Sick of spending money.

Hollister11

I'm 21, going into 4rd year of computer science in college. I'm sick of spending money. Every week someone in the group chat goes 'Pints'. 'football' 'a few quiet ones' 'night out' ect and I'm so ****ing sick of it as it always seems to cost at least €50. I don't work by choice, so I can focus on college, and even now over the summer I'm doing prep work for 4th year. I need a new laptop and this is going to cost the guts of a grand. By the looks of things I'm going to have to find a job ot build up to funds again.

If I keep saying no, I will loose my friends, but If I keep saying yes I'll spend all my money.

Any ideas?

Stheno

Go out every couple of weeks as opposed to every week?

TimeToShine

So you didn't work by choice so you could focus on college...and instead you spend the free time on the beer and hungover?

Get a job methinks. At least for the summer and take it from there.

via4

could you go & not drink maybe x

Hollister11

TimeToShine wrote: »

So you didn't work by choice so you could focus on college...and instead you spend the free time on the beer and hungover?

Get a job methinks. At least for the summer and take it from there.

I don't get hungover.

I also don't want a job.

road_high

Hollister11 wrote: »

I'm 21, going into 4rd year of computer science in college. I'm sick of spending money. Every week someone in the group chat goes 'Pints'. 'football' 'a few quiet ones' 'night out' ect and I'm so ****ing sick of it as it always seems to cost at least €50. I don't work by choice, so I can focus on college, and even now over the summer I'm doing prep work for 4th year. I need a new laptop and this is going to cost the guts of a grand. By the looks of things I'm going to have to find a job ot build up to funds again.

If I keep saying no, I will loose my friends, but If I keep saying yes I'll spend all my money.

Any ideas?

You don't work ("by choice") but yet moan about having no money- welcome to the real world sunshine
Can't have it every way I'm afraid....

Hollister11

road_high wrote: »

You don't work ("by choice") but yet moan about having no money- welcome to the real world sunshine
Can't have it every way I'm afraid....

I have worked previously and saved up quite a decent sum. But it gets eaten every week by my mates who constantly wan't to be going out.

Stheno

Hollister11 wrote: »

I also don't want a job.

Where do you get the money to go out, get a 1000 euro laptop , pay for day to day expenses?

December2012

Suggest things that don't cost money?

But realistically lots of people enjoy pints or drinks or things that cost money.

Only other suggestion is not to go. Do you expect your friends to not go out because you don't want to? You're not being forced to go

Hollister11

Stheno wrote: »

Where do you get the money to go out, get a 1000 euro laptop , pay for day to day expenses?

From previous jobs. I spend half of last summer in construction FT. And i worked in retail 18months back. I can a decent sum to keep me going..

miezekatze

Maybe just don't go every time, or suggest meeting at someone's house instead and stay there, or drink less when you go out. Bit silly to be spending 50 € on one evening in a pub if you're stuck for cash.

Ursus Horribilis

If your friends are genuine friends, you're not going to lose (not loose!!!) them just because you don't go out with them every single time you're invited. Can you not go out less often or organise things that won't cost so much money?

Would your world really end if you have to work during this summer? I'm sure most of your classmates don't have the luxury of taking the summer off just to concentrate on their course. Can you not work on the laptop when you're not working? Or work for a few weeks then give up the job?

Flibble

Don't drink? I used to just tell my friends I was opting out of rounds & would drink water/blackcurrant. Yes, cheap & stingy, but when you're broke & still want a social life sometimes you have to become the butt of a few jokes :P

You just need to make better choices. Your friends are not at fault here, I get the impression you resent them for constantly organising things- you're not obligated to go to every single thing, you know.

Mongfinder General

OP, where are you based?

o1s1n

Hollister11 wrote: »

I have worked previously and saved up quite a decent sum. But it gets eaten every week by my mates who constantly wan't to be going out.

Well then don't go out. Jesus it's not that difficult a problem to fix.

I have lots of friends who always want to go out. I don't go out with them all the time. Why? Because I'd have no money left. And I actually have a job.

fishy_fishy

Get a job for the summer! Doesn't have to be an 8-8 gig, just get something that'll give you breathing room.

