Do you hang onto friends for the sake of it?

wakka12

I just hate meeting up with friends Ive known a while just for the sake of maintaining a friendhsip. Its not that I don't like them, some are nice lovely people but I find holding conversation thats not flowing completely naturally extremely tiresome. The thing is though that Ive only met a handful of people in my life who I get along that well with though, so I hang onto the others just for the sake of having a decent social circle. Even though I don't enjoy their company. Is this wrong? Do others do it too?

srsly78

If you hate meeting them then how exactly are they friends?

biko

wakka12 wrote: »

Do others do it too?

Nope, just you in the whole world.

The_Valeyard

Some of my friends would be friends from shared history or experiences that got back a long way. Might not have lot in common these days, but still friends. Sometimes friends who are very different to you make for the most interesting people.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Better a small social circle that actually functions as such, than a wider circle of friends in name only.

Murrisk

I've learned that most people can count their true close friends on one hand or thereabouts. When you see that large social circle, many of them are just acquaintances. So don't hold on to friendships that have petered out, OP. Time is too precious to waste.

retro:electro

I suppose I'd be kind of that way. I'm not a very social person and prefer my own company over that of others. I find it hard to maintain friendships in the sense that I rarely put in any effort to meet up with them, it's usually them who ask me and even then I'd rather be elsewhere, tbh.
In saying that I do have a few good friends who I've been there for in their darkest moments and who id drop what I'm doing in order to help them if they were ever in need. It's just this meeting up for coffee and lunch to gossip bla bla I find a bit draining. It's not that I don't like them, I think they're lovely people, I'm just odd.

wakka12

srsly78 wrote: »

If you hate meeting them then how exactly are they friends?

Meet through school/college/mutual friend/mutual interest and maybe we have things to talk about at the beginning and they still like me and we just keep hanging out

And I guess hate is a strong word. Like theyre good people, its why I ever befriended them. But its just that Im not enjoying going to see them now, and what is the point of having friends if they bring nothing to your life? Id rather watch a movie at home tbh

wakka12

Murrisk wrote: »

I've learned that most people can count their true close friends on one hand or thereabouts. When you see that large social circle, many of them are just acquaintances. So don't hold on to friendships that have petered out, OP. Time is too precious to waste.

I agree whole heartedly but at the same time my number of true friends is small!! I don't want to be considered a loner at the same time

Mister Vain

I hang onto facebook friends for the sake of it.

Murrisk

wakka12 wrote: »

I agree whole heartedly but at the same time my number of true friends is small!! I don't want to be considered a loner at the same time

I have five close friends. My husband has three. We both have loads of acquaintances. Honestly, you're not at all unusual, don't worry!

I don't even think I'd have time for any more close friends than I have. I'd rather have a small number of friends that I can give the proper amount of attention to and be a good friend to than being spread too thin.

Parchment

When I was younger I did- drinking friends etc. Now I'm older I only have friends that I actually really like and I know they are true friends. I actually cut loose a few that were " friends" but actually brought nothing positive to my life.

osarusan

No, I am not even good at meeting up with the friends I do have.

Roger Hassenforder

wakka12 wrote: »

I just hate meeting up with friends Ive known a while just for the sake of maintaining a friendhsip. Its not that I don't like them, some are nice lovely people but I find holding conversation thats not flowing completely naturally extremely tiresome. The thing is though that Ive only met a handful of people in my life who I get along that well with though, so I hang onto the others just for the sake of having a decent social circle. Even though I don't enjoy their company. Is this wrong? Do others do it too?

Why would you be arsed if you're not enjoying their company?
As I get older I'm less inclined to pull myself out of my comfort zone for people you couldn't care if you never saw them again. It's not oddness, it's just antisocial inertia!

Let them drift, cull their numbers and invest in or develop your real friends, and enjoy time with them. You only need four or five good friends.

Wabbit Ears

Ive relegated a good few 'friends' to being just FB friends and don't bother keeping in contact with people who I know wont keep in contact with me if I don't make the effort.

Most people you know are not your friends, they're just people you knew and were you brought together by circumstance and proximity. Not putting effort into maintaining those dead links allows you time to focus on other stuff and making new friends.