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Gay but need constant reassurance or I question it

  • 22-06-2017 3:17am
    #1
    GroodyL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 ✭


    Hi,

    I'm male and in my early twenties and I'm really confused about my sexuality. I am certain I'm gay but its like I need constant reassurance of this in the form of seeing someone I'm attracted to etc and I'm not sure why I need this reassurance all the time for something I know is the case.

    I have zero attraction to women and surely that should be enough of a clue for me but its not. I'm having a really difficult time accepting that I'm gay and my family and most friends still dont know because im scared to tell them. I'm wondering is that making me try and repress it somehow?

    I feel so stupid for at times being sure I'm gay but then other times thinking oh maybe I'm not when something I know for sure is I'm not attracted to women.

    I dont understand why sometimes I question it so much and the only thing I can think of that explains it is that its a reaction from being scared of peoples reactions to me telling them.

    Does anyone have any insight or experience of this happening because I'm really confused and tired of feeling like this. Thanks a lot.


Comments

  • #2
    LimerickSports
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 187 ✭✭LimerickSports


    Yeah you definetly seem gay, it's probably just your worried about how people around you will take it , but in this day and age nearly everyone is fine with people been gay and you shouldn't be judged, I'm not gay by the way but I've seen a movie called naked lunch it's by William Burroughs who was a gay author , the movie is really weird but it's based around him suppressing his homosexuality and at times telling himself he's not gay. What your going through must be common because I know someone who was married for years and had three kids and then came out as gay. Anyway not sure this helps but just said id give my opinion


  • #3
    Nichololas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭Nichololas


    Well, being gay or straight isn't binary - the Kinsey scale does go from 0-6 - so you mightn't be 100% gay, although you seem pretty sure so I guess that isn't the issue here anyway.
    Coming out isn't easy, it's pretty normal to be overwhelmed by it, especially if you don't have many gay friends or are the first in your social circle. I would recommend joining an LGBT group (in college, or locally) if you can, and to begin telling your close friends, then working outwards. 
    FYI, many early 20-somethings (straight, gay and everywhere in between) lack self-confidence and aren't quite comfortable in their own skin. You just have coming out to contend with also. Good luck!
    ^^ P.S. Naked Lunch the movie is quite different from the novel it's based on, it adds a lot of influences drawn from Burroughs' biography, rather than being a straight (puntended) adaption. Both are worth a look, although Cronenberg definitely has better movies.


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