My ex lied to me

wistfuleyes

So...just broke up with someone after 10 months. I did the breaking. He claims he's in love with me..heartbroken etc. I wanted out-it's complicated. I still have massive feelings for him but due to work, family and other reasons, we can't be together right now. We broke up about 2 weeks ago. I was on his Facebook last night and someone had just tagged him in photos from about 6 weeks ago, where he was at a party (he told me he was WORKING the same night..lies)..and who is in the photo with him..they appear to be just talking..but his ex girlfriend, who according to himself he doesn't ever see anymore!!!!! I'm FUMING. When I broke up with him 2 wks ago I said it was best we didn't talk anymore. So we could both move on. But now that I've seen this since-that he lied to me when we were together!..I feel like txting him and letting him know he's found out. I'm just so angry. Should I?

Airyfairy12

It sounds like you made the right choice to dump him and youve had a lucky escape, just move on, it doesnt matter anymore as it wont change anything.

njs030

Youre not together anymore so there's no point bringing it up, what would you hope to achieve? It would just cause a row or worse he'd ignore you/tell you it's none of your business anymore.

Why are you looking at his facebook page? You're better off deleting exs so you don't find out hurtful things.

Tokyo

You've already pulled the trigger on your relationship and have decided to move on. Raking over the coals at this stage will only keep this person (and their excuses) in your life even longer. I wouldn't waste my time calling him out on it, simply bear it in mind the next time he's trying to convince you to get back together.

Sephiroth_dude

wistfuleyes wrote: »

So...just broke up with someone after 10 months. I did the breaking. He claims he's in love with me..heartbroken etc. I wanted out-it's complicated. I still have massive feelings for him but due to work, family and other reasons, we can't be together right now. We broke up about 2 weeks ago. I was on his Facebook last night and someone had just tagged him in photos from about 6 weeks ago, where he was at a party (he told me he was WORKING the same night..lies)..and who is in the photo with him..they appear to be just talking..but his ex girlfriend, who according to himself he doesn't ever see anymore!!!!! I'm FUMING. When I broke up with him 2 wks ago I said it was best we didn't talk anymore. So we could both move on. But now that I've seen this since-that he lied to me when we were together!..I feel like txting him and letting him know he's found out. I'm just so angry. Should I?

Block his number and let it go , you know now what kind of guy he really is now, he's not worth anymore of your time.

leggo

Yeah, like fair enough being wound up, but I don't see what you hope to achieve by arguing. It's over. Unless you broke up with him and planned to get him back when you wanted and this has thrown a spanner in the works? If so well count this as lucky.

Ursus Horribilis

Sending a text when you're angry is very rarely a good idea. I can't see this ending well if you text him. If he ignores you, you'll be pissed off. If he replies back, it's probably going to descend into a text row. You'll be pissed off and no further along the line. Really, you'd be better of not letting him think you still have residual feelings of some sort. Wouldn't it not be better if he believed he's dead to you. Anyway, why were you looking at his Facebook?

retro:electro

Don't bother. See it as a confirmation sign that you did the right thing. Just roll your eyes and move on.

Neyite

No point in letting him know now. It's moot.

It is however a very handy tool for you to focus on when he comes back with his sob story and it will help you not get back with him in a moment of weakness.

SB_Part2

You've already broken up with him. There's nothing to gain by bringing this up now.

beertons

Block him on facebook. You don't need that toxic stuff in your life. It'll help you move on quicker.

Big Bag of Chips

The very lovely and very wise 'This Morning' agony aunt Denise Robertson once said, by reacting to an ex in any way, by seeking revenge on them all your doing is showing them you still care. You're showing them they still matter in your life. You're showing them they still have an affect on you.

It is so difficult when you are angry and emotions are high to hold your tongue. But honestly, what do you think is the most likely outcome of you confronting him on this. He lied to you, probably more than you realise. He's not suddenly going to get an attack of conscience and suddenly admit everything and beg your forgiveness. He's most likely to tell you to fk off, that you're a psycho who is obsessed with him and just can't let the relationship go. He's delighted the relationship is over and he has a lucky escape.... Or something similar.

