Foreign wedding advice needed

Nu-Centz

Hi folks,

Myself and the missis are looking to get married abroad, except we havent a clue where to start. What we are thinking:

• Maybe in Spain
• Somewhere near an Airport with a decent bit of inward/outward traffic, for example Barcelona/Malaga airports
• Somewhere lively enough for people in late 20's and early thirties, but not mental for those older relatives
• Perhaps looking at a Villa for the wedding day itself and reception

What I am looking for is feedback from weddings you have been too abroad, more so Spain but certainly happy to entertain anywhere else which meets the above criteria. What made it good? the area, hotel.. etc.. any recommendations?

we are under pressure to get the ball rolling here because we want to do it at the tail end of next summer, or sept/oct.. but we havent a clue where to start.

Your opinions would be much appreciated.

All the best

Ayuntamiento

Nu-Centz wrote: »

Hi folks,

Myself and the missis are looking to get married abroad, except we havent a clue where to start. What we are thinking:

• Maybe in Spain
• Somewhere near an Airport with a decent bit of inward/outward traffic, for example Barcelona/Malaga airports
• Somewhere lively enough for people in late 20's and early thirties, but not mental for those older relatives
• Perhaps looking at a Villa for the wedding day itself and reception

What I am looking for is feedback from weddings you have been too abroad, more so Spain but certainly happy to entertain anywhere else which meets the above criteria. What made it good? the area, hotel.. etc.. any recommendations?

we are under pressure to get the ball rolling here because we want to do it at the tail end of next summer, or sept/oct.. but we havent a clue where to start.

Your opinions would be much appreciated.

All the best

You will have to apply to the Dept of Foreign Affairs for a certificate of freedom to marry in order to get married in many European countries.
This can take quite a few weeks I believe so i'd sort it out now!

Spanish Eyes

Congratulations. And now comes the bad bit.

Will all your guests be able to afford a destination wedding, will they be able and/or willing to give up precious annual leave to go somewhere they may not have chosen for holidays themselves. Does everyone get along. Where will the guests stay, will it be easy to get to from the airport, will it be affordable, are kids invited, if not who will mind them back home for three or four days. yadda yadda.

Not trying to rain on your parade, but destination weddings are grand for B+G but often not so much for the guests.

Please think it through. Fine if you are only having a small gig with immediate family though.

Anyway, if you google wedding planners Costa Del Sol or wherever, you might get some info.

JustAThought

I've turned down all overseas (apart from uk) wedding invites. My close friends are still offended as I was 'expected'to be a guaranteed .

They are hugely expensive for the guests.

You have to use up your valuable holiday days to go.

You also have to persuade your partner to use up their holiday days to go. This starts a row over holidays and Christmas.

You probably will be short changing yourself on the actual holiday you would like to take to go.

Your cashmere suite does not like being sweated into in 30°C heat.

Your leather shoes will hurt all day in that heat and you can't wear flipflops.

You will have to navigate a road language and roads you don't know to get to the destination in the hire car you need because the villa is never on a bus route or inexpensive taxi route.

You are invariably asked to do jobs like lug candelabras from home to the venue, or bring the m-i-l's spare hat or suite bag, or knick knacks for the tables etc

The b/g will be super stressed for weeks in advance and you will feel.like you are doing time for murder every time you get together because of all the wedding stress and problems talk you have to put up.

It is always always no matter what is promised SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than the original expensive start price and you will.never be allowed complain about this as a guest.


Suggestion :before you bring all this trouble on yourself if you have no particular reason for bring all this trouble on yourself,consider the abovery from your guests point of view.

Edit: If you get married in a church in france for example you used to have to do a registry office thing also -IN ADVANCE - and not on the same day. Not sure if it is the same in Spain. Another unforseen problem to worry about and have to figure out in a country you don't know and a system you don't understand.

The Davestator

JustAThought wrote: »

I've turned down all overseas (apart from uk) wedding invites. My close friends are still offended as I was 'expected'to be a guaranteed .

They are hugely expensive for the guests.

You have to use up your valuable holiday days to go.

You also have to persuade your partner to use up their holiday days to go. This starts a row over holidays and Christmas.

You probably will be short changing yourself on the actual holiday you would like to take to go.

Your cashmere suite does not like being sweated into in 30°C heat.

Your leather shoes will hurt all day in that heat and you can't wear flipflops.

You will have to navigate a road language and roads you don't know to get to the destination in the hire car you need because the villa is never on a bus route or inexpensive taxi route.

You are invariably asked to do jobs like lug candelabras from home to the venue, or bring the m-i-l's spare hat or suite bag, or knick knacks for the tables etc

The b/g will be super stressed for weeks in advance and you will feel.like you are doing time for murder every time you get together because of all the wedding stress and problems talk you have to put up.

