Can an assault be used to support a case of (non violent) domestic abuse if you...

BogMonkey

My friend, I met her about 2 months ago while in hospital (I had two seizures), and we've become very good friends since then. Shes being terrorised by her son, I've known her long enough to see the extent of it. It seems hes gotten accustomed to her being passive as a result of being under constant life pressure and having no support. I'm supporting her any way I can, but its a tricky situation. Her life long friend who lives in another country was ready to get a plane ticket to come back to help her when a troubling incident happened a while ago. I talked to him and he said this problem has been there a long time, and this incident (he assaulted me for no reason, I put it down to a misinterpretation but later learned it wasn't, he accused me of something you just don't accuse someone of, and we all know beyond any doubt that he didn't believe it, so that was no misinterpretation or delusion, hes willing to cross lines like that which indicates a serious problem). Her life long friend said this was a long time coming, if it didn't happen with me, it would have been someone else. I knew there was a problem the moment I met him, I shook his hand, looked him in the eyes to give that non verbal cue to show solidarity, that I'm on his side and there to help. Most people respond to this in a way I recognise, they reflect it back at you because everyone will accept having a new ally unless they have some motivation not to, which can only be that they've already decided you're not an ally.

I can't read his mind so I can only speculate that I posed a threat to whatever hold/control he had on his mother. If so, he was right. Its been shattered. Shes not taking any **** from him anymore. Shes decided to kick him out of the house. I'm concerned for her safety, I've never encountered anyone with anger this extreme, or at least never encountered anyone that doesn't need a reason to direct the anger they carry at someone (most people you would have to have wronged them in a very deep way, this fella just being friends with his mother is enough for him to want to kill me). I didn't want things to turn out like this, but its the most harmless and peaceful resolution available, he won't accept any real win win situations that I offered. Legally, he'd be in a really bad place right now but I didn't press charges and won't cuz I don't want to cause any harm to anyone, he doesn't acknowledge any of this. I hate seeing anyone suffer, and this includes his mother, so he has to go, if he won't accept the peaceful, win win way to resolve this problem, then him leaving is the next best thing.

Hes caused enough suffering to his mother and its time for him to leave and learn that you don't bite the hand that fed you since the day you were born. Her dad and every other family member she has left has agreed enough is enough, so shes got support from them, but they're too old to be dealing with this kind of hassle. I told her to make sure the gards know which she did today, but she says they weren't very helpful in terms of assisting her with it. With anger like that, he could explode and do something he might regret for the rest of his life. How can she set this up so she has immediate backup from the gards if anything were to happen, either now, or later down the line? And from a legal perspective, is there anything I can do to help with the process by using the assault as an example of "him having done something" without having to press charges or bring on any legal reprecussions for him (as in a record)? Can I give a statement in support of her case? The gards already know what happened, they showed up the night it happened and brought me to the station, I told them the whole story but I refused to press charges. Does that render the event useless in terms of supporting her case?

nuac

Mod
Sorry, no legal advice allowed on this forum
Subject to that will leave open for now for general discussion,

Victor

Realise that most bullies are full of bluster and while they may pick on their victim(s), they are much slower to act when they face a consolidated front.

While this isn't the 'traditional' case of family abuse, and the Garda has previously been reluctant to intervene in domestic matters, the Garda have improved their pattern of intervention in such cases, with the amended brief of the Garda National Protective Services Bureau: http://www.garda.ie/controller.aspx?page=1646 A statement doesn't always result in a prosecution.

I think one of the things your friend needs is support. You and her other friend are supplying part of this, but it may need to become more formal. This is a group of solicitors firms that use both counselling and law to deal with family law-related matters:Mod deletion [ While they primarily deal with separation between couples, they (or similar firms locally) might be able to help this situation. A solicitor can phrase any correspondence with the Grda at the correct level. There are, of course, traditional counselling services that deal with such matters.

Mod
Reference to solicitors' firms deleted. Thanks for the info, but such references are not for Legal Discussion