Meeting people through facebook

whoopsadoodles

Have you, or do you know anyone who has met someone through a PM on facebook. Be it friend or partner.

I don't mean through groups with similar interests, but from one person just PMing another person based on seeing them post?

I don't know how I feel about it, I know it happens on boards, but I feel like that's different though I have no basis for that thought in truth. Obviously Tinder/POF etc are built to do exactly that but that's the reason everyone is there. Just feels a bit odd on FB.

Have you ever messaged someone on social media hoping to get chatting/meet up with them based on their pic. Have you been the person messaged and did you ever respond?

Am I wrong to think it's different to boards etc?

Kimbot

Whoops, its akin to boards etc in fairness. I have messaged a few and received a few messages with people on fb over the years and I would consider them as friends cos we still chat. I have hooked up with a few too :P

razorblunt

I'd consider it similar to Boards too.
Friend of mine though went out with a girl for a couple of years after they met on FB.
He had just joined and was by admittance, late to the game of social media, he missed the chatroom phase entirely.

He thought that FB was similar, find a girl you like and chat away.

In hindsight he's stated he must have looked like an absolute creep to some girls, though he also added there were lots of girls doing the same thing. When he broke up he went through his friendlist and said there were a couple of dozen he deleted as they never went anywhere past chat and he felt weird seeing their updates!

LadyMacBeth_

I have had people try to add me that I don't know at all, but I ignore those. Don't think I've ever gotten a random message though. Somehow I think it is a bit different to boards, at least on boards you'd be interacting with people on thread and you might get chatting about something, but I assume that starting a conversation with someone on facebook is just based on their looks alone, well, unless their profile is public and you like their interests etc. I don't know, I can't exactly say why but I'd find it a bit creepy, even though I wouldn't find it creepy on boards at all and I have used the likes of tinder before, but like you said Whoops, everyone knows that's why they are on tinder, for the purpose of chatting to strangers. Facebook is generally supposed to be about connecting with people you already know I guess.

PandaPoo

I've done it a few times on boards, actually more than a few.

Never done it on favebook though, if anyone I don't know tries to add me and sends me a message I just ignore it.

Ubbquittious

jonnycivic wrote: »

Whoops, its akin to boards etc in fairness. I have messaged a few and received a few messages with people on fb over the years and I would consider them as friends cos we still chat. I have hooked up with a few too :P

I always found facebook people were less receptive to receiving a PM from a stranger than on boards or other forums. On here you might see someone you have something in common with or want to ask something without polluting the thread and you PM them and a conversation starts from there.

Facebook people are more like "who is this person? why are they messaging me? I don't know them"

Kimbot

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I always found facebook people were less receptive to receiving a PM from a stranger than on boards or other forums. On here you might see someone you have something in common with or want to ask something without polluting the thread and you PM them and a conversation starts from there.

Facebook people are more like "who is this person? why are they messaging me? I don't know them"

Yeah, my experiences would be from a few years ago tho when people didnt think like that on the internet :P

Burial.

Before Tinder I used use Facebook as an online dating site. It was pretty handy actually. None of the swiping and waiting for a match nonsense just go for it and see what happens. Facebook was also a good way of displaying yourself other than just pictures and a witty bio on Tinder. Facebook's abundance of pictures also helped to see what aul dolls actually looked like behind the pristine makeup, filters and face pics strategically chopped off below the neck.

Probably wouldn't have the same joy now as back then. Facebook is a very angry place now, not as innocent and friendly and aul dolls have gotten very defensive and in general slapped arse facey on there. Couldn't be arsed with the drama that goes with the territory on there now.

Neyite

I was at a friends wedding with no +1. There was another guest at the table and I don't think I spoke to him directly at any point, just general chatter around the table. When I got back home the next day I had a friend request and a message asking me out. It was flattering and he was very apologetic for contacting me after I explained I wasn't single. I thought fair play to him for asking at least - and being gracious about being turned down.

If I had been single, and didn't live the other side of the country from him, I think I'd have gone on a date at least, he was a nice looking guy and seemed to be good fun. There wouldn't be as much risk though given that I could always ask the bride and groom what he's like.

whoopsadoodles

You used to not see the messages that non friends sent as they went into an "other" inbox which you might check once a month. Now they come straight through though you get the choice to accept or ignore them. I ignore, but I was thinking earlier "sure who'd even respond to those kind of messages" and then was thinking if it was boards, I would. Not the completely creepy ones of course, which I've gotten on both, but to normal chatty ones.

So I did have to remind myself that I'd answer them here, and wondered why I thought that was normal but FB wasn't.

whoopsadoodles

Neyite wrote: »

I was at a friends wedding with no +1. There was another guest at the table and I don't think I spoke to him directly at any point, just general chatter around the table. When I got back home the next day I had a friend request and a message asking me out. It was flattering and he was very apologetic for contacting me after I explained I wasn't single. I thought fair play to him for asking at least - and being gracious about being turned down.

If I had been single, and didn't live the other side of the country from him, I think I'd have gone on a date at least, he was a nice looking guy and seemed to be good fun. There wouldn't be as much risk though given that I could always ask the bride and groom what he's like.

