do people in relationships over text

scheister

I was out of the dating game a few years as college took over and only started dating again last 18 months.
But i have noticed with my last 3 girlfriends they text alot. They are looking to text before work at lunch time and from when i leave work to go to sleep.

If it was one person i would think its them but the fact its been 3 G/F im wondering is this the done thing or what.

My thinking is if you text that much conversation will dry up as since you are texting all the time you have time to do nothing else.

Lead

Yes most people text in relationships. I'd check in with my OH during the day and him with me. We'd ring each other most evenings if we werent seeing each other just to say hi. It's pretty normal to text the person you are seeing during the day.

baby and crumble

TBH texting has evolved a bit thanks to apps like Whatsapp and free web on phones. It means there's a kind of constant conversation going on, if that makes sense? Certainly I'd check in and say hello to my OH every few hours, when I'm on a break or whatever but it's fairly practical stuff (we live together!)

It's fairly normal at this stage but if it's causing problems then talk to them about it. If they expect loads of texts and you're busy then they need to chill out but if you're both just hanging out I guess there's an expectation you'll want to chat.

eviltwin

There is no normal. I never text my other half. If I have something to say I just call and same with him. Some people like to stay connected with a text, others don't see the need. If it's not your thing that's okay. Just make sure you have that conversation early on.

liamtech

scheister wrote: »

I was out of the dating game a few years as college took over and only started dating again last 18 months.
But i have noticed with my last 3 girlfriends they text alot. They are looking to text before work at lunch time and from when i leave work to go to sleep.

If it was one person i would think its them but the fact its been 3 G/F im wondering is this the done thing or what.

My thinking is if you text that much conversation will dry up as since you are texting all the time you have time to do nothing else.

new to this area of boards but i said i would give my opinion!

Yes people text a hell of a lot these days - tbh i was in a relationship for years and we texted for practical reasons - whats are we doing tonight - so and so wants us to drop over at the weekend - im running late etc

Since re-emerging on the dating seen iv had several relationships that didnt last and yes - texting CONSTANTLY - one in particular would be VERY annoyed if i didnt reply promptly -

TBH it seems as though it is simply one of those things - and being single i can say i dont miss having to continuously check to see if i replied to the latest message

SusieBlue

I would say that's normal and wouldn't be uncommon among my friends either. That said, there is no pressure to text back within 30 seconds, we're both at work, and potentially busy, so it would be normal for there to be a gap between messages. Likewise in the evening time, there would also be a gap when cooking dinner/showering/on the phone to a friend etc.

I would say its only an issue if she's insisting on instant texts back. Otherwise it just shows she's thinking of you, which is nice.

We live together now so would rarely text while at work unless its to ask the other to pick up milk or something. Pre living together, if I went the whole day without hearing from him or getting a reply, I'd be worried something was wrong. Its nice to check in.

Lia_lia

I text my OH to ask him to bring home milk. Or "do we have spuds". That kind of thing! I'm awful at texting. Can't really have conversations with people over text. I usually forget to reply. My boyfriend is even worse than me.

That being said some of my colleagues are texting their other halves all day long. Constant back and forth. Depends on the person/couple really!

Flibble

I would say texting habits should be fairly evenly matched. If you're not a texter, there's nothing more irritating than feeling like there's an obligation there.

I text my OH all the time, but there's never any hassle ignoring each other if it doesn't suit to talk for hours at a time. We send each other cute/funny pics of animals, brief stupid voice recordings or video clips on WhatsApp, along with regular texts.

bee06

I would rarely text or speak to my husband on the phone through the day unless it's something specific. If I'm at work then I'm working. I hate having my concentration broken by messages. The guy who sits next to me is constantly either texting his wife or calling her or she's ringing me. I really don't know what they have to say to each other to justify it!

SarahMollie

Myself and my OH don't text each other much during the day. If we do its usually for a practical reason, like a supermarket trip on the way home or similar. Occasionally we might send something funny or if we hear some news that the other might be interested in, thats once a week at most I'd say. We never send "How are you" or "Miss you babez" etc.

uknowwhatimean

Particularly​ if a couple aren't living together then it would be expected to hear from each other via text etc on a more or less daily basis right?

I recently had a relationship end mainly due to lack of contact on her end. I was not going to initiate the contact every day as it has to work both ways. When I brought it up her defence was "she has no news or nothing to say..."

Without regular communication how can the relationship grow? It was a shame because I really liked her.

scheister

That for all the replies. interesting to see the difference between couples that live together and not.

While few have said communication needs to be daily i agree its more when there is 40-50 message each way i wonder is it to much. especially when some are simple one word answers and what u up to messages.

HenryHill

Rarely text the other half, dont see the point. Saying that, we do live together but if i need to speak to her during the day ill call her.

Meauldsegosha

scheister wrote: »

While few have said communication needs to be daily i agree its more when there is 40-50 message each way i wonder is it to much. especially when some are simple one word answers and what u up to messages.

Before we lived together we didn't even send 45-50 message a week, let alone daily. That's just crazy. :eek:

As mentioned up thread, if you are texting that much what do you talk about on dates when you meet up, especially in the early days of dating when you are still getting to know each other.

bee06

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Before we lived together we didn't even send 45-50 message a week, let alone daily. That's just crazy. :eek:

As mentioned up thread, if you are texting that much what do you talk about on dates when you meet up, especially in the early days of dating when you are still getting to know each other.

I think I'd snap if someone was texting me that much. What are they even saying, just inane commentary about mundane things no doubt. It's not like you can have a deep and meaningful get to know you conversation over text. Or maybe I'm just old now.

notsoyoungwan

scheister wrote: »

While few have said communication needs to be daily i agree its more when there is 40-50 message each way i wonder is it to much. especially when some are simple one word answers and what u up to messages.

Oh my god, that amount of texts would drive me insane. It's needy, intrusive and highly irritating. It would also interfere with my ability to do my job properly.

Ursus Horribilis

I don't mind texting but 40-50 times a day is overkill. I'd find it draining and the sort of thing that'd tee me off after a while. How could anyone get anything done if they're reading and replying to all those texts? :eek:

eviltwin

40+ texts a day is beyond ridiculous and is unsustainable. There is just no need for that level of communication. Its controlling and I'd be nipping that in the bud pronto.

uknowwhatimean

Yeah that's a lot of texting in a day alright and then you have the other extreme of not texting at all. A few messages a day would suffice until you see the person again, assuming your not living together. If living together then texting all day would be bizarre yes.

Parchment

I live with my partner - but we would text on and off during the day. Could be stupid stuff or discussing what we are doing that evening/practical stuff.

We would both check in with each other in the morning as we both cycle to work and i like to know he got to work ok and vice versa.

bluelamp

Don't live together, but usually a couple of texts a day and a call nearly every evening.

Both of us have fairly hectic jobs so if either of us doesn't reply for 5 or 6 hours during the day it's not a problem.

Would drive me insane if I was with someone who texted constantly and got narky about not replying promptly etc.

Nobody likes a double texter.....

368100

scheister wrote: »

I was out of the dating game a few years as college took over and only started dating again last 18 months.
But i have noticed with my last 3 girlfriends they text alot. They are looking to text before work at lunch time and from when i leave work to go to sleep.

If it was one person i would think its them but the fact its been 3 G/F im wondering is this the done thing or what.

My thinking is if you text that much conversation will dry up as since you are texting all the time you have time to do nothing else.

I find the same...not do much morning/lunchtime but definately finish work to slerp. and to be honest if it's too excessive then it turns me off. But maybe I wouldn't mind if it was the right person....who knows.