Bottom Wipes

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

Do you go for the Andrex with tea tree oil balm or the cheapest own brand where you daren't let your fingernails get out of check?

I'm often flummoxed and go for something mid-range.

KungPao

I just use bog roll.

tomwaterford

Rob whatevers in the public toilets



Thank god the recession is over

DontThankMe

I wipe my arse with €50 notes cos the boom is back baby.

endacl

Wire brush and dettol.

KungPao

DontThankMe wrote: »

I wipe my arse with €50 notes cos the boom is back baby.

Will you give them to me when you're finished?

Robsweezie

just use your hands.

Rumpy Pumpy

Invest in a bidet for your home. One minute of tepid water into your badge is better than two hours of meditation.

Diarmuidin

Do you suffer vaginosis op?

Rumpy Pumpy

Diarmuidin wrote: »

Do you suffer vaginosis op?

Why do you presume that the OP has a twig and berries, or a ripped out fireplace?

Diarmuidin

You seem aquatinted to the ops privates?

Surreptitious

I get the most expensive one as I appreciate my anal cavity. Remember the ones they had years ago that were shiny and took no sh1t from no man? I don't want to go back to those days.

Stigura

Fiver, for a pack of about eighteen rolls, down the creamery

God knows what they're called. Who cares? Every bit as good as anything advertised on TV. with puppies.

Blue roll of paper towel too: Make mugga tea. Spoon out tea bag. Squeeze tea bag with fingers. (Maybe think to) rinse fingers under tap. Wipe fingers on towel. Towel f**king destroyed!

No. I bought a Blue Roll, weeks ago. It's fantastic! Paid for itself, long ago, in what it would have cost me in washing bloody hand towels!

KKkitty

KungPao wrote: »

Will you give them to me when you're finished?

Watch out! You could be done for money laundering

gerrybbadd

Pack of cheap baby wipes. No more rubbing the hole off yourself for a half hour, trying to get the hoop clean.

Zaph

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Pack of cheap baby wipes. No more rubbing the hole off yourself for a half hour, trying to get the hoop clean.

As long as you don't flush them you're grand. Unless of course you particularly enjoy effluent coming out of your, and potentially also your neighbours' drains. In that case, fire away.

Samuri Suicide

Left hand and water style for me ala Hindu style.
Would you wipe bird **** off your face with a dry towel?

Atoms for Peace

TP for my bung hole

Winterlong

Safe to say that we have now hit the low point of topics to discuss in After hours.

LadyMacBeth_

The missus is German so she insists on getting toilet wipes. I don't like having a wet hole after wiping though so I stick to the old reliable toilet paper.

Boom_Bap

Preferably with Aloe Vera or Shea Butter.

But the TP with the daisies on it is the best.

Jim Bob Scratcher

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

The missus is German so she insists on getting toilet wipes. I don't like having a wet hole after wiping though so I stick to the old reliable toilet paper.

Why not just wipe your choc box with wet wipes and use a bit of toilet paper after to dry it up :pac:

Jrop

Charmin 24 rolls for a tenner is yer only man

me_irl

My sh*t tickets need to be at least 3 ply.

Red is not a good colour to see after you finish wiping.

Alf Veedersane

I use Andrex puppies.

Boom_Bap

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

I use Andrex puppies.

Do you hose them down afterwards for re-use?

myshirt

Yeah, I agree, thank god the recession is over.

Whoever had the bright idea of inventing the Toilet Brush you are a bad, bad man. Definitely not a suitable substitute for Toilet Paper. Why it ever caught on and so many were sold god only knows.

Alf Veedersane

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Do you hose them down afterwards for re-use?

That's disgusting!!!

They go in the washing machine. Only on 30 degrees, though. You wouldn't want them overheating.

uch

I just use a baby sponge and wash away all me worries

Surreptitious

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Pack of cheap baby wipes. No more rubbing the hole off yourself for a half hour, trying to get the hoop clean.

How big is your ass btw?

ToddyDoody

I just use j cloths and rinse them out in the sink afterwards.

Glenster

I don't get why dry paper is the norm.

if your elbow got sh*t on it you wouldn't wipe it with paper towels until the paper towel didn't pick up anymore residue. you'd use water. Right?

everlast75

Winterlong wrote: »

Safe to say that we have now hit the low point of topics to discuss in After hours.

Agreed. OP has hit a bum note

mdwexford

These are your only man, €1.50 in Dealz, pat dry with toilet roll after. Bum is always fresh then in case you get any rimming offers.

thelad95

Glenster wrote: »

I don't get why dry paper is the norm.

if your elbow got sh*t on it you wouldn't wipe it with paper towels until the paper towel didn't pick up anymore residue. you'd use water. Right?

Because wet wipes clog up pipes and sewage systems.

munster87

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

Do you go for the Andrex with tea tree oil balm or the cheapest own brand where you daren't let your fingernails get out of check?

I'm often flummoxed and go for something mid-range.

Depends on who's arse I'm wiping

Jobs OXO

http://www.mtv.com/news/1715032/sandra-bullock-demolition-man-seashells/