Girlfriend very talkative in person, but barely responds to calls or messages

LegacyUser

I'm a lad (18) I've been going out with this girl (19) for about 9 months . We have similar interests, similar sense of humour, it's all going pretty well. We've both been introduced to each other's social circles and she's always fun to be with.

The only thing that's making me wonder a bit is this: When we meet in person, say on a night out or a date, she's very talkative and good fun to be around. However, when I send her a text message or call her, or send her a message on FB, she will rarely respond, and if she does, she will text back maybe once or twice before leaving me on read.

I'm the one starting 95% of the conversations, and she's normally the first one to say "I have to go"

Whenever I ask her about this (in person), the reply is always somewhat silly. I've gotten stuff like "Oh, I updated Spotify there a few days ago and my phone has been constantly freezing ever since" or "I think there's something wrong with the password on my phone so I didn't want to send anything". I've flat out told her that it'd be nice if she texted back more often.

Once I didn't message her to see how long it would take for her to start a conversation and it took no less than 10 days before she decided to give me a call, which did contain a remark about me "being really good at going off the grid".

Now I understand that nobody likes somebody pestering them with texts, but all I'm sending her is maybe 2 or 3 messages a week max.

I also understand that some people aren't big into social media and messaging (hell, she doesn't even have snapchat) but it's becoming a real barrier, since when we meet up for a date it's like starting from square one again due to the lack of communication since the previous date.

Is this a red flag of sorts? I'd imagine that in any relationship it's not too far-fetched to expect a reply to the occasional message I send. It's making me feel like I am way way down on her list of priorities.

I'm just looking for advice here because I'm not really sure what the best course of action is with the situation. It's pretty difficult to maintain a relationship where there is little to no communication between dates.

Any and all advice appreciated.

Mr. Incognito

Eeryone is different.

Some people are texters, come people like to call, some dont do either.

I'd much prefer someone who is light on social media and phone use than someone who is glued to their phone.

She pays you attention in real life. Call her regularly and stop fretting.

silverharp

the whole thing sounds a bit compartmentalised for sure. At 18 you should be having fun and not stressing trying to keep complicated relationships going.

December2012

Are you texting at a time when she can respond? If somebody texts me during my work Day or while I'm putting my child to bed I don't remember to respond.

For me, about 8.30 am is a good time

homerjay2005

as previously said, everybody is a bit different but she seems to be a bit socially inept if she doesnt contact you for 10 days - that would be my only real concern here.

how often do ye actually see each other?

Pelvis

This has nothing to do with people being a "bit different" imo.

wewewewewewewewew wrote: »

Once I didn't message her to see how long it would take for her to start a conversation and it took no less than 10 days before she decided to give me a call

It honestly sounds like she's just not arsed.