pregnant after miscarriage

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I'm a regular boards user but going un-reg for this one. I had a mc a few months ago and was just devastated by it and have recently fallen pregnant again. But I'm absolutely terrified all the time. I can't relax and I'm just constantly waiting for something to go wrong. I've had a reassurance scan and everything went well. We could see the heartbeat and the doctor was pleased with the progress but I'm just a nervous wreck. Has anyone else been through this? I'm really happy that I'm pregnant again but because I know how quickly everything can go wrong, I'm struggling to relax and just be thankful that it's happened again and that everything looks good so far. I'm really just looking for others who have been through this and might have some advice.

Clashmore

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 15 weeks, we were devastated. Found getting stuck into work helped. I got pregnant again 6 months later, and had a small bleed at 6 weeks and totally panicked it was happening again. I had a scan at 6 weeks, 9 weeks and 12 weeks. The rest of the pregnancy was normal after that. I now have a happy healthy 2.5 year old and a 2 week old. It is hard, you panic over the smallest things. I learned to trust my body and the midwives in the hospital, made sure I attended all appointments and asked questions if I had any queries or concerns. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and u will have a little bundle of joy in your arms before you know it.

Clashmore

PhoenixParker

scaredy cat wrote: »

Hi there,

I'm a regular boards user but going un-reg for this one. I had a mc a few months ago and was just devastated by it and have recently fallen pregnant again. But I'm absolutely terrified all the time. I can't relax and I'm just constantly waiting for something to go wrong. I've had a reassurance scan and everything went well. We could see the heartbeat and the doctor was pleased with the progress but I'm just a nervous wreck. Has anyone else been through this? I'm really happy that I'm pregnant again but because I know how quickly everything can go wrong, I'm struggling to relax and just be thankful that it's happened again and that everything looks good so far. I'm really just looking for others who have been through this and might have some advice.

Your mileage may vary and it will depend a lot on your personality whether it helps, but I found a Doppler invaluable for reassurance in the same scenario. I bought one after I read a survey in r/miscarriage on Reddit where 95% of people who'd used them found it reassuring. They're about €50

You need to be about twelve weeks along for it to work reliably.

Loveinapril

I really feel for you, OP. I could have written your post 4 months ago. I miscarried my first pregnancy in September and got pregnant in February. I was an absolute mess of anxiety, constantly "feeling" blood etc. with no such thing. I cried more during the start of this pregnancy about the miscarriage than I did when I actually lost the baby. I tried to stay busy and every night, when I got through another day I allowed myself to feel reassured. I am just over 5 months now and although everything is good, I still worry a bit as the next scan/ appointmemt nears. I feel like I won't be happy til I am holding my kid!

I would personally advise against getting a doppler. They aren't very reliable and it can cause unnecessary panic if you can't find the heartbeat because you are untrained. My GP couldn't find the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago and just had to give up. A few days later, another GP found it but it took ages. They weren't that worried but when you are in our position, I think you should leave that stuff to the professionals.

catrionanic

Once you've heard a heartbeat on a scan, the chance of a miscarriage goes way way way down. So you should be reassured by that.

anndub

It'll be a year tomorrow that I miscarried my first pregnancy. Right now I'm sitting here holding my beautiful 5 week old daughter. I wouldn't have believed that if you had told me that a year ago.

I used to imagine the feeling of spotting too and every trip to the loo for those first few weeks took intense mental preparation. It does get easier with time but I did over worry for the entire pregnancy. I don't think I really believed she existed until she was born.

I started a similar thread in October when I found out I was pregnant and got lots of great advice. It's probably not too far back if you fancy a look.

seamus

We were in the same boat. My wife was always on edge through the pregnancy, we were well into the last trimester before she would go shopping or consider setting up the baby's room, etc. Even though the mc was at 11 weeks she had a "block" in her mind telling her not to get her hopes up. She said it never really went away until right near the end.

We already had a 3 year old, which helped a lot both in terms of keeping us busy but also in knowing that things do work out fine. The second is 5 months now.

One thing she mentioned was that she felt she should have spoken to a counselor about it, if even just a couple of sessions. That's probably an avenue you should look at. They won't be able to relieve your fears, but at the very least can provide you with coping techniques.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for the replies and sharing your stories. It's so nice to know I'm not alone and this is probably just a normal albeit horrible part of the experience under the circumstances. I'm really trying to keep calm and not stress out too much but it is really difficult but it's so good to know that others have come out the other side and lived to tell the tale. x

shesty

Bled early in both pregnancies.Thankfully I have two happy healthy babies but I was scared for both.All the way.I don't prepare baby rooms at all and I don't buy baby clothes til well into the third trimester.Just too nervous.Not all pregnant women are sailing through in a cloud of bliss.All you can do is hope, and try to managed the nerves as best you can.

whiskeyman

We went through it also.
It was awful, but thankfully we got pregnant within the same year. Like you, we were very nervous and no where near as complacent this time around... not that we were anyway, as we were fully aware of high rates of MCs.
Thankfully all went perfect, and if anything we don't take any of it for granted.
Our little man is all that more special in our eyes.
The weeks go by that bit slower and yes , you do worry... but try your best not to. Positive thinking was v important and literally each day that went by and each scan was a huge step forward.
I wish you and your partner all the very best.