Fear of Needing A Toilet and There Being None

Mutter123

Hi everyone, I've had this fear for years of needing the bathroom when there is none available. I don't know if it's ever stopped me from doing anything I want to do, but that fear is acting up now.
I'm doing a cycle to West Cork soon, and I intend to cycle early when it's less hot and there's less traffic. The problem is there won't be any pubs/cafes open at this hour (there actually isn't that many on the route as it is)
I have never been diagnosed with IBS, and usually but not always I just need to go right after breakfast and that's it for the day. The problem is if I get up earlier than usual my body will still try to go at its 'usual' time which will be in the middle of the cycling trip. I am terrified of defecating in a field at the side of the road incase someone sees me. (Urinating in a field doesn't bother me, but defecating takes longer and there's a bigger chance of someone seeing me.) And I'm terrified of having an accident in front of other people, because having an accident as an adult is seen in a very bad light. I don't even know how I'd clean myself up in this situation, since I can't really go into a pub/restaurant or any place that has a bathroom after I've had an accident.
Does anyone have any advice? I really want to do this trip but I just can't face the thought of having an accident. Thanks for any help anyone can give.

silverharp

relax, nobody cares, any jogger ,cyclist or hiker will have been caught out at some stage. If its early in the morning and west cork there will be nobody about. Either check your route for forest areas in advance or just keep an eye out for a field with some trees or other cover and have a packet of wipes handy. If you have a fear of having an accident bring a second pair of shorts. Dont let it spoil your day and have fun, it sounds great.

Stone Deaf 4evr

https://www.amazon.com/Potty-Packs-Sh-Kit-Single/dp/B01M3O0EWN
Everything you need in one convenient pack, including a bag if you want to clean up after yourself. You can always buy those items individually and make your own kit if you're worried they won't be there in time.

AndrewJRenko

Immodium or Arret tablets are available over the counter, and are pretty good at blocking up your system for 12-24 hours.

Big Bag of Chips

Your fear is probably irrational, but that doesn't make it any less real for you.

Are there any petrol stations along your route? How long will the cycle last? If you feel the urge to go do you have to go immediately or can you hold it? If you've never suffered IBS then it's unlikely you will get an attack that morning. Although being anxious can mess with your system a little.

If you have baby wipes and a plastic bag to throw them in to you'll be fine. What is the likelihood of another person coming along and hopping the exact same gate, at the exact same time?

You have your fear, but you need to sit down and logically write out worst case scenario... And most likely scenario. Even in the worst case scenario, what's the worst that can happen after that?
-Someone sees you? They turn away embarrassed, you finish up and cycle off and never see each other again.
-You have an accident? A change of clothes and a packet of baby wipes, cleans you up.

Neither situation is the end of the world. People won't be half an interested in you as you fear they will be.

Hannibal_Smith

Distraction. When you feel the panic or worry coming on, distract yourself. Eg, count how many cars of a certain colour you can see. Or how many lampposts between the point you're at and the next junction. It really does work.

Mutter123

“relax, nobody cares, any jogger ,cyclist or hiker will have been caught out at some stage. If its early in the morning and west cork there will be nobody about. Either check your route for forest areas in advance or just keep an eye out for a field with some trees or other cover and have a packet of wipes handy. If you have a fear of having an accident bring a second pair of shorts. Dont let it spoil your day and have fun, it sounds great.”


I've actually had to go in the Nagle Mountains before, but the Nagles is one of the most isolated areas I've ever been to, so there wasn't as much worry about being seen. But maybe the route I'm taking will be the same in the early hours.


"https://www.amazon.com/Potty-Packs-S.../dp/B01M3O0EWN
Everything you need in one convenient pack, including a bag if you want to clean up after yourself. You can always buy those items individually and make your own kit if you're worried they won't be there in time.”


Thanks, but it won't ship in time so I'll buy them in town.


“Immodium or Arret tablets are available over the counter, and are pretty good at blocking up your system for 12-24 hours.”


I'm not really worried about getting dioreah, what I'm worried about is a regular bowel movement that happens at an inconvienient time, it usually happens if I get up several hours earlier than usual. I don't think you're supposed to take immodium for normal bowel movements.