You don't need to work at college stuff all summer. You just don't. I spent the summer before final year in the states on a J1. I came first in my class. Your mind needs a bit of a break from it as well.

I never worked during the college year, but jeez OP. I worked during the summer.

Your friends are being reasonable. Going out once a week? Like that's not excessive. But if you insist on not working then you are risking being left out. It's your choice to make. Right now you're behaving a bit petulantly with "I don't want to work! I don't want to spend money! But I don't want to be left out!". You can't have everything. It's your choice, but you'd be mad to not get even a part time job. One or two days a of work per week would give you plenty of spending money.

RhubarbCrumble

Hollister11 wrote: »

I also don't want a job.

You don't want a job yet you're giving out because you can't afford to go out with your friends. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. You NEED to earn money to live. I'm not even talking about going out socialising, but day to day expenses, eg: your new laptop etc.
You seem almost resentful of your friends for going out enjoying themselves, but how they spend their money is their business.
I have a niece and nephew both around your age and both in college. Both of them have part time jobs and so do the majority of students to be honest. That's just how life works.

Big Bag of Chips

Your friends want to/are in a position to go out every week. They shouldn't be expected to adjust their life because you don't want to go out! They get to decide how they spend their money, and most 21 year olds like to go out!

You are part of a group chat being asked to go out. You are not getting an individual invitation. It's a suggestion. Some weeks some people won't be able to go. You don't have to spend 50 quid a week. You could go once a month. I don't want to take a dig, but, people aren't going to notice/mind if you're not there a few nights. You not going out isn't going to ruin the night for everyone else. Going out once a month, once every 6 weeks whatever will still keep you in the loop. When people go out they're more interested in enjoying their own night than watching what others are doing or who's not there. Go out and don't drink (as much). Go out less and drink when you do.

There are options. Your friends are entitled to go out as often as they can afford. You can make your own choices to do the same.

Wesser

You don't have to study 7 days a week.
You can study 3 days a week and work 2 to make cash and relax for 2.
3 days is plenty to study in the summer. More than most are doing.
If you have the cash already saved up in a lump sum for the laptop then just go and buy it and then you know how much cash you have left for the rest of the summer.
You're 21. You should be enjoying the summer. Not stuck with the head in books. Working 2 days a week would give you the right balance.

Loveinapril

If you don't want to spend money, then don't. You can suggest things that are cheaper/ free or be selective about when you actually do go out.
You seem to be moaning about nothing here. You are in a very fortunate position here where you live at home and are choosing not to work, therefore have less money than others. Of course your ability to have a social life will be impacted but you are choosing to live like this, your friends are choosing to live their lives in another way.

orthsquel

I doubt you would lose your friends if you can't go out every time. If you're feeling there's pressure, just explain you're trying to keep some funds aside for a new laptop and have to cut back on spending on non-essentials like drinking for a while. Arrange to catch up with them in other ways, pop into them for a while to catch up. You shouldn't feel you have to go out and spend your money if you can't afford it in the long run, I doubt your friends would want you to be broke because of being out with them, or you ending up feeling pressured to go out whenever it's suggested or being resentful because you feel you have to go when you can't afford it in the long run.

Neames

Hollister11 wrote: »

I'm 21, going into 4rd year of computer science in college. I'm sick of spending money. Every week someone in the group chat goes 'Pints'. 'football' 'a few quiet ones' 'night out' ect and I'm so ****ing sick of it as it always seems to cost at least €50. I don't work by choice, so I can focus on college, and even now over the summer I'm doing prep work for 4th year. I need a new laptop and this is going to cost the guts of a grand. By the looks of things I'm going to have to find a job ot build up to funds again.

If I keep saying no, I will loose my friends, but If I keep saying yes I'll spend all my money.

Any ideas?

It's not either or.

You don't have to go out every time you're asked. That will save you money.

Plus couldn't you do a few nixers in your area of expertise to earn a few quid? That will allow you to earn some money.

Anyway, what's the difficulty with even doing 20 or 30 hours per week of paid employment over the Summer? It'll look good on your CV and you'll have extra cash.

LegacyUser

Hollister11 wrote: »

If I keep saying no, I will loose my friends

don't sound like friends worth keeping if they'll drop you for not going out every single weekend. I didn't go out every weekend in college and had plenty of friends.

