Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

New bf couldn't perform

  • 26-06-2017 10:28am
    #1
    throwaway1986
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Ive been seeing a guy for about a month now. Its been going really well and we click better than anyone ive ever met. Yesterday was the first time we had/attempted sex. He had no issue getting hard initially but he couldn't keep it up. I tried to help, to no avail. Now, this is not an issue for me. But he was really embarrassed, practically ran out the door home. He did text when he got home to apologise and thank me for meeting up. I replied thinking him for a brilliant day, making no reference to his apology or the end of the evening. But now I'm not sure where to go from here? I really like him and don't want to lose him. Any advice would be extremely appreciated


Comments

  • #2
    readyletsgo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,276 ✭✭✭readyletsgo


    throwaway1986 wrote: »
    Ive been seeing a guy for about a month now. Its been going really well and we click better than anyone ive ever met. Yesterday was the first time we had/attempted sex. He had no issue getting hard initially but he couldn't keep it up. I tried to help, to no avail. Now, this is not an issue for me. But he was really embarrassed, practically ran out the door home. He did text when he got home to apologise and thank me for meeting up. I replied thinking him for a brilliant day, making no reference to his apology or the end of the evening. But now I'm not sure where to go from here? I really like him and don't want to lose him. Any advice would be extremely appreciated

    He was probably just really nervous about it. Maybe built it up too much in his head over the month and his body just panicked most likely, happened to me a few times.

    I guess you could say not to worry about it, move on and give it another go.


  • #3
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    He might have just been nervous, it happens. Tbh he's over reacting and making a big deal over nothing, just tell him you don't care about it.


  • #4
    readyletsgo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,276 ✭✭✭readyletsgo


    Airyfairy12 wrote: »
    He might have just been nervous, it happens. Tbh he's over reacting and making a big deal over nothing, just tell him you don't care about it.

    It can be a big deal for guys.


  • #5
    LirW
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    When I met my partner we had this situation too and it turned out that he was really self-conscious because it was a huge deal previously. We talked about it and it reassured him, if it's not working then there is another time. Soon after that there wasn't any problem because he felt really comfortable and safe.


  • #6
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Ah yeah it happens, for your part just try and stay relaxed about it and don't add to the pressure. If it were me I'd have seen to the lady's needs even if my own mechanics were letting me down on the night.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey op, I'm a guy in my 30s and had a similar situation a few years ago after a long term relationship I was in ended.

    A combination of nerves and anxiety about having sex with someone new totally messed up my mind and ability to perform in bed.

    I never once had an issue in a 10+ year relationship then suddenly had lots of issues. I could get it up initially, then couldn't stay up. Condoms were a nightmare. Instant boner killer...

    It took me a while to get back to normal, best thing to do is talk about it, instead of ignoring it and it becoming a bigggr issue. explain it's not an issue for you to put his mind at ease.


Advertisement