Advice please

LegacyUser

Ok, so my really good friend and I , who have been very very close for the last year and a half ended up having a chat about 'us' and he told me about his ex with whom he had broken up with a while ago and that he wanted someone to settle down with. I have always held a candle for him but never said anything, and we were/are such good friends that I never wanted to mess that up. I was dating anyway, and we would laugh about it. Anyway.... the usual thing of everyone saying we are perfect together yada yada.... We ended up getting together. During the conversation before we even kissed he asked me if I wanted to be with just one person, and I said yes... and then we slept together, it was lovely and the next day before we got up , he just said 'I don't want anything to change' , then hung around for the afternoon, called me when he got home, texting me for a few days all day. I know what he means with his words , but his actions weren't matching, so during one of the conversations in which he was chatting in really sexual terms, I just told him that he is an absolute tease, and that it wasn't fair, so stop sharing that with me, because it wasn't fair to lead me on when he said he didn't want anything to change. Suffice to say I haven't heard from him since. And boom....I'm gutted. I feel like such a fool, that I compromised myself, but equally I'm so sad about it that I'm getting angry with him because he knew what my feelings were from the outset. AAArrrgggghhh.
If I was giving advice to someone I'd say just forget it, but I can't. How the hell could I have been so stupid. Please advise me.

squonk

I'd say forget it. My reading of what happened is that a line was crossed and that he may have regretted it. I also think he may have wanted a friends with benefits arrangement but now you're not going there, he's backed off.

Look, these things happen. I think it's hard enough to have a good male-female relationship where attraction or at least sex or the curiosity of it doesn't come up at some point on one side. I'd say maybe dont worry. We all react differently and he might be taking time to sort his feelings out. It's not easy on you I know but just chalk this one up to experience. If you really are the close friends you say then I think that will endure if you both want it to.

leggo

This is common, you definitely shouldn't feel like a fool. There was obviously some feelings and curiosity on both sides there. You guys went for it, and he realised he wasn't into it as a permanent deal (agree with the above poster saying he likely wanted fwb). That sucks, but at least now you'll know that it wasn't to be, and you'll get over the sadness fairly quickly I'd say.

Rachiee

Ah that sucks OP you definitely have nothing to feel foolish about it doesn't sound to me like he was dishonest with you when he had the initial chat that led to sex. Having feelings for a friend is so complicated there are so many mixed emotions, once you had sex the tension was lifted that changed things for him and it sounds like he dealt with it extremely badly.
If it's any consolation I think you were right to give it a shot. Life is short it just sucks that it didn't work and he was so immature about it. I can totally understand why you would feel used fair play to you for calling him out on it. Take some time away from eachother hopefully it will clear up soon.