out of my life. Also, God forbid, what if someone was falsely accused or consent was withdrawn afterwards? I could see some potentially gray cases here.

A lad in a fight protecting someone more vulnerable that gets done for assault wouldn't be on the same page as a nurse assaulting elderly patients. The situation would be very important.

As someone else said, their remorse would be a big factor, as well as if they'd be likely to do it again. There are some people who laugh about the crimes they've committed and the families they've destroyed, they should never be let back out.

r93kaey5p2izun

If it was in my eyes truly a "really bad crime" then I would have nothing to do with them again. The exception might be my mother. I would probably continue to have a relationship with her no matter what she did, short of child abuse.

As others have said, it's all context-specific even amongst 'similar' crimes. I mean physical cruelty to an animal vs... bestiality :pac:

I'd probably enter a state of denial unless they admitted their guilt. I'm sure that's a coping mechanism adapted by many families of serious criminals. That, and going to absurd lengths to justify their actions.

It's very difficult to turn away from a family member when the rest of the world has. I don't know if I would ever have it in me.

diomed

Wearing lycra, going through a red light, not wearing a helmet.
Triple whammy.

The_Valeyard

Wearing socks with sandals.


Dead to me.

Paddytheman

Taking the cream out of custard creams then sticking them back together as if it never happened, no bond will get me through that!