Those Little Acts of Kindness - at a time of bereavement.

Lady Chatterton

We had a family bereavement two months ago and I was amazed at how much simple little acts of kindness helped us through our grief.

I was thinking we could use this thread to mention an act of kindness we were grateful for. I'm hoping that the thread might be used as a way of acknowledging the kindness of others, as well as giving us practical ideas on how we can help others who suffer a bereavement.

I'll kick it off -

• A relative sent us a little album of photographs and some previously unseen video recordings of sing-songs taken at weddings and birthdays.
  
  
• Another one I'd like to mention is a beautiful mass card I received on my first day back at work from a work colleague (who I had a very challenging relationship with for years). That single act of kindness helped to heal alot of past hurts.

An Ri rua

I think, if you know both people involved, and if someone for some reason (lots of possibilities) didn't ever say what should be said, then a little embellishment / white lying is in order.

Some will say oh you couldn't do that? But all you're doing is giving someone love and hope and kindness and bridging the chasm of loneliness / regret.

I do it a bit. Just embellish. Its a question of observing people's lives from a perspective of love. And then speaking what ought to have been said. Almost every person has good intentions. And good thoughts. But good intentions don't get things done or said. So a gentle word, sprinkled with white lie fairydust, can soothe someone's heart.

I think that's fair and right.

banie01

The little acts, the effort and care shown really do mean an awful lot at the time.
I found that as time goes on, they meant even more to me down the road when i recalled them.

Grief can make one quite inwardly focused, on our pain and on our loss and that can become quite isolating as we push away those around us.
I know in my case when I'd finally laid that portion of my grieving to rest, I was astounded at the amount of little things my friends and family had done and continued to do to support me.
It made me reassess how I looked at of my own beliefs and habits.

JillyQ

We lost my dad last July. We had a horrific 6 weeks leading up to it. Both parents were in hospital on different sides of the country. I will never forget the kindness shown to me by my extended family friends and neighbours. My neighbours used to leave meals in for me in the evening so I would have something to eat when I got home late at night. My flatmate at the time would always ensure the pantry was full and all bills were paid on time. They would also ensure that I would never be in the house here on my own. When dad passed away my neighbours offered a bed to any of my family members who needed it for dad's funeral. They were also in my homeplace when my dad was being waked making sure that those who travelled got feed. I will never forget the kindness that they showed me during that time I honestly don't know how I would have got through it without them. I also appreciated the kind long distance phone calls I got and messages I got from friends who are aboard.