Heartbroken and struggling

Noodle76

Hey all,
So met the man of my dreams feb 16. Had an absolute fairy tale, a real love story. We both felt this was it and we'd be together forever!!
Anyway in March this year I became pregnant. We were so happy. But my job was temporary so after some research got a permanent job. Got it all wrong and found out they wouldn't be paying me and I've 3 kids and he has 3 too. Spoke about it, he said that he would support us but he was self employed and said he also had them to think of, so in my opinion made the best choice and decided an abortion. I really wanted him to say he'd take care of me but he didn't and that felt like I'd been kicked hard! Spent night after night crying next to him quietly, I felt so let down. So I go ahead with it. And he goes distant, I tried 3/4 times to try and get him to talk ( he's a typical Capricorn) but he kept saying he was fine but I knew he wasn't. After 3 weeks I'd had enough and said we needed to sort it out one way or another, after a few choice words he said he was going to his mates and he never came back.
We've cried together since about the baby and he said he doesn't trust me or forgive me. But he still loves me! Now after many weeks of arguments and him possibly going with someone else we are not talking Any more and it's totally killing me. I'm weak I cry all the time, not only did I lose my baby I lost him too. I'm totally shocked at his behaviour that he has gone so cold when he says that I am the person who knows him best. He wants me to give him time and then be friends but friends is not good enough for me.
Obviously he sees it in a different way and he's a strong man, once he makes his mind up that's it. I've tried begging him, being mean just to get a reaction, and ignoring him but nothing is working. I can't move on because then that relationship will just become part of the past and I can't let it. Please give me some advice before I go crazy!

LegacyUser

Doesn't trust or forgive you? Did you go and get an abortion behind his back or without discussing all options with him? I'm sorry but he has three other kids to think about, his response in saying he has them to consider also is just.

Xterminator

Hi OP

you were in a hard situation, and you made a hard decision. he did say he would support you, but on balance you made a call to terminate it.

But it was your decision, right? and he doesn't agree with you making this decision. its not clear what his objection is, and it doesnt really matter. from his perspective your broken his trust. from your perspective you made the right decision for you. And this has come between you. happen here.

now you're effectively broken up. OP - i think you will have to accept the relationship is over. Begging doesn't help you or him. You can change his mind for him.

you need a clean break.

heretothere

From what I gather she is saying that they both agreed on it. It's a horrible position.
If it was both of your choice then he shouldn't have to forgive you for anything because you both did it. If I am picking up your post wrong and you went behind his back then he has every right to be annoyed.