It is always always no matter what is promised SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than the original expensive start price and you will.never be allowed complain about this as a guest.


Suggestion :before you bring all this trouble on yourself if you have no particular reason for bring all this trouble on yourself,consider the abovery from your guests point of view.

Edit: If you get married in a church in france for example you used to have to do a registry office thing also -IN ADVANCE - and not on the same day. Not sure if it is the same in Spain. Another unforseen problem to worry about and have to figure out in a country you don't know and a system you don't understand.

So you've never been to a foreign wedding, but are an expert?!

Go for it OP. People will either go for a week and make it their holidays, or go for the weekend if you have it on a Saturday so no holidays needed.

Frisbee

We had our wedding in Spain two weeks ago. Same thing you are looking at. We had ceremony, dinner & afters all in the villa. We kept our guest list very small, about 45 people and of that 42 came. It's a lot to ask of people so we laid on a free bar for the day of the wedding and all day the next day which people seemed to really appreciate.

Our direct families came out for a full week. Most of our mates did Fri-Mon and so took two days holidays.

zoobizoo

Factor in the cost to each guest - Flights, accom, transport and present.... are you willing for people not to travel because they can't afford it, don't want to fork out that money for you, can't take time off, or have kids and mightn't be able to?

Many people have a foreign wedding to save themselves ten grand or so but the cost of the actual wedding is 100 guests x €400 / €500 per guest excluding a present.

What's the motivation for going abroad?



I've been to a wedding in Italy and it was nice. Good food, good weather until it started torrential raining after the ceremony and rain continued intermittently throughout the day.

Nice setting - close to Sienna. Great food as you'd expect and beautiful views.

I've also seen a beautiful wedding venue in Italy (we were there on honeymoon) that if I was doing it all again, and if my friends were all in their late 20s / early 30s and I could guarantee that everyone would come, I'd consider it. At that age people aren't jaded by wedding fatigue and there aren't too many kids about.

If we had booked our wedding abroad, I'd say we'd have reduced our numbers by 70% to be mainly close family and best friends.

Spanish Eyes

I once got an invitation to a wedding in Hawaii.

I didn't go.

I did go to a wedding in Nerja. Pain in the proverbial. Sorry maybe I am just an oul grouch. Too hot, too far to travel to the venue from any decently priced accom. Was not going to stay in a villa with six other couples either. My worst nightmare. There is more but I will stay civil.

Just saying. I think destination weddings should be for immediate family only. But I am a a barrell of laughs obviously.

Always sounds good on paper and is so exciting. But the reality can be far from it for guests.

Unless you are very wealthy and look after guests' every need all hours of the day before, during and after. That's grand, but I don't have wealthy friends. Sometimes they think they are though! But the guests pay the price in reality.

freshpopcorn

This advice is not meant to snappy. Don't tell people they'll be able to make their Summer holiday out of it. I find it really rubs people up the wrong way.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

JustAThought wrote: »

I've turned down all overseas (apart from uk) wedding invites. My close friends are still offended as I was 'expected'to be a guaranteed ....

Doom 'n gloom over here, jesus christ.

Could have been more negative, 6/10 for effort.

OP, Get married where you want, look after the people who you really want there (siblings, parents, best mates), if other's cannot make it, so what. In fact, having a smaller crowd might work to your advantage Don't get upset if somebody cannot make it as these weddings can be quite expensive.

Brother got married recently, most of his mates from Australia came home for it, others from the UK and Germany. Some from Ireland couldn't make it an hour down the road for it. Do what you and your OH wants and listen to nobody else, that's my advice.

Bets of luck with it

Ann_Landers

Odin Howling Traffic wrote: »

Brother got married recently, most of his mates from Australia came home for it, others from the UK and Germany. Some from Ireland couldn't make it an hour down the road for it.

This is awful, the non-attendees from Ireland being judged for it. It might be closer than Australia but that doesn't mean the Irish people can afford to go. And in the first paragraph, you acknowledged that they are expensive but yet still get in a dig at the Irish non-attendees. This is what I dislike about foreign weddings. Despite people saying "Don't go if you don't want to or can't afford it", there are always people who are expected to be there and if they don't go, people are put out. My parents couldn't afford to go a foreign wedding a few years ago and some people are still not talking to them over it.

freshpopcorn

freshpopcorn wrote: »

This advice is not meant to snappy. Don't tell people they'll be able to make their Summer holiday out of it. I find it really rubs people up the wrong way.

It sort of makes sense though. I've been to two weddings abroad in the past and have one later this summer also and all three were and will be my summer holiday for the year also.

