Smegma

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

Do you wash it off or leave it? Does a normal quick rub in the shower get rid of it?

Jim Bob Scratcher

I spread it on my sandwich. Times are tough, with the rescission and all

greencap

I prefer to put it on my toast.

Really though, I've never encountered this smegma stuff, is it like an official substance from the body or just bits of lint.

The only thing thats come close is bits of tissue the odd time, and yer ma's lipstick.

colm_mcm

greencap wrote: »

I prefer to put it on my toast.

Really though, I've never encountered this smegma stuff, is it like an official substance from the body or just bits of lint.

The only thing thats come close is bits of tissue the odd time, and yer ma's lipstick.

Colloquially known as knob cheese.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Arghus

Say a few prayers and it will vanish right up.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Arghus wrote: »

Say a few prayers and it will vanish right up.

Or get a circumcision :pac:

greencap

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Or get a circumcision :pac:

Rarely a logical solution. Heres why.

First - Put a value on your weiner.

(For me it's €13,750,000)


Next, consider the average 'loss of cock volume' percentage. This is how much cock matter will be removed by a circ.

So lets be conservative and say a 2.5% LocvL.

Next, take your weiner value, multiply by 0.025.

This establishes the 'loss of cock value' (Locv not to be confused with LocvL).

So, again a conservative estimate, lets say you value your cock at €1,000,000.

A circumcision (excluding medical costs, missed work, suffering) would thus cost €25,000.

Now, how many times have you had to deal with cock cheese?

Lets be very liberal and say you encounter it 1000 times in your life.

And each time you do, you have to go to the sink and wash it off.

Would you really rather spend €25 than just go and give it a quick scrub?

A quick wash might take 30 seconds.

Which means you're effectively paying yourself €3000 per hour to wash your own weiner. Thats a pretty sweet gig. I'd wash someone elses for that much.
And for an hour too.
It would sparkle like a shooting star on a winters night.

Jim Bob Scratcher

greencap wrote: »

Rarely a logical solution. Heres why.

First - Put a value on your weiner.

(For me it's €13,750,000)


Next, consider the average 'loss of cock volume' percentage. This is how much cock matter will be removed by a circ.

So lets be conservative and say a 2.5% LocvL.

Next, take your weiner value, multiply by 0.025.

This establishes the 'loss of cock value' (Locv not to be confused with LocvL).

So, again a conservative estimate, lets say you value your cock at €1,000,000.

A circumcision (excluding medical costs, missed work, suffering) would thus cost €25,000.

Now, how many times have you had to deal with cock cheese?

Lets be very liberal and say you encounter it 1000 times in your life.

And each time you do, you have to go to the sink and wash it off.

Would you really rather spend €25 than just go and give it a quick scrub?

A quick wash might take 30 seconds.

Which means you're effectively paying yourself €3000 per hour to wash your own weiner. Thats a pretty sweet gig. I'd wash someone elses for that much.
And for an hour too.
It would sparkle like a shooting star on a winters night.

No smelly willy though

AllForIt

,,,

Rumpy Pumpy

Best dealing with the Bell Brie issue if carrying a semi into the shower. Make sure the carriage and coach are dealt with first - watch out for high alcohol content in some of the cheaper body washes - this only exasperates the issue in the long term.

If you're dealing with a serious build up under the bishop's hat then go to a doctor - may need to go 'Larry David'. If not, then a good classic bar of soap - Palmolive - will clear it up, and leave it smelling like a rose garden.

harry Bailey esq

Arghus wrote: »

Say a few prayers and it will vanish right up.

That's your solution to bloody everything!

greencap

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Best dealing with the Bell Brie issue if

hmmm. wonder if thats where that Olson girl got her name.

Mint Sauce

Are you 15 OP?

Professor Moriarty

greencap wrote: »

Rarely a logical solution. Heres why.

First - Put a value on your weiner.

(For me it's €13,750,000)


Next, consider the average 'loss of cock volume' percentage. This is how much cock matter will be removed by a circ.

So lets be conservative and say a 2.5% LocvL.

Next, take your weiner value, multiply by 0.025.

This establishes the 'loss of cock value' (Locv not to be confused with LocvL).

So, again a conservative estimate, lets say you value your cock at €1,000,000.

A circumcision (excluding medical costs, missed work, suffering) would thus cost €25,000.

Now, how many times have you had to deal with cock cheese?

Lets be very liberal and say you encounter it 1000 times in your life.

And each time you do, you have to go to the sink and wash it off.

Would you really rather spend €25 than just go and give it a quick scrub?

A quick wash might take 30 seconds.

Which means you're effectively paying yourself €3000 per hour to wash your own weiner. Thats a pretty sweet gig. I'd wash someone elses for that much.
And for an hour too.
It would sparkle like a shooting star on a winters night.

The sink? The one I use to shave, wash my hands and brush my teeth?

greencap

Professor Moriarty wrote: »

The sink? The one I use to shave, wash my hands and brush my teeth?

