How old before you would let your child get up on their own in mornings?

Guffy

Now just pointing out. I work nights, or i work late rather. Just chatting with the missus there about what age is reasonable for a child to get up pour their own cereal and play with their toys or flick on the telly alone

Thoughts on age or does it completely depend on the individual child?

Hollister11

My mum still makes sure I get up for college 😂😂 Obviously I get myself up, but if I'm in late she'll come in to me at 7 and ask me do I need to get up 😂😭 She's great

pillphil

So we're saying somewhere after third year of college?

Lady is a tramp

3? 4?

I'd be only delighted if my three-year-old would do that, not a chance though, he's very attached to me. He wakes up and is all, "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY IT'S MORNINGTIME MOMMY, IT'S MORNINGTIME MOMMY, COME DOWNSTAIRS WITH ME MOMMY!"

I'd hope in a year or so he'd be managing his own cereal and TV until I get my coffee into me!

prinzeugen

When they are old enough, you will know.

Just make sure electric etc is off.

Cereal and a book.

seamus

I think my 4.5 year old would probably be well able at this stage. I mean, the first few mornings I would expect the kitchen to be a disaster zone with open boxes tipped over everywhere and milk all over the table, but she'd sort that out pretty quick.

I think if she had a very specific list of "You're allowed to do X, Y & Z. Anything else come up and ask us", she'd be fine.

Problem is that Monday to Friday she has to be dragged out of bed. On weekends she insists on coming in and standing beside the bed until someone gets up and shoos her out before she wakes the baby.

Toots

I'm in an apartment so it's slightly less hazardous seeing as he's literally in the next room when he goes into the sitting room. He's 5 now and has only started going in on his own in the last couple of months. Prior to that he was happier to get into the bed with us and watch Netflix on my ipad.

FindersKeepers

Really??? My little one is 5 and very independent can do her breakfast all by herself but the thoughts of leaving her unsupervised doesn't sit well with me one bit. Every morning I get up with her and I would be in and out of the rooms getting washed and ready while she helps herself to her breakie I couldn't imagine leaving her on her own while I sleep until at least 2nd / 3rd year. Ps - No television is allowed in the morning before school anyway so this doesn't come in to my scenario but at the weekend she wouldn't even know how to put the television on.

Lady is a tramp

FindersKeepers wrote: »

Really??? My little one is 5 and very independent can do her breakfast all by herself but the thoughts of leaving her unsupervised doesn't sit well with me one bit. Every morning I get up with her and I would be in and out of the rooms getting washed and ready while she helps herself to her breakie I couldn't imagine leaving her on her own while I sleep until at least 2nd / 3rd year. Ps - No television is allowed in the morning before school anyway so this doesn't come in to my scenario but at the weekend she wouldn't even know how to put the television on.

2nd or 3rd year, so not until she's in her teens? Sounds way OTT to me!

Of course a five-year-old should be able to turn on the television by themselves.

And if she's able to organise her own breakfast, and if she's good for following rules and behaving herself, I actually think it would be great for her if you could allow her the freedom to do it unsupervised while you stay in bed. Good for her confidence, etc - you could even start a weekend routine of her bringing you breakfast in bed!

I'm very overprotective of my little boy, but have recently started making a conscious effort to step outside my comfort zone and allow him more independence, and I can see the difference it makes to his confidence and interaction with others already. I've realised that hovering over him was always more for my own benefit than his ... he's happy to rely on me when I do the whole helicopter-parenting thing, but it's doing him no favours in the long term, so that's why I'm learning to change.

bp

My 4 year old can do everything themselves but the breakfast wouldn't be healthy....or even breakfast food! Also my house would be wrecked

FindersKeepers

I hear ya Lady is Tramp 100% I know she is capable of behaving but I don't like the idea of her being down stairs on her own while I sleep. I would be more concerned about her choking or hurting herself etc while on my watch I'd never forgive myself but look that is just me.

I've recently given her more freedom with regards to knocking in to the neighbours etc, but admittedly I am still watching her. Oh and its not that I don't think parents should get up every morning with their teenage children because they are incapable I just feel it is important to start the day off seeing your kids, having a chat over breakfast and whatever else, but again that is me! I do only have the 1 maybe when I add more to the mix I will feel differently

Neyite

Mine is 5 and.. no, not for a few years yet. I don't have a 'safe' age in my head as it will depend on abilities and common sense.

The usual reasons of mess creation I suppose but more likely that he'd spill something on his electronics or pull the TV on himself trying to reach up to turn it on or hurt himself doing something.