Foreign weddings are ok and I enjoyed them but at the same time they have only been 3 out of about 20 wedding s over the last few years if they were more common it would become a bit of effort so I'd take into account how often your friends have had to travel for weddings. Being honest for my own wedding going abroad is not something that would interest me.

freshpopcorn

Bradley Itchy Seaweed wrote: »

It sort of makes sense though. I've been to two weddings abroad in the past and have one later this summer also and all three were and will be my summer holiday for the year also.

It's just a phrase I find rubs people up the wrong way. If you have holiday plans all ready made or thought of. You've sometimes have to decide to pick either the wedding or the Summer holiday of your choosing. It's a phrase I find people use to make you feel like their wedding abroad is saving you money when in my experience it isn't.

Electric Sheep

freshpopcorn wrote: »

It's just a phrase I find rubs people up the wrong way. If you have holiday plans all ready made or thought of. You've sometimes have to decide to pick either the wedding or the Summer holiday of your choosing. It's a phrase I find people use to make you feel like their wedding abroad is saving you money when in my experience it isn't.

Nobody wants to base their holiday around someone else's wedding. I find destination weddings incredibly self centered and would only attend for close family.

noveltea

I got married this year in Malta. What sold malta for me was reasonable flights from Dublin, they speak English, drive same side of road and is small enough to get around.

Keep in mind not everyone you want will be able to make your wedding. And there will always be someone not happy but at the end of the day it's your wedding and you have to do what is right for you.

julyjane

Friends of ours got married in a nice city in the UK. They had no connection to it other than just liking it. Flights were cheap and short, it was off season so accommodation was reasonably priced, over 100 of us travelled for 2 nights and had a right good session without spending a fortune. The exchange rate was poor at the time but the drink over there was cheaper than most hotels here so we didn't feel it. Brought about £100 and spent it.

Personally I'd like to get married abroad with no guests and have some kind of a low key party when we get home

Ann_Landers

julyjane wrote: »

Personally I'd like to get married abroad with no guests and have some kind of a low key party when we get home

That's a good idea. Beware if you ever do this that some people see the function at home after as an exercise in gift-harvesting. I've actually heard a bit of cynicism towards the function at home in my own circles. I think it's a bit unfair myself, most couples will throw the party in good faith.

julyjane

Ann_Landers wrote: »

That's a good idea. Beware if you ever do this that some people see the function at home after as an exercise in gift-harvesting. I've actually heard a bit of cynicism towards the function at home in my own circles. I think it's a bit unfair myself, most couples will throw the party in good faith.

That's what I was afraid of but the older we get the less we care what others think. Anyone who doesn't like it needn't go and won't be missed, life is ours we live it our way

I know a few people who do think like that and they'd also be the first ones to have something negative to say about seeing "your presence is a present" on the invite.

Ann_Landers

julyjane wrote: »

That's what I was afraid of but the older we get the less we care what others think. Anyone who doesn't like it needn't go and won't be missed, life is ours we live it our way

I know a few people who do think like that and they'd also be the first ones to have something negative to say about seeing "your presence is a present" on the invite.

I know, it seems like whatever you do, someone will take it up the wrong way!

theteal

OP, your criteria is pointing at Nerja. Its about a half hour drive east of malaga. Its been a while since I've been there but it was very reasonably priced back then - I'm aware it has become very popular for Irish weddings in recent years so perhaps this has changed. Its not a huge town, has a good mix of quiet pub/restaurants and busy night spots for the younger crowd. Nice beach too.

We stayed a week in a 10 sleeper villa (3 couples, 4 bachelors) with private pool a minute from that beach at a cost of ~€70 a head. September iirc. Brilliant week.

As mentioned, you'll probably have to get legally hitched beforehand in a reg office at home, then just have a symbolic ceremony away.

Just remember, do whats right for you, its an invite, not a summons, don't listen to people moaning about choice of venue and don't get offended if people can't go.

Spanish Eyes

Weddings should be private. Just B+G, two witnesses and officiator.

Solve all this sht.

Then have the wedding of your choice in Outer Mongolia afterwards if you want to.

And have a party back home if you want to also. Personally I wouldn't it's all ridiculous. No one remembers afterwards apart from the food, the music and the expense of it all on them.

Bah Humbug.

Weddings are generally a pain in the rear end.

cactusgal

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Weddings should be private. Just B+G, two witnesses and officiator.

Solve all this sht.

Then have the wedding of your choice in Outer Mongolia afterwards if you want to.

And have a party back home if you want to also. Personally I wouldn't it's all ridiculous. No one remembers afterwards apart from the food, the music and the expense of it all on them.

Bah Humbug.

