Ex's partner posting pictures of our child on social media without my consent

Shannonr13 · 16-06-2017 5:45am #1

My ex boyfriends partner keeps posting pictures of my child all over social media, in which I have asked her to stop many times and she doesn't have my permission. Our child is three. What she comes back with is that the father doesn't mind. I am seriously distressed over this as I am a private person. Is there anything I can do to stop this. It's horrible seeing this, she posts up at least 3 pictures once a week, (they only have her once a week)

Canis Lupus · 16-06-2017 6:02am

Block them on social media and you won't have to see it.

Victor · 16-06-2017 6:06am

Assuming joint custody, if she has your partner's permission, I'm not sure your denial of permission counts.

Peregrinus · 16-06-2017 6:09am

You can talk to the child's father, and ask him to ask her to stop.

Failing that, you can head off to court and ask the court to order a stop on the basis that it's not in the child's best interests. But, without some fairly unusual facts, I wouldn't give much for your chances of success.

Wanderer78 · 16-06-2017 6:39am

I wouldn't be too happy about this myself, apologies but I've no advice. Best of luck

Roadtoad · 16-06-2017 6:58am

Post unflattering pictures of his girlfriend.

Tayschren · 16-06-2017 7:35am

Have you ever posted a picture of your child to social media? If so then you haven't a leg to stand on once the father is OK with it. If you have never posted a picture of your child ever to social media then there is an argument for desisting.

Peregrinus · 16-06-2017 7:41am

Tayschren wrote: »

Have you ever posted a picture of your child to social media? If so then you haven't a leg to stand on once the father is OK with it. If you have never posted a picture of your child ever to social media then there is an argument for desisting.

But not a very strong argument. It's not enough that you have a distaste for pictures of your child being publicly available; you would need to argue that the child's best interests require that this be forbidden. As I say, unless there's something particularly problematic about the nature of the pictures that are being posted, or something unusual about the child's circumstances which make it desirable that pictures should not be readily available, I'm not seeing a strong argument here.

I don't post pictures of my own child to social media and, like the OP, I'm very uncomfortable with the idea. But that's my problem, not my child's. Many people do post pictures of their children, and I can't point to clear harm to the children as a result of that, so it would be hard for me to show that the child's best interests require that pictures should not be posted to social media.

Fatscally · 16-08-2017 3:48pm

@Shannonr13 I've experienced this for 2 years. In my situation I had courts coming up with my ex so I told her "tell him to get them down now or I will show them to the courts as yet another demonstration of how you persistently try to antagonise and aggravate me." They were gone the next day.

Xterminator · 16-08-2017 3:54pm

Hi OP

your being unreasonable. she needs permission from one of the child's guardians. she has it.

if you have a custody arrangement you could petition the court to amend the terms, to not allow social media. its the only way you could 'stop' them.

im not sure what reason you could offer the court to do so.

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Fatscally · 16-08-2017 4:01pm

Xterminator wrote: »

Hi OP

your being unreasonable.

I don't think she's being unreasonable. Maybe you haven't experienced it? Another woman is posting pictures of her baby online and it's highly offensive. It's disrespectful to her feelings. It show's no regard to her as a mother/parent. I'm not even sure why this other woman would want to post pictures of another person's child online anyway? What purpose should that serve?

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Fatscally · 16-08-2017 4:08pm

Just wondering here but... do you have any children yourself?

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Pelvis · 16-08-2017 4:10pm

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If you genuinely can't comprehend why someone would have an issue with someone else posting pictures of their child on the internet, then no one here is going to be able to explain it to you in a way that you would understand.

Fatscally · 16-08-2017 4:14pm

...actually never mind. I can only see your post as being deliberately argumentative, a throw back to why I gave up Boards.ie long ago and a reminder that I should move on now again.

You'll know how it's offensive if you ever experience it. I gather from your post that you don't have any such experience and I hope you never do.

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TheChizler · 16-08-2017 4:18pm

OP if you want people to listen to you you're going to have to explain why you find it offensive. Just saying it is isn't very persuasive. Give yourself a chance to help people understand and maybe they can help.

Pelvis · 16-08-2017 4:20pm

The OP hasn't said she finds it offensive.

Fatscally · 16-08-2017 4:23pm

TheChizler wrote: »

OP if you want people to listen to you you're going to have to explain why you find it offensive. Just saying it is isn't very persuasive. Give yourself a chance to help people understand and maybe they can help.

Because it's "her" baby. It's "hers". The most precious thing in the world that's hers. Not belonging to another woman. If the ex posts pictures it shows that he's caring for his baby. If another woman posts pictures it expresses that she's trying to take her baby away from Mammy. It's threatening. It's disrespectful. It disregards the mother's feelings.

If that needs further explaining to you then you'll just have to wait for life to happen to you.

Fatscally · 16-08-2017 4:25pm

Pelvis wrote: »

The OP hasn't said she finds it offensive.

"I am seriously distressed over this as I am a private person" <<< I think that about covers it.

gctest50 · 16-08-2017 4:25pm

Fatscally wrote: »

@Shannonr13 I've experienced this for 2 years. In my situation I had courts coming up with my ex so I told her "tell him to get them down now or I will show them to the courts as yet another demonstration of how you persistently try to antagonise and aggravate me." They were gone the next day.