Moonbeam

I think it depends on the child, Mine are 8,6,4 and 3 and are well able to get themselves up and breakfast and watch tv/play games.
It depends on the kids but I would have got up sorted them and gone back to bed with the baby until she was about 2 1/2 and well able to say what she wanted etc

Lady is a tramp

Moonbeam wrote: »

I think it depends on the child, Mine are 8,6,4 and 3 and are well able to get themselves up and breakfast and watch tv/play games.
It depends on the kids but I would have got up sorted them and gone back to bed with the baby until she was about 2 1/2 and well able to say what she wanted etc

Yeah I think once you have more than one child it becomes a matter of necessity rather than choice! And it's definitely better for them.

I think that's why I'm so conscious with my boy, since he's an only child and likely to always be one, to make the effort to allow him some freedom and independence. Because I've only the one, and because custody is shared with his dad, I have the "luxury" that I could be within touching distance of him 100% of the time that I have him ... however it's not good for him and it's not healthy!

I had him at an indoor play centre the other day, and it almost killed me to allow him off playing on his own (with me watching from a distance) because I'm so used to literally following him around ready to catch him if he were to fall. But when I saw how much braver and more adventurous he was without me right behind him, it's really encouraged me to allow him to do it more often. As I said earlier, hovering over him only serves to allay my own insecurities and fears - it's not for his benefit.

So hard to figure out the right balance though!

Moonbeam

It is easier with a gang of them!
Even on school mornings they are great to get up and feed themselves,they are all capable of dressing themselves too.
I am always in more of a rush then they are!!!
I don't allow tv before school but at the weekends they are allowed Netflix.
I mostly switch on what they want via the Chromecast though the 8 year old is well capable of doing it now.

drunkmonkey

My 1yr old goes up and sorts himself with Peppa in the morning, manages 2 remotes one for the telly and the sky one.
Probably bad parenting but i'm proud of him, his older bother is no where near turning on the telly let alone finding the right channel.

nikkibikki

My now 9yr old can put on the telly since he was about 5. Maybe 4. One of us has to get up to turn off the alarm for him tho so we know he's up. He'd wait for us for breakfast tho it's more he wants to eat breakfast with us at weekends. My husband pours his cereal for him on weekdays and he pours his own milk. Just their little routine. He'd manage it by himself. His brothers are nearly 4 and they are more likely to wreck the place if left up on their own!

jester77

My 3 year old gets up at 6 every morning, he knows not to leave his room He happily plays with his toys until we get up and then we have breakfast together.

Just put a few rules in places that suit everyone and everything will work itself out.

drunkmonkey

jester77 wrote: »

My 3 year old gets up at 6 every morning, he knows not to leave his room He happily plays with his toys until we get up and then we have breakfast together.

Just put a few rules in places that suit everyone and everything will work itself out.

How did you get him to do that, i've a babygate on the door of the 3yr old to keep him in when he wakes at 6, he protests for a few minutes every morning then goes back to bed for 2hrs or so, i'm dreading when he cops on he can just climb over it..sleep is bad ebough as it is without loosing another 2hrs..

pwurple

I thought this meant how old to get themselves up, dressed fed and off to school themselves, if you left for work earlier, or had not come home yet...
I'd say about 10 for letting a responsible child do that, assuming school was walking distance and they went with friends.

For getting up and putting on toast or getting a banana...whatever, I'd say 5 or 6. My 6 year old does it. My 3 year old will get up alright, and can get her pants on, but not her top yet.
I think if I let them at a 2 litre of milk, it would be all over the floor.

TV, not a hope. The power button is on the top, they'd need a ladder. I'm not letting them do that. Also, they'd be fighting when I turned it off.

mirrorwall14

My 2.5 year old is already trying to tell alexa to play bob the builder (the theme song) so I'm guessing once we are fully automated he'll have no difficulty turning on the tv etc. Currently no where near being able to get up on his own but he knows he stays in his room until "mammys alarm" then he's immediately yelling "TIME TO GET UP" "MAMMY" "THATS MAMMYS ALARM" rofl

Edit: Oh and my other half is making an LED clock for him so that he knows from the colours when he has to stay in bed and when he is allowed out of it to play in his room and when its time to get up properly

jester77

drunkmonkey wrote: »

How did you get him to do that, i've a babygate on the door of the 3yr old to keep him in when he wakes at 6, he protests for a few minutes every morning then goes back to bed for 2hrs or so, i'm dreading when he cops on he can just climb over it..sleep is bad ebough as it is without loosing another 2hrs..

We also have a baby gate, mainly to stop them waking up half asleep and falling down the stairs. So it is always closed when they wake up so they can't go downstairs. We don't have a baby gate on the stairs going up to our bedroom so he is free to come up. But we've sent him back down plenty of times when it is too early, so he no longer even tries coming up unless something is wrong. He also has a clock in his room and knows where the hands should be before it is reasonable time to disturb us. Not sure if that helps or not - but it does help with bedtime.

