tGC AMA with Stheno!

ancapailldorcha · 21-07-2017 7:59pm #1

You asked for it! Another lady no less!

Avatar MIA · 21-07-2017 9:47pm

Have you ever considered what it would be like to be a man?

How much different do you think your life would have been if you had been born male?

Manach · 21-07-2017 10:31pm

What is the origin of your username, thanks.

mzungu · 22-07-2017 9:09am

What are your desert island discs?

ancapailldorcha · 23-07-2017 1:51pm

Has there been any book which has had a significant effect on your life?

Pat Mustard · 23-07-2017 4:16pm

Work aside, what are your interests/activities/hobbies?

KrustyUCC · 24-07-2017 12:35pm

Biggest celebrity crush?

quadrifoglio verde · 24-07-2017 7:21pm

How is the Alfa withdrawal going? :pac:

Stheno · 26-07-2017 8:35pm

I just saw this ive been away with work with feck all internet access the past three days. Will answer later

Stheno · 26-07-2017 9:56pm

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Have you ever considered what it would be like to be a man?

How much different do you think your life would have been if you had been born male?

I'm going to start the answers to this AMA by saying that those of you who know me, will know I'm not given to verbosity, but having read the questions on this thread (and first off, thanks for the interest) I fear I may outWibbs Wibbs with some of my responses.

I've never considered what it would be like to be a man, apart from unfavourably considering situations I've had in life where being a female has been advantageous tbh

For a woman of my age in her mid forties, I probably had a very unusual upbringing, my parents who were both very poorly educated (neither got beyond the intercert/junior cert as it's known now) they were very invested in their children. My dad originally trained to be a Salesian brother, and abandoned that and became a farm hand before meeting my mum, and after they got married, my grandfather gifted them the money to buy a small grocery shop in Portlaoise where they set up home.

As their oldest child, my gender was irrelevant to my dad in particular (he was incredibly far sighted for a man born in the 1940s) so as his first born, I was his son, and from the age of seven he got me to spend a couple of hours each night after homework in the shop, learning the trade, how to deal with people and incredibly, reading the paper and discussing current affairs, my dad was from Fermanagh and lived through a lot of the troubles.

My parents also believed that while education was important, so too was contributing to society via charitable work (my mother is incredibly religious and did Lough Derg twice a year most years when I was a kid) but they also believed that being involved in sport was important for children, so in many ways I'd an incredibly balanced upbringing (e.g. when I was in my mid teens I trained to be a lifeguard, so the priority was, do your homework, eat your dinner, and go out and do your training, and btw, tomorrow you are doing the church collection for VdeP)

Equally, even though my parents had the shop, my dad worked full time in another job, so my mum ran the shop during the day, then they came home and shared it in the evening (something that caused me problems in adult relationships) so I never ever thought even as a small child that being female meant I couldn't be equal tbh.

As an adult, that's carried through in a very strong sense, I work in an area of IT which is very specialised, and gained skills and qualifications in that area that were prized far more than my gender for the most part.

Having never realised that being female was a negative, that never affected me.

However I have encountered sexism but relatively rarely. Two I can think of over a period of twenty years, were one where a male conservative colleague asked me why as a married woman I'd no children, and who harrassed me so much that I ended up telling him that I had fertility issues to shut him up.

Another was when I went for an interview and the interviewer looked at my date of birth, and my address and the fact I wore a wedding ring and said "you're married, live some distance away and obviously have children, how do you balance that with a senior role in IT?" I promptly informed he I didn't have children, and when subsequently offered the job, declined it citing that question.

The chap lost his job, and I then met him shortly afterwards at an industry event and as fate would have it, we had to sit together, he couldn't string two words to say to me.

So in short, I've never considered being male, nor would I like to be male frankly as I've never seen as disadvantage being female, if anything being female I've had several advantages.

And when I split from my ex husband, I paid him maintenance, the laws here are incredibly gender neutral, few realise that.

Equally in my industry I have had men older than me query my ability to do my job and rapidly shut their mouths then I have proven them wrong, my most memorable was the head of an organisation thinking I was my boss's PA and my boss laugh in his face and inform him I was his senior consultant.

I actually feel sorry for men sometimes tbh

Manach wrote: »

What is the origin of your username, thanks.

Stheno is the older sister of Medusa, I chose it for fun when Medusa was not available.

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:02pm

mzungu wrote: »

What are your desert island discs?

Best of the following:
Guns n Roses
Leonard Cohen
Billy Joel
Johnny Cash

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Has there been any book which has had a significant effect on your life?