“Your fear is probably irrational, but that doesn't make it any less real for you.

Are there any petrol stations along your route? How long will the cycle last? If you feel the urge to go do you have to go immediately or can you hold it? If you've never suffered IBS then it's unlikely you will get an attack that morning. Although being anxious can mess with your system a little.”


At least three hours I would say, though it's hard to calculate when you factor in hills and wind speed. I may be able to hold on for an hour or more or may need to go within the next fifteen minutes, usually it's the first one so fingers crossed! No petrol stations that I can see but plenty of fields, should be ok.

“If you have baby wipes and a plastic bag to throw them in to you'll be fine. What is the likelihood of another person coming along and hopping the exact same gate, at the exact same time?

You have your fear, but you need to sit down and logically write out worst case scenario... And most likely scenario. Even in the worst case scenario, what's the worst that can happen after that?
-Someone sees you? They turn away embarrassed, you finish up and cycle off and never see each other again.
-You have an accident? A change of clothes and a packet of baby wipes, cleans you up.

Neither situation is the end of the world. People won't be half an interested in you as you fear they will be.”


I was thinking this myself but I think I just needed to hear it from someone else. I always had this thought “my life is ruined if I am seen defecating/after having an accident,” but it will be people I'll never see again.






“Distraction. When you feel the panic or worry coming on, distract yourself. Eg, count how many cars of a certain colour you can see. Or how many lampposts between the point you're at and the next junction. It really does work.”


I was once walking home and needed to go really badly, I did some breathing excercises to calm me down and I managed to get to a bathroom in time. I think a method like you describe could really help.


Thanks to everyone for your help. I think I can see now that this isn't something to worry about, the worst that can happen really isn't that bad.

Hannibal_Smith

With distraction it will build your confidence up over time. ie it will work the first time, then the second time you need to use it, you'll also have the faith that it worked before. And it will build up over time.

Big Bag of Chips

Mutter123 wrote: »

the worst that can happen really isn't that bad.

Exactly!

This is something that you should repeat to yourself. And something that should probably be stickied at the top of the forum!

Enjoy your cycle.

the_pen_turner

i suffer in a simialar way
it is in my head.
if there is a toilet near by im fine and might not need to go for the whole day. as soon as there is not toilet availible i will want to go. it usually affects me if i have to go on a bus , be a passenger or drive a long journey with someone.
not much you can do to stop it. i take imodium if i have to go anywhere like that. im ok if im driving alone becasue i know i can pull in if i need to. usually i never need to go .
i know where every toilet imaginable in on my usual routes traveled. you get good at spotting them and working out where they would be by looking for frosted glass and manholes on the ground

my advice would be to use imodiums (bring them as well ) and a change of clothes (bottom half at least) and a few bin bags. bring some of those packets of tissues with you and a small pack of baby wipes.
dont be afraid to pull in. i have on ocasion .
just choose your spt as you go along. like in 100 yards there is a gate with a hedge that gives good privacy. you mightnt need that spot so you will stay going , as you do look out for your next spot . this will keep your mind active and give you an emergancy location to pull into.
i often find that i 'need' to go but can get over it by planning where im going to go in an emergancy and can usually get to a public loo

AndrewJRenko

Mutter123 wrote: »

I'm not really worried about getting dioreah, what I'm worried about is a regular bowel movement that happens at an inconvienient time, it usually happens if I get up several hours earlier than usual. I don't think you're supposed to take immodium for normal bowel movements.

It's not unusual to use them in this way. I'd use them if I'm going to an outdoor gig or anything where toilet facilities are limited or missing. I know wheelchair users who would use them when travelling to avoid the chance of not being able to find or use the facilties.

