Six times, same pair of white shoes.

Masterofballs

As Edie took in her surroundings of a modern bar within the city center she was feeling very agitated, usually she would be impressed with the copper lanterns and the chic and elegant wall coverings and more so with the fancy cocktail menu but today was just iced water with a sliver of lemon, not wanting to seem to be taken advantage she had ordered a chocolate pot with fresh raspberries and some sort of pistachio crisp which she had not got the stomach to eat. In a few minutes, her niece Joe would be sitting in front of her and she would have to give her something that had tormented her now deceased mother.
She had asked the nice waiter for extra napkins and not just for the expected tears but for her moist hands and sweating forehead, from across the street she saw Joe trying to navigate her away across the street and into the bar, Joe was such a lovely thing, long flowing black hair, she had a bohemian quality about her and she seemed to have a lust for life that had failed her mother. “Hi Aunt” Edie tried to control herself and her emotions and as she stood up she failed miserably and kind of fell in Joe’s arms and began to sob. “Joe, I have missed you so much’’ Joe hugged her aunt tight and replied ‘’Oh Edie, I missed you too, a lot, are you ok? I have half your nasal fluids on me now’’ she chuckled. Edie sat back down and was now face to face with Joe and as she looked at Joe’s face and hair she could not help thinking back to when she was twenty and Joe’s mother being 23 and how they had so much fun going out and meeting boys and going backpacking and having beautiful memories together and now she looks at Joe and realizes the failures that brought her here today. Edie Exhales ‘’It was pressure you know, I think that was what happened’’ Joe replied ‘’ What happened?’’ ‘’ your mother’’ Edie replied and as she did she noticed for the first time that Joe’s face didn’t flinch, no sadness, no hurt, no rejection, just normal and even a small smile. “She made her choice Edie, I feel cold hearted saying that but it’s not what I mean, I mean she made the choice that suited her and her needs, I am really sure there was nothing to be done, even angels can’t save themselves sometimes, Edie are you ok? You look really tormented, has something happened? Edie wiped her eyes and blew her nose into the white napkin and peeked inside it more out of nervousness than anything else, sometimes she thought, it was easier to see what we expel than see what it was inside. Edie straightened up and composed herself and from her side she bent over and picked up a box and placed it on the table. ‘’These belong to you now Joe, they have brought immense happiness to five out of six incumbents on their wedding day, please wear them, say you will and one day pass them down to your children if you are lucky enough to have some.

Edie opened the nicely worn box and took care not to damage it further and took one beautiful white elegant high heeled shoe from within it and held it up to just in front of her eyes, she thought to herself, not a scratch, not a bloody scratch, not even a small smudge of something, just pure whiteness, just purity in the form of white leather, what must these shoes have seen, not much was her first thought. ‘’ These are the famous Malley’s wedding day shoes I take it?’’ She asked Edie without making eye contact, ‘’ They are, they are Joe aren’t they beautiful?’’ Edie replied. Joe stared at Edie like never before and Edie replied in the same way, for the first time in a long time she realized how Edie was nearly identical to her mother, her stomach now a pit of despair and her hands trembling slightly she threw the shoe in the box without an ounce of care, Edie didn’t move or reply in anyway but just sat there silent. The waiter dropped a jug of iced water in the middle of their table which broke the ice. Edie had to find courage she thought and if she had failed her sister well then, she would not fail her sister’s child. ‘’ It wasn’t the shoes Joe, it was just unhappiness and depression’’ Edie tried to explain gently Joe had other ideas and cut through her ‘’ That, yes and maybe the fact she got pregnant and her Fiancé ditched her and ran off to America and then if that was not torturous enough, her own family picked a local man for her to marry and threatened to disown her if she wouldn’t and these shoes, these ****ing boring white shoes you bring me today are the same ones they found on her as she lay dead in cold, bloody water, are you seriously bringing me these in the hope I will wear them on my wedding day??’’ Edie now sobbing and in shock and not able to speak has her head rooted into her tissue like she is ashamed that she has been the one chosen to bring these shoes to her niece who has cut contact a long time now with her family. Edie looks up and speaks slowly ‘’ We knew you were getting married and we just wanted…’’ Joe does not let her finish and calmly, even mockingly says ‘’ To have me wear these shoes eh? Carry on the tradition, the snobbery, homophobia and god knows what else you absolute imbeciles have in your carryon luggage of traditions and for your information I broke up with Brian, it was not fair, after all it has always been Sally who I have been in love with’’ Edie stiffened up and said ‘’What’’ Edie stood up and took the box in her arms and said to Edie ‘’ Maybe Sally will wear them’’.