Not really, but several poets have including Patrick Kavanagh and Emily Dickinson, I had an inspirational English teacher in fifth and sixth year of my secondary education who transformed my appreciation of English.

I read voraciously, about six fiction novels a week, along with work related publications and non fiction books

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:09pm

Pat Mustard wrote: »

Work aside, what are your interests/activities/hobbies?

as I've gotten older, it's staying in touch with family regularly.

Biggest activity is sailing, started it six years ago in my late thirties, and have to say for anyone considering it, and put off as it's snobbish, expensive or exclusive, I did a try sailing day, answered a crew wanted ad, and I've gone on from there, I race about nine months a year, regularly jump onto boats to crew for events, and as someone who in introverted, it is a fantastic sport to get involved in as you always have something to chat about

I've always been a massive reader, and get through about a book a day, i love the escapism

Equally I love politics, I blame my dad

I'd love to join a choir to sing tbh if I had a job that meant I could commit to that.

Outside of that, good afternoons relaxing and doing nothing

ancapailldorcha · 26-07-2017 10:09pm

Stheno wrote: »

Not really, but several poets have including Patrick Kavanagh and Emily Dickinson, I had an inspirational English teacher in fifth and sixth year of my secondary education who transformed my appreciation of English.

I read voraciously, about six fiction novels a week, along with work related publications and non fiction books

How on Earth do you get through 6 a week?

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:14pm

KrustyUCC wrote: »

Biggest celebrity crush?

None to be honest, I don't really follow celebrities, happy enough with the OH that when I'm away he's my crush

quadrifoglio verde wrote: »

How is the Alfa withdrawal going? :pac:

The alfa withdrawal is complete, if I win the lotto I'm buying every new alfa out there, but for now my Honda Accord automatic does the biz!

Fast, comfortable and reliable!

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:16pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

How on Earth do you get through 6 a week?

I travel a lot so spend a lot of time on my own, it's the bar or a good book sometimes,

Plus I read extremely quickly, i'd get through an average novel in three or four hours, my OHs kids are often bemused to see me start a book on a Sunday, and four hours later want another to read.

I also have close to a photographic memory so I retain relevant information very easliy

ancapailldorcha · 26-07-2017 10:18pm

My target is 6 a year. Ouch.

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:22pm

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My target is 6 a year. Ouch.

I actually run out of books to read as I end up having read all the current stuff I'm interested in and look for former books.

I've four giant bags of books in my boot at the moment for the charity shop, about 120 books in total, which all are from the last six months, and exclude the one's I've decided to keep

Jayop · 26-07-2017 10:31pm

Your upbringing is incredibly close to mine with the difference of location, gender and I was the youngest kid. Aside from that, religious yet open minded parents who ran a shop and you damn well had to pitch in. Also, a book in 3 hours is incredible. I'm really starting to regret all those whingey PM's I sent after getting a card now

but hoping your good memory remembers the few nice ones too!!

Do you think that learning how to work and the value of work very young has helped you in your current non retail job, and in other jobs you've had in your career?

Stheno · 26-07-2017 10:57pm

Jayop wrote: »

Your upbringing is incredibly close to mine with the difference of location, gender and I was the youngest kid. Aside from that, religious yet open minded parents who ran a shop and you damn well had to pitch in. Also, a book in 3 hours is incredible. I'm really starting to regret all those whingey PM's I sent after getting a card now but hoping your good memory remembers the few nice ones too!!

Do you think that learning how to work and the value of work very young has helped you in your current non retail job, and in other jobs you've had in your career?

Great questions, and thanks for asking, I have to extend that to everyone on

FOr me this AMA, I know I volunteered, but I never thought anyone would be interested to be honest!

As for your pms, I never found them whingey, I think one of the nicest things about being a mod on boards, is the interaction with users, and establishing the relationship with people, particularly with those of opposite views, and being able to communicate why views are not acceptable, sometimes, it works, sometimes it doesn't, but with the likes of yourself, I've always found you reasonable.

For the most part it's a pleasure to interact as a mod with posters tbh you get the odd one in ten or so who are not so pleasant.

As for the value of work, that was instilled in me from a very very young age. that it was a cumulative thing tbh, for me you worked, and you built on it.

And tbh I've ended up in a scenario that I'm working towards in my forties, that I'll be fairly well off in my fifties, and looking forward to a nice retirment which is important to me as my partner is in his fifties with no such safeguards, so as a woman being his partner I'll be financing his lifestyle once he retires.