Whatever you're hoping to get from texting him, won't happen.

wistfuleyes

OP here. I could be wrong but I suspect he is going to contact me for my birthday which is next week. I know he was planning to get me something for my birthday (he said in a text after we broke up that he has something for me he wants to give me regardless of our break up) and what do I do if he gives me something or gives something to a friend to give to me? I am aware he wants to get back together. I do not want to get back together. Yes, I still have majorly strong feelings for him and yes I love him...but there are other issues at play which means we can't be together (on my part mainly)..and now I know he lied to me too. If he sends me something do I ignore or send it back or say to him I know he lied? I've calmed down now and the urge to confront him has lessened. But if he makes contact in one form or another, what do I do? Sorry but need advice. Thanks

Ursus Horribilis

Eh? You've broken up so why would you expect him to give you a birthday present?

I don't think you're being honest with yourself here. You're clearly still very hung up on this guy and it's not healthy. If you own a smartphone, it's time to block his number to stop him being able to contact you. Unless of course you want him to? And if so, why?

wistfuleyes

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Eh? You've broken up so why would you expect him to give you a birthday present?

I don't think you're being honest with yourself here. You're clearly still very hung up on this guy and it's not healthy. If you own a smartphone, it's time to block his number to stop him being able to contact you. Unless of course you want him to? And if so, why?

No, I don't expect him to at all. Nor do I want one!!! I got an indication I'm getting one (he wants us back together). No I don't want contact from him. I am only wondering what I do if I get unsolicited contact in the form of texts or a present. Do I ignore or what do I do? I'm happy not to talk to him again, especially after the latest revelations. I'm only asking what I do if he contacts me????

retro:electro

wistfuleyes wrote: »

No, I don't expect him to at all. Nor do I want one!!! I got an indication I'm getting one (he wants us back together). No I don't want contact from him. I am only wondering what I do if I get unsolicited contact in the form of texts or a present. Do I ignore or what do I do? I'm happy not to talk to him again, especially after the latest revelations. I'm only asking what I do if he contacts me????

Don't open the lines of communication whatsoever. If he contacts you, ignore it and move on. Even better just block him from everything and he won't be able to contact you in the first place.

MissShihTzu

wistfuleyes wrote: »

OP here. I could be wrong but I suspect he is going to contact me for my birthday which is next wk. I know he was planning to get me sthg for my birthday and what do I do if he gives me sthg or gives something to a friend to give to me? Do I ignore or send it back or say to him I know he lied? I've calmed down now and the urge to confront him has lessened. But if he makes contact in one form or another, what do I do? Sorry but need advice. Thanks

What exactly are you looking for here? YOU broke up with HIM - remember?? Presumably, your ex is a grown man. Therefore what he does and with whom is none of your business. And vice-versa, BTW! Frankly, I think you're being incredibly childish about the whole thing. If you break up and agree no contact, then what are you doing looking at what he does on social media?

If he contacts you - fine. Accept the birthday wishes or whatever in good grace and move on.

Big Bag of Chips

Well if you block him on your phone, Facebook, WhatsApp etc he won't be able to contact you. He probably won't give you a present. If he tries to contact you to ask to meet you he won't be able, because you'll have blocked him. And he probably wouldn't give it to someone to give to you.

If he does. Just say no thanks.

This will only get complicated if you make it so.

Ursus Horribilis

Can you not block his number?

Failing that, just ignore him. Why bother getting into correspondence with him?

Riesen_Meal

I don't want your birthday present thank you very much, save it for your ex I'd tell him...

IlmoNT4

You seem to be really overthinking this..... You broke up, its over. Lies etc ...who cares, you're out.

If he sends on a birthday present , text a polite thank you and end the conversation there.
If he texts you to wish you a happy birthday -- say thank you and end the conversation there.

Whats to be gaining by getting upset or involved in his life anymore....nothing!

If he uses your birthday to open a conversation, say thank you but its best if we agree not to contact each other. End of conversation.

What he does, doesn't do, intended to do both past or future is nothing to do with you at this stage. You broke up with him. The end. Move on....

If he lied to you while you were going out, well great! because its over between you and him so its done. Freedom!

Also creeping on him on FB, I know its tempting but do yourself a massive favour and just stay away from his FB.