Hi there :) need some advice

janedoe1980

Hi Im new here I have a question, I used google but seem to be directed here a lot? Dont know if its the place to get me the answer. I'm 37, female out of a long time relationship with a fella, nearly 20 years!! I have children also. Question is I'm looking to date another woman but cant find anywhere safe that I don't have to upload photos and put them on display for everyone to see, I'm looking to do this privately. Can anyone advice on this? Please don't give me a hard time for posting this here if its the wrong place

nkav86

Plenty of fish doesn't necessarily require photos, you can keep them for sending privately if you wish. If that's the kind of thing you're looking for. Good luck
Edit: photos of your face, it may require some sort of pictures

janedoe1980

@nkav86 Thanks for suggestion but I'm not to keen with that site, heard a lot of bad stuff about fakes on it

ED E

janedoe1980 wrote: »

@nkav86 Thanks for suggestion but I'm not to keen with that site, heard a lot of bad stuff about fakes on it

Not from the LGBT(Q) community but there'll be catfishing and fakes on any online dating platform. Thats part of the territory unfortunately.

If that puts you off the alternative is the old fashioned way.

nkav86

No problem, most of the sites have those kinds of people, so just be careful wherever you find your option

janedoe1980

@ED E old fashioned way is not really an option for me, I don't get out much, wouldn't know where to start and probably to shy.

But thanks anyway

AllForIt

I think most dating apps accommodate ppl who don't want to have profile picture on display for all to see but allow one to send them privately.

If you are one of those ppl who doesn't want to send a picture of yourself privately either for whatever reason then you chances are limited.

Since homosexuality has become acceptable in Ireland ppl on dating sites are wary of ppl who withhold their face pics before meeting as it indicates that there is some kind of baggage going on, and gay ppl don't really want to operate in the shadows anymore. It's just too much hassle and there are plenty of ppl who are happy to put their mug on full display. I'm not suggesting you personally have baggage but it does indicate that you might.

I have a hetro friend who doesn't want to put his full mug on a dating site for fear of the locals seeing him on it and as a result he never meets anyone on it.

baby and crumble

Eh, some people won't have a problem with the no face pics thing. There are other reasons than being in the closet to not wanting your photo online and freely accessible. I mean I don't have an issue with it (yay Instagram and all of the shameless selfies tbh) but I have friends who are out, with no issues with family or friends but who aren't keen on having their details and photo plastered all over the web. Which is fair I reckon.

However, folks with no pictures will get less traction, for whatever reason, so by doing that, OP, and by not entering into more traditional methods (ie chatting folks up, maybe going on more traditional dates and meetups etc) then you are massively narrowing your chances of finding a partner.

2012paddy2012

Hi If you wanted to p.m. me might have advice for you P

Aisling3

Hi janedoe1980  I wanted to post a link to an online messageboard community that might be helpful (for support, not specifically for dating), but I can't because I'm new here. Maybe if you PM me, I could reply?

kerwein

I think you can find the right one within your social circle. Good luck and may you have a great relationship.

NoFace

I think meeting people in person would be better as it's really hard to get anywhere online if you don't have pictures on your dating profiles. But saying that, you don't need to go out with the intention of hitting on someone. Making some friends who are out could help? You could try looking on https://www.meetup.com/find/lgbtq/ for a group that runs events in your area and attend one of them to start to meet people. I found it really helpful when I decided to come out.

Aisling3

If you've always been in a relationship with a man, janedoe1980, maybe you don't know many gay people..? If so, it might be a good idea to expand your social circle. Meetups might be a place to start. Good luck