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  • 13-06-2017 9:19am
    #1
    MOLLY1000
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    Hi, reaching out for some advice. My mate of 28 years is having marital problems, his wife is not a great person and very neglectful of their 6 year old son. She is a very expectant person and in her own words lives in her own bubble. They have been struggling for 5 years now but are great at putting on the "happy family" act when it comes to occasions. He is my mate a very long time and we get on great and I don't want to lose him as a friend. BUT.... I hear it all and lately hearing more than I want to hear. Now he thinks she just pushes him because she wants him to leave, I think that's very wrong as she needs him and keeps asking for couple things to be doing. He doesn't seem to want to do anything but yet in conversation I have asked have you both sat down and discussed the marital problems, that it is not all about putting the front on for other people. He puts so much pressure on himself she does nothing ever. I guess right now I am seeing him so down, he can't seem to work (self employed) he is drained, would never seek help from a professional (to proud or thinks it's beneath him) but can't say to him but now it seems he is in full swing of a pity party but is NOT doing or even trying to do anything to change how things are. He says not seeing another woman, I believe him too, he is miserable and I don't want to just tell him to cop on or grow a pair type things cause I know that would not go down well with him. He is a very angry person and can be aggressive at times, his opinion is always right, no matter what others think he has to be right and everyone else is wrong. Trying to talk to him he brings the entire world into it saying things like sure everyone is the same, marriage is the same everywhere, NO IT IS NOT,. I want to be there for him I do he has been there for me in tough times and helped me. I genuinely don't know how to say to him that he needs to make some tough choices and decisions and then live with the choices he has made. Does anyone have any advice I know it sounds silly to put here but I am worried about my friend and I want to at least try to help in the nest way I know how to. He says he stays with her for the child but I know deep down he stays cause afraid of admitting he failed at his marriage to his very controlling family.


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