He is happy to play with his toys, or if his sister is awake he will go into her room, jump into her cot and play with her or show her some books.

_Brian

From six our younger daughter would up down, get a small bowl of cereal and then back up to read a book or play in her bedroom. She liked early breakfast about six or so.
No TV, but that's a personal thing, don't do TV in the mornings, maybe for a wee while before bed in the winter. I'd say our nine year old hasn't seen any tv in a month or more.

We have a small table in the kitchen that she used when small for doing these things for herself, now a small nine she uses a chair at the worktop.

I think it's good to give them independence, she can make and ice buns herself now and just needs help with the cooker.

Her elder sister 14 is really into cooking and baking and that helps bring her along.
They can make a few different diners from scratch, pizzas, breaded chicken and fish, chicken curry, beef, deserts, bake savage sponge cakes etc.

Children are far too protected and let do nothing and I think it's a shame, I didn't learn to cook until I left home at 17 but it's a terrible thing.

pwurple

Ah yeah, they love a bit of independence as well. I got those paper sandwich bags so my 6 year old can put a toasty cheese sandwich together for herself, and does like baking and the rest. Has to be age appropriate and safe though. Plenty of children with horrible burns from pulling hot things down on top of themselves.

xzanti

My son is 6 and I couldn't imagine letting him near the toaster not a hope in Hell!

Toots

My little dude wouldn't be getting himself breakfast yet, purely because a 2 litre jug of milk would be too heavy for him to control while pouring it over cereal. We don't have a toaster, so if he wants toast myself or the hubby will do it for him under the grill. Same with the cereal, we'd put it out for him and get him a drink. He wouldn't put on the TV, if he wants to watch something he'll use a tablet, but a lot of the time he just plays with his lego or spongebob toys.

AidanadiA

My daughter was about 5 but I didn't sleep through and let her rule the roost. It was more of a growth thing as well. She'd get up, say good morning, have a cuddle, go down stairs and get her brekkie. Her brekkie was a sealed pourable tub of cereal, a small bottle/jug of "Her Milk" in the fridge with the sugar put as high up out of reach as possible. I'd come down a few minutes later. She'd be at the table having a ball, feeling all grown up.

I'd make tea and sit with her ask her what she wanted to do that day if it was the weekend, what she was looking forward to in school, about her night, dreams etc. Then we'd both go and get dressed and do "our jobs" (a list on the door: brush teeth, wash face and hands, brush hair, make bed, wash breakfast dishes) Then we'd do whatever was planned for the day. She has been able to use the telly since she was about 3, our tv was mounted, with a wall socket switch then use the remote.

Now it was just the two of us. I worked 9-5 but was awake from 5.30 daily and she was really easy going. She's 17 now and except for the fact that I'm up for hours before she is (typical teenager) and we have a different chores list on the door, it's the same. She's independant, can cook breakfast, lunch, dinner, do any household job if asked, can control the telly, laptop etc.

Guffy

We decided to wait another while to let him get up on his own. We werent sure he was ready.

He came into me on sunday morning at 6.45 (i was asleep after work at 1) i told him he has to go back to bed for another hour as its far to early.

He came back into me at 8. Great i said lets get up and have breakfast. Went into the kitchen and his bowl was on the table, box of weetabix and large carton of milk on the counter. He decided to get up himself, make his own breakfast, eat it at the table, go in and play with his cars and watch some horrid henry and tidy up befire he came up to get me again

ShaShaBear

My eldest is 3 in a few weeks and I wouldn't dream of letting her do morning on her own! Jeez, if she wakes up early in the morning (usually 8am), I can't leave her in the room for more than 20 minutes unattended or she'd set the place on fire! :pac:

harr

My lad is six, normally is up a 7 so he plays in his room or reads for about half an hour at the weekend he will head down stairs and watch a bit of television and we are up then to get breakfast for everyone at 8.
All our cereals are higher up so he can't reach but he would be well able if they were lower...he is well able to sort himself out with toast anytime of day if he wants it...he is well able to do scrambled eggs under supervision obviously.
Big believer in teaching kids to cook at an early age...he knows not to attempt cooking anything without us being with him.

iguana

Would the parents of the 5 year olds be asleep while the child was up and about? My son is 4.5 and I'd hate the idea of him being off doing his own thing while I was asleep. I'll leave him alone in a room or the garden while I do housework or chill out with my coffee but I'll always have one ear on him. I'd be very wary of leaving him awake and about while I'm asleep, depending on what could go wrong there isn't much difference between being asleep or out of the house.