Relationship advice

huber

I was with a guy a couple of weeks ago that I had fancied for a while, he also said that he had fancied me for ages. We don't live in the same area but I know I'll be bumping into him again in the next few weeks. We left it that we would be seeing each other again that night in local pub(loose arrangement, we both had a good few drinks), for different reasons I couldn't make it out that night, I don't think he did either(not 100% about that). We didn't swap numbers so no way of making contact but he could have made an effort to friend request on Facebook or something if he was really interested? or is he waiting to see what happens next time we meet? Or just forget about him??

danslevent

Why not friend request yourself? Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

wirelessdude01

Why don't you send him a friend request? Take the bull by the horn ðŸ˜

368100

It's 2017 OP....why is it left to him to friend request? For all you know he was out and you didn't show so he thinks you're not interested.

huber

I'd prefer to have an idea what he's thinking first.......

wirelessdude01

huber wrote:

I'd prefer to have an idea what he's thinking first.......

Good luck with that. Next.

368100

huber wrote: »

I'd prefer to have an idea what he's thinking first.......

This is a perfect example of why guys find dating so hard

huber

All very harsh, girls find it difficult too

wirelessdude01

huber wrote:

All very harsh, girls find it difficult too

Alot of ladies create issues where none exist. Very easy to get over this hump, the choice to not do so is your own decision.

What exactly is harsh about being advised to be proactive?

LegacyUser

huber wrote: »

All very harsh, girls find it difficult too

Just go for it. It could be the best thing you ever did. Believe in yourself...and be adventurous!! Go send a friend request.

Big Bag of Chips

huber wrote: »

I'd prefer to have an idea what he's thinking first.......

Do you consider that for all friend requests you send?

It's a friend request on Facebook. Not a marriage proposal!!

LilRedDorcha

You fancy him, he fancies you. Surely that's enough for you to know what he's thinking? Add him on facebook and see what happens.

ManOfMystery

huber wrote: »

I'd prefer to have an idea what he's thinking first.......

I feel unfortunately that social media/Tinder/etc/etc have helped to remove some of the mystery and tension around dating. You swipe someone now and they know you're interested, to some degree. Why do you need to know what he's thinking? Just take a chance, that's part of the excitement. He's already admitted he fancied you too so you've already got a head start. 

What's the worst can happen, he turns around and says he doesn't see anything happening between you? So what? No harm done. Move onwards and upwards. Life will give you, me and everyone else much bigger knocks than that before it's over.

dellas1979

The way I see these things is that you can be light about it...or very intense.

I have to assume this intenseness (and wanting to know what he thinks/making the "moves") comes from a fear of rejection.

Fantastic in some cases where the guy chases you. Doesnt turn out to be all its cracked up to be either. Believe what youre worth. I think a guy chasing a girl can give a false sense of worth. Worth come from you. Not from someone validating you.

If you keep it light, and believe in yourself, youll have much more fun. And its much more empowering. Youre choosing a next step. Even if it doesnt work out.

I think youve gone off in your head already to relationship status or something, when in reality, you really know about 1% of this guy as a potential partner.

huber

Ok I need to send a friend request! Thanks for all the advice.

redfox123

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Do you consider that for all friend requests you send?

It's a friend request on Facebook. Not a marriage proposal!!

It's a totally different thing when it's someone you have fancied for ages and would like to date, every move feels like a minefield!!

GingerLily

Firstly, why do you think he didn't make it to the pub?

All you know is that you bailed on him that second night, if he was there he'll feel very rejected so of course wouldn't want to then send you a FB request.

For all he knows your not interested as you've already stood him up.

I think you should apologies for bailing on him, if he accepts the friend request, and propose another time to meet.