Lovestruck bug?

LegacyUser

Apologies if this is the wrong forum, to be honest it's kind of a hard one to pinpoint.

Basically, I kind of think I'm in love and it's killing me. I'm 19 and have met this girl three times. We met on a night out briefly, about ten days later we met again and ended up being inseparable for the entirety of the night. Just yesterday a first date of sorts was had where we spent the entire day together and it was great.

The only problem is, is that since after our second meeting earlier this week I've been lovesick. Getting very broken sleep and general restlessness, a loss of appetite and strangely as of now, tearfulness (along with spells of the other symptoms which I cannot link to).

I have anxiety and maybe it links to that but I also feel that it might be tying into the fact that last week I was really depressed with loneliness. All I've ever done is shift and drift and have never been in a relationship but these feelings really suck.

bmwguy

Go with it, sounds like it's going well. I've been there and so have a lot of others.
Just don't get too clingy too early or tell her about your feelings so early in the fledgling relationship. Play it cool. Show interest alright and let it be known you like her but not so much you can't sleep!

LegacyUser

bmwguy wrote: »

Go with it, sounds like it's going well. I've been there and so have a lot of others.
Just don't get too clingy too early or tell her about your feelings so early in the fledgling relationship. Play it cool. Show interest alright and let it be known you like her but not so much you can't sleep!

That's the point I made to a friend. Yeah it sucks that I have these feelings but as long as it doesn't impact on her it's all good.

leggo

You know how some people say the best part of any relationship is when you meet first and are crazy about each other? Yeah, I hate that part. I get a bit of anxiety now and then too, especially around uncertainty, so I hate the part where you like them but you don't know if it's going to lead to anything, you worry about stupid stuff like if you're texting too much or too little, you're not sure if they like you as much as you like them, all that jazz. The ideal part for me is when things are a bit more settled down the line, you're still mad about each other but you know where you stand.

How I've learned to deal with it, personally, is that I'll stay somewhat actively single (though weaning myself away from it if I want it to go somewhere) until things are more bedded down and committed. That way I still feel somewhat in control of my love life and like I'm keeping my options open too. If you don't want to go that route, you can effectively do the same thing by just distracting yourself, start a book/boxset or something like that and engage your brain in different ways so you're not always focusing on this.

Also, though it doesn't get rid of the feelings, try to understand that the emotions you're experiencing are hormones more than actual love. It's infatuation working its way through your system and it's natural. So the things that are stressing you, even if they were to happen, wouldn't actually ruin your life. You don't know this person that well yet, you've no life ties to them or anything like that. If the worst case scenario happened today, you'd be fine again within a few days. If you recognise the emotions for what they are then you'll be able to understand and fight them better.

Lastly, the one that's easy to say but hard to do, enjoy it. Try and accept that you can't control love and emotions and all that stuff and remember that it's supposed to be fun. What will happen will happen and it'll hopefully all be great, so just strap yourself in and go along for the ride.

LegacyUser

leggo wrote: »

You know how some people say the best part of any relationship is when you meet first and are crazy about each other? Yeah, I hate that part. I get a bit of anxiety now and then too, especially around uncertainty, so I hate the part where you like them but you don't know if it's going to lead to anything, you worry about stupid stuff like if you're texting too much or too little, you're not sure if they like you as much as you like them, all that jazz. The ideal part for me is when things are a bit more settled down the line, you're still mad about each other but you know where you stand.

How I've learned to deal with it, personally, is that I'll stay somewhat actively single (though weaning myself away from it if I want it to go somewhere) until things are more bedded down and committed. That way I still feel somewhat in control of my love life and like I'm keeping my options open too. If you don't want to go that route, you can effectively do the same thing by just distracting yourself, start a book/boxset or something like that and engage your brain in different ways so you're not always focusing on this.

Also, though it doesn't get rid of the feelings, try to understand that the emotions you're experiencing are hormones more than actual love. It's infatuation working its way through your system and it's natural. So the things that are stressing you, even if they were to happen, wouldn't actually ruin your life. You don't know this person that well yet, you've no life ties to them or anything like that. If the worst case scenario happened today, you'd be fine again within a few days. If you recognise the emotions for what they are then you'll be able to understand and fight them better.

Lastly, the one that's easy to say but hard to do, enjoy it. Try and accept that you can't control love and emotions and all that stuff and remember that it's supposed to be fun. What will happen will happen and it'll hopefully all be great, so just strap yourself in and go along for the ride.

Thanks for the reply.
I've tried to keep myself as busy and as social as possible, putting it out there on social media too just to show that I have a life and am not solely dependent on her company.
To be honest I'm overcoming these feelings and am back to work tomorrow after a week off so that'll help a great deal.