Thats the one.

I always wash my dick in the sink. An Eddie Murphy joke introduced me to the concept, and I haven't looked back since.

Professor Moriarty

greencap wrote: »

Thats the one.

I always wash my dick in the sink. An Eddie Murphy joke introduced me to the concept, and I haven't looked back since.

OK. I'm pissing in the shower from now on.

Stigura

I make no secret of the fact that I'm mad about Japanese girls. That'd probably be how I happened upon the short video I have on my hard drive to this day.

It's disgusting! I mean; Seriously! Anyone else who knows it will know what I'm on about. It's f**king Vile!

She's obviously been told she's to perform oral on this bloke. Fine. She's clearly done that before. Now, she's agreed a price to do it on a stranger, on film. Cameras. Action. Roll 'em! (Roll It, more to the point) And sweet f**king jesus! This guy hadn't washed!

It's heart breaking, the way she looks at this half pound of brie. Looks up at the guy. Looks at the director, her face plainly saying, " Ye f**king kidding me?!? " And ye can imagine him saying; " Come on. Just get on with it! Earn ye money. "

Jesus f**king wept! It's Horrible! All over her tongue. And the way, towards the end, she's inspecting it and obviously thinking. " Hmm. Not so bad now. Oh! Just that last bit there. " (Lllick!) I mean, FFS!

Two Girls, One Finger is what it is. But, at least those two are into what they're doing. This is just a normal girl. Expecting to do some normal sex.

Oh christ!!! I've just watched it again! It's f**king worse than I'd remembered! The poor girls face!

No. Clean yeselves, ye dirty bastards!

Cutie 3.14

^^^^^
FFS sake, I'm gagging reading that!

I'm making that sound that Sideshow Bob makes when he gets hit in the face with a rake!

Cupcake_Crisis

I feel sick

Wossack

hmm boursin on crackers not turning out to be a wise choice of lunch today

kfallon

Stigura wrote: »

I make no secret of the fact that I'm mad about Japanese girls. That'd probably be how I happened upon the short video I have on my hard drive to this day.

It's disgusting! I mean; Seriously! Anyone else who knows it will know what I'm on about. It's f**king Vile!

She's obviously been told she's to perform oral on this bloke. Fine. She's clearly done that before. Now, she's agreed a price to do it on a stranger, on film. Cameras. Action. Roll 'em! (Roll It, more to the point) And sweet f**king jesus! This guy hadn't washed!

It's heart breaking, the way she looks at this half pound of brie. Looks up at the guy. Looks at the director, her face plainly saying, " Ye f**king kidding me?!? " And ye can imagine him saying; " Come on. Just get on with it! Earn ye money. "

Jesus f**king wept! It's Horrible! All over her tongue. And the way, towards the end, she's inspecting it and obviously thinking. " Hmm. Not so bad now. Oh! Just that last bit there. " (Lllick!) I mean, FFS!

Two Girls, One Finger is what it is. But, at least those two are into what they're doing. This is just a normal girl. Expecting to do some normal sex.

Oh christ!!! I've just watched it again! It's f**king worse than I'd remembered! The poor girls face!

No. Clean yeselves, ye dirty bastards!

Just get out.........

Hector Savage

Jesus Christ the description of that video is probably worse then the actual video

ChikiChiki

Stigura wrote: »

I make no secret of the fact that I'm mad about Japanese girls. That'd probably be how I happened upon the short video I have on my hard drive to this day.

It's disgusting! I mean; Seriously! Anyone else who knows it will know what I'm on about. It's f**king Vile!

She's obviously been told she's to perform oral on this bloke. Fine. She's clearly done that before. Now, she's agreed a price to do it on a stranger, on film. Cameras. Action. Roll 'em! (Roll It, more to the point) And sweet f**king jesus! This guy hadn't washed!

It's heart breaking, the way she looks at this half pound of brie. Looks up at the guy. Looks at the director, her face plainly saying, " Ye f**king kidding me?!? " And ye can imagine him saying; " Come on. Just get on with it! Earn ye money. "

Jesus f**king wept! It's Horrible! All over her tongue. And the way, towards the end, she's inspecting it and obviously thinking. " Hmm. Not so bad now. Oh! Just that last bit there. " (Lllick!) I mean, FFS!

Two Girls, One Finger is what it is. But, at least those two are into what they're doing. This is just a normal girl. Expecting to do some normal sex.

Oh christ!!! I've just watched it again! It's f**king worse than I'd remembered! The poor girls face!

No. Clean yeselves, ye dirty bastards!

Thats why you saved it on your hard drive...... whatever your into.

Nearly got sick reading that. Your obviously a talented writer lol. Such vivid detail.

daheff

greencap wrote: »

Would you really rather spend €25 than just go and give it a quick scrub?

A quick wash might take 30 seconds.
.

:eek::eek::eek:

wtf is wrong with you man? why you scrubbing it...just give it a nice gentle wash