Trouble Conceiving

Mr Diggler

Hi all, im looking for some advice and maybe some re-assurance. Me and my wife have been trying to conceive now for around 11 months(this would be our first)

We are both in our very early 30's and have tried everything from ovulation kits to conceive plus lubrication to zinc and folic acid supplements. Nothing seems to be working though. Is it really that hard to get pregnant? I thought it would take a few months but now Im freaking out its taking so long.

I suppose Im just looking to know- has anyone experienced this type of thing trying to conceive. I should add I was on SSRI antidepressants although a low dose until 4-5 months ago and then I came off them. Would that have had an effect? I would love to be a dad and think I would be good at- my wife would be a great mother to. Shes brilliant with kids. Its killing me that it isnt happening for us. Its killing her to.

miamee

Have either of you been for any tests yet to make sure all is as it should be? Lots of people have trouble conceiving, there is a whole Trying to Conceive forum on Boards here so you're not alone Doctors do recommend that if you have been trying for a year (under age 35, 6 months if you're over 35) and still no luck, you should see your GP so that should be the next step to see if there is anything amiss or it's just taking time to happen.

bee06

Go get the tests done for both of you. At least you'll know then if there is something to worry about. It took us a year and a half with a year of fertility treatment. I would always recommend getting the tests done asap.

Neyite

Moved to Trying to Conceive

Teyla Emmagan

It's only been 11 months. It may feel like forever but you're only starting off. Go and speak to a fertility clinic. By the time you get there you should have hit the 12 month mark! And don't start worrying yet.

Folic acid won't help you concieve btw.

Mr Diggler

Thanks for the replies. Think best to see a specialist in the next few weeks then. I suppose I just wanted to get it all off my chest. The fear of not having children is just hard to think about to be honest...

Neyite

There are lots of things that can cause a dip in fertility that are easily fixed. For men especially, look to your diet - lots of fresh fruit & veg, quit smoking, moderate alcohol intake. This goes for the woman too.

A simple hormone blood test for both of you might show up any small fixable imbalances. Start by asking your GP to run the tests, and ask for a referral to the clinic. It's not set in stone that you have to wait 12 months, after 11 if nothing is happening you might as well go and get the ball rolling.

It may not necessarily lead to IVF, so don't be thinking that way. Even the feeling of doing something about it, being proactive rather than waiting can reduce the stress of the situation.

appledrop

Start the ball rolling with the blood tests. We had not conceived at the 12 mths mark so I got the first rounds of bloods done. Then just as I was about to get my results I found out I was pregnant! Nothing wrong in our case it can just take time so don't give up there maybe no problem.

Meathcat7

Tell your wife to keep taking the folic acid though. While it won't help you conceive, it's better to have been taking it before getting pregnant anyway. It's no harm.

Lucuma

Just relax and it will happen!
Only joking. Is your wife getting positive results on the ovulation kits, so she is ovulating?
Generally for under 35s if you've been trying for 1 year then next step is GP to organise blood tests for your wife and a semen analysis for you.
It's quite normal though for it to take a while and ye have age on your side. Obviously I can't give medical advice here but I have been around the TTC boards and forums for years and I've never heard or read of any connection between SSRIs and infertility. I'm sure there are drugs that can affect semen but as far as I know anti-depressents do not fall into that category.
If you're concerned about semen quality or quantity these are a few things:
- Change from tight underwear to loose cotton boxers
- Avoid cycling for periods longer than 30 mins
- Avoid baths or saunas
- No laptop on the lap
- Take a Wellman supplement or similar
- Cut down or cut out cigarettes, alcohol and drugs

LCD

Lucuma wrote: »

Just relax and it will happen!

That gave me a real good laugh. Stick a euro in a jar every time you hear that, then use it for the compensation claim when you finally crack & punch the person who said it

Toots

LCD wrote: »

That gave me a real good laugh. Stick a euro in a jar every time you hear that, then use it for the compensation claim when you finally crack & punch the person who said it

You'd have enough to go fully private for everything and not have to claim off the health insurance :pac:

Ah, but seriously OP, GP would be your first port of call. (If your GP doesn't play ball, clinics like SIMS will carry out the tests for you, not sure if you need a referral though.)