Pac1Man

Prep work for college? Sounds like BS and an excuse so you don't have to work.

A couple days a week would at least cover the going out expenses.

woodchuck

Look, it's your choice not to work over the summer. I don't see what kind of college work you could be doing before the year has even begun, it sounds like you just don't want to work. Which is fair enough, except it doesn't give you a right to complain about not having money!

Just because your friends want to go out, doesn't mean you have to go out with them every time. Figure out how often you can afford to go out and/or try to do it on the cheap. For example, stick to minerals instead of alcohol on nights out. Get the last bus home instead of a taxi etc.

It's not your friends fault that you choose not to work and therefore don't have any money.

witchgirl26

OP I was one of those who didn't work during the college year (bar the very odd weekend at an old job) to focus on the work but I worked every summer without fail to build up cash to last me through the year. And to be able to afford things like my laptop. My parents didn't mind me not working during the college year but if I'd been at home "prepping" for the next year during the summer I would have had some earful from them.

In terms of pints or nights out or whatever, go to what you can afford or want to go to and leave the rest. You don't have to go to everything. Sometimes I didn't because I just didn't feel like it. It didn't cause me to lose friends and if it does, well that says a lot about the friendship.

Sometimes I don't particularly want to have a job (like when I have to get up early and am comfortable) but I would like to do things and have cash for them so I have a job. It's called life.

jigglypuffstuff

Hollister11 wrote: »

I'm 21, going into 4rd year of computer science in college. I'm sick of spending money. Every week someone in the group chat goes 'Pints'. 'football' 'a few quiet ones' 'night out' ect and I'm so ****ing sick of it as it always seems to cost at least €50. I don't work by choice, so I can focus on college, and even now over the summer I'm doing prep work for 4th year. I need a new laptop and this is going to cost the guts of a grand. By the looks of things I'm going to have to find a job ot build up to funds again.

If I keep saying no, I will loose my friends, but If I keep saying yes I'll spend all my money.

Any ideas?

Yes here's an idea

Be grateful you have friends to ask you to go out.. Plenty of people go through college without such a pleasant experience

Also just say no..it's not hard to...You're just making this difficult and making excuses..

My advice is start behaving in a more mature manner, learn to speak your mind, and make competent, clear, final decisions.

Also, not buying the " prep work " notion...I'm starting a second masters degree in September and frankly speaking.. College starts in September, not June..

Go and enjoy your summer before you get to the age where that's not exactly an option anymore between work, career, life and possibly kids/family

Best of luck

baby and crumble

OP presumably the €50 each time is for booze and travel, right?

Easy thing is, go out for 1-2 drinks (cordial if you're really pulling the purse strings in) and then get the last bus home. You get to go out, have a laugh, and you'll prob spend less than a tenner.

And tbh I really think you should consider not "prepping" over the summer, whatever that means. Folks are right, your brain needs a break. I never worked during the year in college, because I was lucky enough to have a very well paying summer job, which meant in 4 months over the summer I earned enough to cover myself for the other 8 months (including rent, bills and food). You just have to smart with your money. Yes, spending €50 each week on nights out is a lot- hell, I don't even spend that now and I have a fulltime job! I'd see it as a waste, so I just have 1-2 drinks and keep my costs down. I still have a great social life, and I also have money to pay for things other than drinking.

woodchuck

I also just wanted to point out that aside from money, the experience you get from working over the summer will be time much better spent than "prepping" for the coming year (again, I have no idea what you could be doing if lectures haven't started yet).

Have you worked before? If not, this is the perfect opportunity to get experience to add to your CV. When you start applying for jobs after you have your degree, employers will ask why you don't have any work experience and what you did during the summers.

Have you looked into doing work that is related to your college course? E.g. before I went into my final year of my science degree, I worked in a lab doing research for the summer. Perhaps it's too late in the day for this (funding often needs to be applied for well in advance), but worth looking into at least or maybe even doing some unpaid/volunteer work.

Eric Cartman

Hollister11 wrote: »

I also don't want a job.

forever , or just for now ?
if you never want a job then why even bother with the degree.

Get a job for the summer or go out less, those are you're only two options.

nuac

Btw, if you cannot afford rounds, opt out

True friends should not complain