I had a guy track me down on FB after chatting to him on a night out with friends. He remembered my name but I wasn't local so he then found somewhere my friend mentioned, got to her, added her so he could add me (i had "only friends of friends selected). Was mad but fair play to him. It didn't go anywhere but you can't blame a lad for trying

norabattie

Friend of mine met her partner on FB. They liked similar pages and eventually added each other as friends. After 6 months or so they started private messaging / skyp'ing to the point where he moved bags and baggage from American to Ireland November 2015 and they are living in bliss so far.
I also made a friend from South Carolina on Buddytv ( another girl with similar likes in tv shows). It took 3 years before we added each other on Fb but I consider her a great friend - and we tell each other a lot. It was kinda weird at the start but we have kids similar ages etc and now it just feels like a cousin who you don't meet all that often.

Victor

It's a bit freaky when they try it on Twitter.

dalyaaltulaihi

it's totally normal to meet up with people after meeting them online, it's another way of making lifelong friends.

whoopsadoodles

dalyaaltulaihi wrote: »

it's totally normal to meet up with people after meeting them online, it's another way of making lifelong friends.

Oh I agree, my favourite people on the planet are ones I met online. It was specifically the PMing someone you had seen commenting on a FB post i wondered about.

dalyaaltulaihi

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Oh I agree, my favourite people on the planet are ones I met online. It was specifically the PMing someone you had seen commenting on a FB post i wondered about.

yes that's totally normal, i know a few people who travelled to meet up with others where they started talking to through a random post on a page that they both commented on and then started PMing eachother afterwards. with facebook it's difficult to know whether the other person is using a fake account or not but you know it's nothing a video call can't fix

Kimbot

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Oh I agree, my favourite people on the planet are ones I met online. It was specifically the PMing someone you had seen commenting on a FB post i wondered about.

Before the invention of FB I met alot of my current friends through the internet. Similar interests etc. So much so that one of the girls I met is practically family at this stage.

The girl i mentioned wrote on a newspaper article last week on FB and some lad starting PM'ing her in an effort to get to know her better and try get it on with her.

Bambi985

I would've thought it's quite a common extension to the tinders and the okcupids of the dating world. Meet someone at a house party or whatever, find one another on facebook, bit of banter back and forth in messages and then ask her/him out. I certainly remember that being normal enough when I was single and would wake up after nights out with new friend requests.

I'd say that type of thing would go down a lot better than the cold-messaging, "I saw your profile and thought I'd say hi" kind of thing. I remember discovering that "other" inbox on facebook a few years ago and recoiling in horror. Dodgy messages attached to bizarre facebook profiles. "U R beauuutiful can i to chat" from Ramen in Turkey kind of shyte.

BetsyEllen

I find it a bit weird.

I rec'd a message from a guy on PoF, totally not my type and I didn't reply.
We have a mutual friend on FB so he must have recognised me from 'people you may know' or something.

A couple of days later I receive a 'message request' from him on FB along with a friend request. The message was something along the lines of - I saw you on PoF, you ignored me but I really want to get to know you so can we chat on here?

If I ignored you on PoF then why on earth would I suddenly add you as a friend on FB?
I blocked him.

Then again, I've become friendly with a couple of people from PM'ing on here and in one instance it led to swapping numbers and chatting as friends for a while offline too.
I also sold some gig tickets once to a guy through Boards and he's now one of my very closest mates, has been for about 5 years now.

So I guess it depends on how you approach the person and what the intentions are.

Boom_Bap

Many years ago when Skype was just a new thing, our company used it for internal messaging as nobody else was using it, I got a contact request from some girl out of the blue. I've 2 kids with her now

dalyaaltulaihi

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Many years ago when Skype was just a new thing, our company used it for internal messaging as nobody else was using it, I got a contact request from some girl out of the blue. I've 2 kids with her now

i love this

whoopsadoodles

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Many years ago when Skype was just a new thing, our company used it for internal messaging as nobody else was using it, I got a contact request from some girl out of the blue. I've 2 kids with her now

I knew you could get viruses over skype but that's bit mad.

Boom_Bap

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

I knew you could get viruses over skype but that's bit mad.

So I need to upgrade my AV software is what you are saying

Kimbot

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Many years ago when Skype was just a new thing, our company used it for internal messaging as nobody else was using it, I got a contact request from some girl out of the blue. I've 2 kids with her now

Jesus, you got pregnant twice from a skype friend request.... im staying away from that :eek:

LuckyLloyd

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

You used to not see the messages that non friends sent as they went into an "other" inbox which you might check once a month. Now they come straight through though you get the choice to accept or ignore them. I ignore, but I was thinking earlier "sure who'd even respond to those kind of messages" and then was thinking if it was boards, I would. Not the completely creepy ones of course, which I've gotten on both, but to normal chatty ones.

So I did have to remind myself that I'd answer them here, and wondered why I thought that was normal but FB wasn't.

I never used to check it, was completely unaware of it in fact. About two years ago someone sent me a message that went into that folder and I didn't notice it until about seven months later. Basically, the messager had been at an event I was also at, we knew some mutual people on facebook and she messaged me basically asking me out. I was actually impressed by it to be honest - why not like? If I'd have seen the message in a timely fashion I'd have definitely been open to a conversation at the very least.

I'd honestly find that less weird than someone PMing you out of the blue on a message board, if it was for the purposes of getting to know someone romantically.

osarusan

I don't think I have any friends on facebook that I don't know in real life.

I've had friend requests from a few people because we are in the same groups, but I ignore those.

No random chatting or messages from strangers (apart from the friend requests above) - I think I had grown out of that habit by the time I joined facebook, but I do remember doing it on skype alright.