Does your wife have regular cycles? You mention she's using ovulation kits, but they don't tell you if you've actually ovulated - basically they detect a surge of the hormone that usually indicates that ovulation is imminent (next 12-36 hours) however that doesn't guarantee if she's ovulating. If she's recording her basal body temperature, a temp shift would indicate if she has or hasn't. I have PCOS and those ovulation kits were basically useless to me, I'd get the surge a couple of times per cycle, but didn't actually ovulate.

In the meantime, you can both get supplements for trying to conceive, so it would do no harm to take them (women should take folic acid for 12 weeks prior to conception anyway). The doc will most likely do day 3 and day 21 bloods for your wife, and then it'd be a semen analysis for you I think.

Mr Diggler

Thanks Toots, yep her cycles are regular and she has never had any problems along those lines. Interesting about the ovulation though we just assumed that those tests tell you that you are but I understand what you are saying. We are going to try this month one last time before a trip to the docs so thanks all for the advice and hopefully it happens for us soon in whatever way. Should also add im from the North so if IVF was needed you get one free attempt through the NHS before having to go private.

Toots

If she hasn't already, tell her to download the Fertility Friend app. They've a couple of instructional YouTube videos that go through charting you cycle in great detail. If nothing else, it's actually pretty interesting to get to know your cycle on such a detailed level - they also go into how to do the temping (usually first thing in the morning before you get out of bed)

fits

Ditto toots. I have charting to thank for my twins.. after being told I was probably infertile.

lovePurple

We have been trying to conceive, it will be 2 years in February. I had a miscarriage in November. I tell myself it happened once it will happen again. I have been stressed about it but I"m trying not to, it is difficult to do, of course.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you in advance.

Mr Diggler

Hi Lovepurple, its really frustrating I know and draining emotionally for both me and my wife to. Its been just over a year now and we havent conceived. The best advice I can give is just to keep trying and keep going. It will happen. If its happened once it will happen again. So sorry you micarried thats awful. But it did show that body wise you and your partner are grand. Have you had tests done to confirm?

I feel really bad for saying this but I have been seeing cousins, friends and work colleagues get pregnant and my wife so wants a baby as do I so I find myself getting really jealous and envious. It gets me down. Very hard to remain positive but you have got to. There is no other way. Communicate with each other though. Express disappointment, cuddle and support each other. It helps.

bee06

lovePurple wrote: »

We have been trying to conceive, it will be 2 years in February. I had a miscarriage in November. I tell myself it happened once it will happen again. I have been stressed about it but I"m trying not to, it is difficult to do, of course.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you in advance.

Have you been to your GP? If it was me I'd be asking for a referral to a fertility clinic (or refer yourself) and get all the tests done.

s7ryf3925pivug

Both get tested.

For both partners:
Try to reduce stress.
Lose weight if overweight.
Quit drinking if you drink.
Have sex every day or every two days. Abstain from masturbation (specifically the man).
Exercise.
Try not to miss sleep.

Some of the above might be difficult. Trouble conceiving is very stressful. We were trying for two years. Neither of us had any detectable issues. We tried ovulation drugs via a clinic once or twice. They didn't work. Then one day we got a positive test. It was great. Hadn't realised quite how sad I'd become about it all until that point.

I read some acaðmuc literature about it. Apparently if neither party has identifiable fertility issues then having daily sex has a very high chance of conception in a four year period. There's no significant difference between daily sex and ivf treatments in the overall chances of conceiving over a four year period, the only difference is ivf resulted in it happening more quickly. [If there are fertility issues then ivf significantly improves chances.]

lovePurple

Thanks for all your advice everyone. Yes we have been referred for more fertility tests for both of us. I have been tested to check that I am ovulating which I am. I really do think we are doing everything we can. We have age on our side too. I just need to find more things to focus my mind on.

I agree though it is hard seeing my friends and people around mt getting pregnant and having babies.

Our time will come we just need to be patient!

Good luck Everyone!

ruahead

This may sound obvious or silly but straight after a period, start having sex every 2 days or so. By the time your ovulation shows it at be too late that cycle. It's normal to feel envious of others , don't feel bad. I did too and accepting it's normal to feel this and it doesn't make you a bad person helped. Good luck !

lovePurple

Hi Everyone!

I have been tested and everything seems fine with me! They wont test my partner at the moment because we have conceived twice. Unfortunately the second time ended up being an Eptopic pregnancy in April this year! I am still sad about it but I am very lucky that everything worked out well for me. I did have to have my left Fallopian tube removed.

I still have hope I will get pregnant! I hope everyone is doing OK! If you haven't had success YET, please don't give up hope!