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Looking for mother

  • 29-06-2017 7:15pm
    #1
    1982girlie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1 ✭


    I am looking for advice. I was given up for adoption in 1982 in Ireland. It's never been spoken about within my family. I would like to trace my biological mother but I don't have a lot of information yet. I do wonder if we have gone this long without contact then she may not want to be found.
    I don't know what to do for the best.


Comments

  • #2
    BottleOfSmoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭BottleOfSmoke


    She may be feeling that she shouldn't intrude in your life, and is waiting for you to make the next move. Or she may not welcome contact. You can't know. But you can do what's right for yourself. Think of all the possibilities, good and bad, and then assess whether you can deal with them all. Only you can know if you're ready.
    There is a process to go through official sources with a social worker, there are queues, and it can take a long time. It's possible to research things yourself. If you look back through threads in this forum, you'll see links to guides put together by people just like you.

    Edited: want to add that the trace guides are a sticky at the top of this forum.


  • #3
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    1982girlie do you know the first name your birth mother gave you? Your adoptive parents may know. Will you tell them you are going to look for your birth mother? They may have correspondence from when you were adopted which may help in your search. Firstly you should register with the National Adoption Contact Preference Register. Chances are your bmum or indeed another relative may have also registered and you would be matched that way. If you know which agency dealt with your adoption (ask parents) write to them requesting non identifying information. Though it won't give a lot of info it might give your bmum's first name, age at the time and general area from where she came. Ask them to initiate a trace - at least have your name on the list. Depending on which part of the country your adoption agency is in you could be waiting a while. Check out the trace guides as suggested and work through them. I found my husbands bmum using the guide. It's like piecing together a jigsaw and takes time and patience but hopefully will be worth it. Your birth mother, like the majority, was probably told to go off and forget about you and was probably told she was never to look for you.


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