Need_Help

LegacyUser

Hi all.

I am pretty much very shook.

Last night a friend of mine confided in me that she has been making several attempts at commiting suicide recently, one of which was an overdoes (I was completely unaware of this) and the other through buying rope. There have been other several attempts but I am not aware of the details.

She stayed with me last night so I could keep an eye on her. I called samartians, aware and 999 last night not sure what to do. Got through to Pieta house and hopefully she will agree to going there (she seemed to be last night). This girl has a good job, degrees, is really good looking, but a bad family support as she is gay and a bit isolated from them.

I decided to reach out to her brother (although if she knew I did that she would kill me) but he is in India traveling. She has a very very small social circle and this is a bit overwhelming for me. I dont' know what to do.

She was adamant on going to work today even though I said not to. She wants to go off with her dad today but I just think she needs to get into Pieta house. I don't know if I should conat her dad... he is a religious type and this has not helped her in the past.

Feeling a bit helpless and confused and overwhlemed.

Neyite

You did the right thing by contacting the professionals. They also might be able to guide you better too. To be honest, I would not contact her family if they've been unsupportive of her - let her and the professionals make that decision.

Xterminator

A family that has consistently let her down might make matters worse.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

I'll go against the grain and say tell the family or accompany her to tell them with her permission. It's too much pressure for one person. I'm pretty sure Pieta works on a family basis too. Either way she needs counselling, has something spurred on the recent attempts? Had you any joy with the brother?
While they may not have been supportive in past the severity of the issue may help them see the light. Mind yourself in all this too.

LegacyUser

Ah my heart goes out to you, as this is a lot of pressure for you to feel responsible for. Ultimately as hard as it is for you to watch, you have to let her do her thing, and figure it out.

The fact that she confided in you is excellent, as it means that she knows deep down that suicide isn't the answer. Pieta house do excellent work, but only have the capacity to offer approx 12 counselling sessions, which realistically is no where near enough. Longer term she needs to talk to her GP and get into the public health system. Private anything is possible, but depends on funds/health insurance.

As for you, I sadly know exactly what you are going through, although I didn't know until after a thankfully failed attempt. While I can't even begin to understand what suicidal people are going through, being friends with them and watching them suffer is tough going too. I know I panicked when I didn't get replies to messages, and was wondering if anything had happened to them, or if they brushed off meeting up, etc or didn't get out of bed for days.
It hit me badly, and took me a very long time to realise that while I could try and be there and be supportive, I could not be responsible for them, nor could I make them better.

You've got an awful shock, and it will take time for you to begin to adjust to living with it. While being there for your friend, make sure to look after yourself and have your own supports to help you. It is a tough long road, but it is passable.

Best of luck and don't forget about being kind to yourself while looking out for your friend.

Airyfairy12

Her family have shown themselves to be unsupportive. My family is very similar and prefer to bury their head in the sand, nothing will change their mind and if anything they could potentially make the whole situation worse. If they feel pressured by an outsider they could potentially lash out at her, you cannot force people to care.
She needs to get herself to Pieta.

Augme

I think contacting her family is a terrible idea. It's quite clear they have had a negative impact on her mental health so I have no idea why you would consider contacting them in this situation if your aim is to help your friend.