Mutter123

“i suffer in a simialar way
it is in my head.
if there is a toilet near by im fine and might not need to go for the whole day. as soon as there is not toilet availible i will want to go. it usually affects me if i have to go on a bus , be a passenger or drive a long journey with someone.
not much you can do to stop it. i take imodium if i have to go anywhere like that. im ok if im driving alone becasue i know i can pull in if i need to. usually i never need to go .
i know where every toilet imaginable in on my usual routes traveled. you get good at spotting them and working out where they would be by looking for frosted glass and manholes on the ground”


For me it can go either way, sometimes when I have no toilet access I don't need to go despite the fact that I logically should need to, as if my body 'knows' it has to wait for a while, other times I will need to go really badly, but as soon as I get into my house I barely need to go at all, as if the panic's over because I have toilet access again.
There'll probably be very few toilets open when I'm going but plenty of empty fields so that's what I'll primarily be relying on.


my advice would be to use imodiums (bring them as well ) and a change of clothes (bottom half at least) and a few bin bags. bring some of those packets of tissues with you and a small pack of baby wipes.


I'm still a bit weary of taking the immodium. I'll probably buy a packet and decide on the morning if I want to use it or not, it's not really designed for healthy bowel movements that just happen to come at an inconvienient time.


'dont be afraid to pull in. i have on ocasion .
just choose your spt as you go along. like in 100 yards there is a gate with a hedge that gives good privacy. you mightnt need that spot so you will stay going , as you do look out for your next spot . this will keep your mind active and give you an emergancy location to pull into.
i often find that i 'need' to go but can get over it by planning where im going to go in an emergancy and can usually get to a public loo'


I haven't worried about needing to go in the Nagle mountains since I had to go when I was there, it wasn't the most fun experience but now I don't worry about it anymore, I know when I'm there that that option is available to me.

Paddy Cow

Could you take a mild laxative the night before so that you have a movement in the morning?

Mutter123

"Could you take a mild laxative the night before so that you have a movement in the morning?"

I'd be afraid it wouldn't work until the middle of the cycle. I've decided to buy some imodium but am in two minds as to whether to take it, and I'll be prepared to go in a field, or in the unlikely event of an accident clean myself.

Another thing that might help with my situation, the more I think about it there's a good chance I'll need to go when I'm passing the airport. I presume the airport's open in the early hours of the morning. This could solve the whole problem quite neatly. Would they give you hassle if you just went in to use the toilet and leave like they do in some restaurants or pubs? Also does the airport have any good places to leave bikes? (If anyone reading this read my previous thread on my airport anxiety, just to clarify it is the process of travelling that makes me nervous not using facilities that happen to be in an airport.)

kunst nugget

I think you're over-analysing this in a very unhealthy way, OP. I'm not trying to diagnose you but it reads like you suffer from intrusive thoughts. Would you consider CBT- cognitive behavioral therapy to help you?

.......

This post has been deleted.

Mutter123

p { margin-bottom: 0.25cm; line-height: 120%; } “I think you're over-analysing this in a very unhealthy way, OP. I'm not trying to diagnose you but it reads like you suffer from intrusive thoughts. Would you consider CBT- cognitive behavioral therapy to help you?”


I do suffer from intrusive thoughts, I've known this for a few years. I've been very reluctant to get any kind of therapy because I spent over a thousand on counselling a few years ago and it made no difference, while things I've done myself (such as regular excercise), have made a great difference. In any case there won't be time, I'm planning to do the cycle this Friday.


“But you are not planning to take it on a daily basis to handle bowel movements that come at an inconvenient time. Its a once off.”


When you put it like that maybe it'll be ok, I'll consider it.


“I used to suffer with IBS and had a lot of anxiety about toilets being available. The problem is, the anxiety makes the situation worse.

Given this thread and your recent thread I would really advise you to seek out some mindfullness courses to help you with your anxiety or speak to your GP about controlling it.

Building things up to much bigger than they are in your head with worry is really not healthy for you and will give you negative thought patterns.

Being really blunt, the absolute worst that could happen is that you could **** yourself in public. That happens to people sometimes and it is really not the big deal you imagine - especially if you bring clean clothes, wipes and a bag for dirty stuff.”


I'm going to talk to my doctor about all this when I get back from the trip, but I'm afraid of gambling my money on something that might not work.

Paddy Cow

Mutter123 wrote: »

I'd be afraid it wouldn't work until the middle of the cycle.

Why didn't I think of that?

Mutter123

Hi all, well today I've arrived in West Cork, there were no problems, went before I left the house, went again in the airport, and that was it, no need for imodium even. Thanks to everyone for your help, the situation has worked out really well and I'm really happy to be here.