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Worried sick but need advice please.....

  • 02-06-2017 09:26PM
    #1
    bannergirl33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10 ✭


    Hi there,
    I'm looking for a bit of advice.My boyfriend of 4 years,his Dad isn't very well.He had a biopsy done yest and needs to get results next Wed.I'm really worried it's bad news.My own Mam is quite unwell with moderate dementia too.Anytime I ask my boyfriend is he ok,he just says he doesn't think about these things until he has to.He's a farmer and his Dad farms with him. Also,I was meant to move in with him this summer to his family home and now I'm afraid that if his Dad is sick,that this will be delayed even further. (We are going out for 4 years)I guess I'm just worried about everything and finding it hard to cope.

    Any advice much appreciated x


Comments

  • #2
    LirW
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    I recently talked about that with my partner, what if one if his parents will fall ill one day and he has the same approach as your fella.
    If it is bad news it'll be a shock and it could definitely have an impact on your plans, to be very honest with you. You'll probably need to be there for your bf depending on how he copes with it and support him, unfortunately a diagnosis like that can have a very deep impact on a family dynamic.
    I'd sit him down and talk with him about the possible scenarios with a prospect of your plans as a couple and might recommend that he should talk to someone professional about the situation.

    Since I can probably not give you the advice you're really hoping for, best of luck and I hope there will be good news!


  • #3
    bannergirl33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10 ✭bannergirl33


    LirW wrote: »
    I recently talked about that with my partner, what if one if his parents will fall ill one day and he has the same approach as your fella.
    If it is bad news it'll be a shock and it could definitely have an impact on your plans, to be very honest with you. You'll probably need to be there for your bf depending on how he copes with it and support him, unfortunately a diagnosis like that can have a very deep impact on a family dynamic.
    I'd sit him down and talk with him about the possible scenarios with a prospect of your plans as a couple and might recommend that he should talk to someone professional about the situation.

    Since I can probably not give you the advice you're really hoping for, best of luck and I hope there will be good news!


    Thanks for your reply.Its not even that I'd mind the moving in plans being deferred thats not an issue.I'd just feel bad for my boyfriend if his Dad is sick and I'd be worried that he wouldn't cope well and especially when I don't live with him at the moment,I'd even be more worried about him.


  • #4
    bee06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    I agree with your boyfriends approach. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about the "what if's". There is no point in worrying about things that may never happen.


  • #5
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    If his dad is sick. This is secondary to any plans you might have. Unless it's a long term illness. To be blunt, if the news is bad, the last thing you should be thinking about is the timeframe for living together. His dad might not have much time left. Your mum's dementia is a more serious problem for your relationship - dementia can be very long term.


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