Weddings are generally a pain in the rear end.

Why do you keep posting on this forum if you hate weddings so much?

Genuine question.

GingerLily

cactusgal wrote: »

Why do you keep posting on this forum if you hate weddings so much?

Genuine question.

It's cool to moan about weddings! Didn't you get the memo?

Toots

Mod note:

The OP asked for advice, not to be vilified for having a wedding abroad. If you can't post anything helpful or constructive, please don't post at all.

Spanish Eyes, do not post in this thread again.

Colser

Nerja in Spain seems to be hugely popular and I've heard only good things from people who've attended weddings there.I been there on holiday and it's a lovely spot.

I've been to Rome for a wedding and it was fantastic.The accommodation is weird there as we were all allocated different places but all close to each other.That was 8 years ago and a group of 60 ish....we would all go back if they ever renew their vows.ðŸ˜

Go for it OP and enjoy.

susign

My wife and I got married in Rome a few years back. Wedding abroad wasn't our first choice but we are delighted we went for it.

We went on a 3 day holiday the year before to see the church, visit hotels and restaurants and so on to get prices and so on. It was a bit of work mpre than a holiday but I would highly recommend that from our experience.

Try get info on where in Spain is good for Irish weddings, (if Spain is your first choice that is) Boards.ie lead us to San Silvestro Cathedral in Rome where many irish couple go for Rome weddings. You're using a good forum so that's a good start

Try your best get contact details of priests and email them in advance to arrange for a quick visit to discuss the wedding, this is where the benefits of going to a church who do irish weddings abroad pay off. They will know all the leagal stuff and advise you on what you need to bring for that end of it.

Email restaurants and hotels to arrange appointments during your visit, this saves you so much time and stress when you're there.

I hope this helps.

Congratulations and best of luck with the planning

Toots

I think the location and time of year will be important in terms of how much it costs for the guests. Areas within reach of Barcelona or Malaga airports are good because there's daily flights in and out, so if some people wanted to go to for 2 days as opposed to a week, it wouldn't be a problem.

I was at a wedding near Nerja a few years ago and it was very nice. My only complaint was that the villa for the reception had very limited accommodation and could only be reached by car so it did put extra expense on the guests. However, it was in mid May, so not the high season yet and flights weren't as dear as they would be later in the summer.

The weather was gorgeous, very warm and sunny, but not insanely hot. They had a cocktail hour and people could comfortably mill around and not feel like passing out from the heat.

In terms of number of guests, my advice is budget as if you're going to have a 100% acceptance rate. The couple whose wedding I went to had invited around 100 or so, expecting that only half would actually come. Turned out they got something like 3 declines, so it ended up costing way more than they expected :pac:

susign

Toots wrote:

In terms of number of guests, my advice is budget as if you're going to have a 100% acceptance rate. The couple whose wedding I went to had invited around 100 or so, expecting that only half would actually come. Turned out they got something like 3 declines, so it ended up costing way more than they expected

Yes, the invitations are an important point I forgot to mention. We just verbally invited people, not a single written invitation sent. The only reason being we knew there might have been a little risk of running into politics.

We had many people who couldn't come due to time or financial limitations but ended up with 38 guests. The positive side is anyone that could manage to go to all of the effort to come were very close family or friends which made the wedding more special. Most made a week holiday of it and did their own thing but we met up for a meal and drink most nights coming up to and after the wedding day itself. I think that helps enjoy it even more as the big day can be stressful for the bride and goes too quickly to enjoy

siofraban

susign wrote: »

My wife and I got married in Rome a few years back. Wedding abroad wasn't our first choice but we are delighted we went for it.

We went on a 3 day holiday the year before to see the church, visit hotels and restaurants and so on to get prices and so on. It was a bit of work mpre than a holiday but I would highly recommend that from our experience.

Try get info on where in Spain is good for Irish weddings, (if Spain is your first choice that is) Boards.ie lead us to San Silvestro Cathedral in Rome where many irish couple go for Rome weddings. You're using a good forum so that's a good start

Try your best get contact details of priests and email them in advance to arrange for a quick visit to discuss the wedding, this is where the benefits of going to a church who do irish weddings abroad pay off. They will know all the leagal stuff and advise you on what you need to bring for that end of it.

Email restaurants and hotels to arrange appointments during your visit, this saves you so much time and stress when you're there.

I hope this helps.

Congratulations and best of luck with the planning

Delighted to hear someone having a fabulous experience in Rome! I am getting married in Rome next year too! Looking forward to it but also a little nervous as i just want everyone to enjoy the day. We are getting married in San Silvestro and going over in October to find a venue. Would love to hear more about your wedding if you don't mind 😊