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LDN18

so after 4 yrs of trying to conceive and 3 failed IUI's we got a BFP,had a scan last week and brought back in today fir another scan which resulted in not finding a heartbeat and saying it's a miss carriage(our first)

Absolutely gutted can't even explain how terrible I feel and the OH.

What happens now,when can we start trying again?

Loveinapril

I am so very sorry to read that. Usually if you miscarry without medical intervention, they advise waiting 1-3 months. I know that the risk of infection is higher if you have had medical intervention. Maybe ask at the hospital to make sure. Your body will take a while to return to normal with hormones and stuff so be aware of that. It took us five months to get pregnant after my miscarriage (also our first). Please mind yourself and each other. Snuggle days in bed, eat rubbish, nap loads and cry when you want x

Neyite

I'm so sorry for your loss

Your clinic will best advise you. At the moment it sounds like a missed miscarriage so they may either wait to see if she begins to miscarry naturally or if she will need medical help on that.

Once that happens you will know where you stand a bit better. If she miscarries completely without intervention or complication then there is no reason you could not try again right away but they do advise that you wait a cycle at least, mainly for dating purposes but your clinic will advise you on that.

In terms of what you can expect now - well physically, she will begin to bleed, and if not may be prescribed something to help that process start. At 8-9 weeks it will be similar to a heavy, sore period, with a bit more clots than a period and it's likely that she will feel the sac passing. At 8 weeks mine was the size of the yolk of an egg. The HCG hormone gradually reduces in the bloodstream/ urine as more products of conception are shed. When the blood level is below 5 or when a pregnancy test is negative, then that indicates that she has passed all the tissue.

Practically, she wont be able to use tampons or menstrual cups, so heavy duty pads are best. On my second one, I actually had no pads in the house when I began to bleed so I used a baby nappy, opened up under tight fitting pants, and that actually was a brilliant solution as it coped with the bleeding and clots when it was at it's heaviest without leaking.

Emotionally it can depend. Each miscarriage is different and whatever way you need to mourn this is ok. Sometimes people take time off, others prefer to work through it. Some rest, some keep busy. Do whatever works for you both. Many EPU's offer a bereavement service for miscarriage patients so look into that - again, some find it really helpful, others not so much.

Mind yourselves.