What is wrong with me? Sex related

goose1

Ok thought about putting this in ladies lounge for more support and would like this thread to be duplicated there if possible.
I am 25 and do not know if I am a Virgin. I realise how ridiculous that sounds but my first boyfriend and I were both virgins and stayed together for four years and since that ended o realised I genuinely don't think he penetrated me properly.
I have never been able to use a tampon as it causes discomfort and I really don't know my body well enough to say where it goes (separate issue)
I havery since had one time things with guys who think I'm a Virgin as they basically can't get in...now I have someone I care a lot about who has the same difficulty. I don't expect him to wait about.
I know the muscles tense up due to various reasons but is this it? What is wrong with me? The easiest biological thing in the world is to have sex and I can't even manage it

Penny Tration

If you struggle to use a tampon and aren't sure where or how exactly to insert it, I'll make a suggestion - masturbate.

Buy some lubricant (KY jelly, Durex or something similar), and teach yourself what you like and what bits work what way, and how insertion works, so that you know what you feel comfortable with.


You sound quite inexperienced, and perhaps a little naive about sex, so teaching yourself what you like and what your body can do, could be a huge help to you. The lubricant will help with insertion issues. And relax! It's not going to happen overnight, and sex isn't the easiest thing in the world!


If teaching yourself and trying alone doesn't help and you still find insertion painful or uncomfortable, talk to your gp, because something like vaginismus is common but treatable.

Airyfairy12

Can you go to a gynecologist? Its very strange that you cant even insert a tampon. Can I ask how or why youre unsure where a tampon goes? there really is only one place and it's something we were taught how to do in primary school sex ed, has no one told you how? tampons also come with instructions. If your vagina tenses up that much or if you have a very small canal there could be another underlying condition that you should talk to a GP or gynecologist about, it could be a physical problem or it could even be psychological.

baby and crumble

I know we can't offer medical advice, but i would suggest that you google "vaginismus" and go to your GP.