Relationship advice please

tipp.angel

Hi,
I'm looking for advice & i hope someone can read this I'l try it short.

I'm in a relationship with a lovely genuine, well liked popular guy.

I have low self esteem..& a mother of one. My daughter adores my boyfriend.

Lately my low self esteem is getting the better of me. I feel like it's getting the better of me & I feel like I'm pushing my boyfriend away. I'm an introvert & he is an extrovert.

I shy back from going out particularly since Xmas.. because I feel I'm such a quiet girl & i do try my best to talk to everyone. If my boyfriend said to me I'l meet u at the pub..the very thought of walking into the pub on my own is enough for me to text that I'm not going to make it out.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

woodchuck

To be honest this sounds like more of a personal issue than a relationship issue. If you have low self esteem, it's up to you to address that (e.g. counselling). You could however ask your boyfriend to meet you before/outside the pub rather than inside. Or if there are a lot of social events coming together, maybe pick and choose a bit which ones you go to and explain to him that it's too draining for you to attend them all. Other than that though, you can't really expect much from him... your self esteem issues are your own to solve, not his.

strandroad

Is going out to the pub the only way you can meet? Why don't you suggest a cinema or a walk.

tipp.angel

mhge wrote: »

Is going out to the pub the only way you can meet? Why don't you suggest a cinema or a walk.

No..we can do other things but the pub is one of his favourite places! Thanks for your tip.

amtc

I think it's only manners for him to meet you outside...apart from hotel bars or a work local, I wouldn't go into a crowded pub to meet someone. Hell I'd go do far as to say he should pick you.up but at least pop out and collect you at the door.

leggo

Easy answer: say it to him.

It's good that you realise you're pushing him away, but that's not a good thing in itself in relationships, so turn a negative into a positive and whenever you catch yourself doing this (in any scenario) then bring him into how you feel. If you can trust him with expressing your feelings then it won't be a big deal. You've a bit of social anxiety, that's really common and nothing to be ashamed of. I'd say chat to him about ways you can find compromises that take your anxieties into account but also means he doesn't need to stop doing what he likes. If that doesn't go to plan, then you've got an issue and I'd say come back here.