Is that blackmail ?

The_Pretender · 16-08-2017 4:34pm

Fatscally wrote: »

Because it's "her" baby. It's "hers". The most precious thing in the world that's hers. Not belonging to another woman. If the ex posts pictures it shows that he's caring for his baby. If another woman posts pictures it expresses that she's trying to take her baby away from Mammy. It's threatening. It's disrespectful. It disregards the mother's feelings.

If that needs further explaining to you then you'll just have to wait for life to happen to you.

You're reading way too much into this. Maybe it happened in your own situation, but in my experience it's more likely to be her wanting to share a great day out with her boyfriend and his kid.

The overriding feeling here is insecurity though. It's like someone not letting their OH have any friendships with people of the same sex.

0ph0rce0 · 16-08-2017 4:43pm

My ex met a new guy. Sound man. Great with the kids.

He posts some stuff up during the week when I don't have them, Few pics out and about or what not.

Great to see them getting on and having fun on facebook.

Jealousy and controlling is what the problem is here. As long as the kids are happy sure who cares?

TheChizler · 16-08-2017 4:54pm

Pelvis wrote: »

The OP hasn't said she finds it offensive.

Apologies to the OP I got you mixed up with someone else!

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Xterminator · 17-08-2017 2:10pm

the OP Shannonr13 is following her ex partner and possibly his partner on social media and getting served up a snapshot of their social life which thank god includes the children.

perhaps if she unfollows then she will not see them them.

But OP wants to control what they do on social media and what they share & that is IMO unreasonable.

PS you dont own your children and they are not property. If seeing them happy bothers you - look away.

twill · 17-08-2017 2:24pm

Xterminator wrote: »

PS you dont own your children and they are not property. If seeing them happy bothers you - look away.

But the pictures become Facebook's property once you upload them and (ownership aside) are published. I can imagine if a photographer went around photographing children and publishing their images without parents' consent and then trying to argue that the parents don't "own" their children. They don't, but they have a duty of care and they are entitled to safeguard them. Some parents don't mind making pictures of their children public, others are uncomfortable with it or try and use discretion in how they do it. Also, what a nasty way to twist the OP's words.

Have you asked the child's father directly? If he does approve it, can you suggest a compromise, such as that the pictures are friends only, or kept within a limited group?

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17-08-2017 2:51pm

Fatscally wrote: »

Because it's "her" baby. It's "hers". The most precious thing in the world that's hers. Not belonging to another woman. If the ex posts pictures it shows that he's caring for his baby. If another woman posts pictures it expresses that she's trying to take her baby away from Mammy. It's threatening. It's disrespectful. It disregards the mother's feelings.

If that needs further explaining to you then you'll just have to wait for life to happen to you.

Not "Hers"

Theirs!

Does she ask for permission from the father for everything she does?

OP, I would again ask the father to consider your feeling on the matter. But there's no need to get aggressive with threats as some are suggesting. At the end of the day, there are probably pictures of the child on other social medias you don't even know about

knipex · 17-08-2017 4:13pm

Fatscally wrote: »

Just wondering here but... do you have any children yourself?

I do.

And I think you and the OP are being unreasonable.

The child's father has no issue. If the mother does not want to see them then don't follow the account.she

knipex · 17-08-2017 4:16pm

Fatscally wrote: »

Because it's "her" baby. It's "hers". The most precious thing in the world that's hers. Not belonging to another woman. If the ex posts pictures it shows that he's caring for his baby. If another woman posts pictures it expresses that she's trying to take her baby away from Mammy. It's threatening. It's disrespectful. It disregards the mother's feelings.

If that needs further explaining to you then you'll just have to wait for life to happen to you.

Ahh.. No its doesn't.

how is it threatening ??

Its not HERS.. Its a child and it has two parents who do not have a relationship, both parties are entitled to have other relationships and to have their partners be part of the children lives.

To be honest your comment reeks of insecurity, paranoia, bitterness and jealousy.

Evd-Burner · 17-08-2017 4:23pm

knipex wrote: »

Ahh.. No its doesn't.

how is it threatening ??

Its not HERS.. Its a child and it has two parents who do not have a relationship, both parties are entitled to have other relationships and to have their partners be part of the children lives.

To be honest your comment reeks of insecurity, paranoia, bitterness and jealousy.

Sounds a bit like an ex of mine

Snickers Man · 08-09-2017 10:01am

Pelvis wrote: »

If you genuinely can't comprehend why someone would have an issue with someone else posting pictures of their child on the internet, then no one here is going to be able to explain it to you in a way that you would understand.

"For those who understand, no explanation is necessary;
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible"

Sounds like a summary of your argument. Mind you, this couplet is usually delivered in a Belfast accent by a masked man in an army jumper surrounded by goons in balaclavas brandishing pistols in the air.

Sleeper12 · 08-09-2017 10:36am

My personal opinion is that if you post pictures of your daughter on Facebook then you can't really complain as that's hypocritical

If however you never post pictures of her you should mention this to your ex. Explain your concerns pointing out that you really believe this & you're are not just picking on his girlfriend.
At the end of day he is her father and has as much say in this

Ex's partner posting pictures of our child on social media without my consent

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